# Why is Paris Hilton so cute? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455 "2004-09-07T06:31:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/101 "2004-09-09T08:47:24Z")
Yeah but she is Paris Hilton…she could have been called Lagos Hilton. That’s a wayyyyy cheaper hole, I mean Hilton. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/102 "2004-09-09T08:50:25Z")
Y’know, Paris Hilton’s prison bitch name is ‘Juicy Ass.’ :dubious: Life is just SO obvious at times. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/103 "2004-09-09T08:52:25Z")
You lie! Her prison name is Sit 'n Swivel. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/104 "2004-09-09T08:55:29Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > You lie! > > Her prison name is Sit 'n Swivel. No, that’s her childhood nickname. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/105 "2004-09-09T08:59:23Z")
They had Fists that big when she was a child? Colour me :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/106 "2004-09-09T09:06:58Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > They had Fists that big when she was a child? Colour me :eek: So… do you want that blue to be indelible? ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/107 "2004-09-09T09:11:04Z")
I’m sure the bruising didn’t last that long! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/108 "2004-09-09T09:15:35Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > I’m sure the bruising didn’t last that long! You were harmed trying to flee from Paris’ ‘affections’? ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/109 "2004-09-09T09:18:04Z")
Hmmmmpff! This fist has never been near Paris or Lagos. Taste dearheart, taste. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/110 "2004-09-09T09:23:27Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Hmmmmpff! This fist has never been near Paris or Lagos. > > Taste dearheart, taste. That reminds me of an old fisting joke I can easily recast using Ms. Hilton. So, Paris Hilton’s in a sling and says to Ron Jeremy: “Okay, stick one hand inside me” It slides right in. “Okay. Stick the other hand in me.” _It slides right in._ “Now clap.” He says: “I can’t.” Paris squeaks in delight and says: “ **Aren’t I _tight_**?” ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/111 "2004-09-09T09:30:59Z")
Ron Jeremy. Paris Hilton. In the same scenario? That’s it I have to become a nun now, sex has forever been ruined. I’m off to puke! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/112 "2004-09-09T09:41:56Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Ron Jeremy. Paris Hilton. > > In the same scenario? > > That’s it I have to become a nun now, sex has forever been ruined. > > I’m off to puke! Damn, _I’m **good** _. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/113 "2004-09-09T09:44:22Z")
Na not that good. I’m a harlot at heart. I shall get past this unsavoury moment 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/114 "2004-09-09T09:56:22Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Na not that good. I’m a harlot at heart. > > I shall get past this unsavoury moment 🙂 What if I recast the joke with Jessica Tandy and John Holmes? How about Elizabeth Taylor and Joey Buttafuco? Maybe Dennis Rodman and Dame Edna Everage? ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/115 "2004-09-09T09:59:16Z")
Jeeeeeeeeez! Is there any paticular reason you want me to be celibate??? Though the Dennis Rodman/ Edna Everage one could be amusing. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/116 "2004-09-09T10:00:39Z")
Just to spoil your sex life…George Bush and Micheal Moore! So there! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/117 "2004-09-09T10:01:44Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Just to spoil your sex life…George Bush and Micheal Moore! > > So there! 🙂 _Moan_. Wow. I came. _Thanks_! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/118 "2004-09-09T10:03:06Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Jeeeeeeeeez! > > Is there any paticular reason you want me to be celibate??? > > Though the Dennis Rodman/ Edna Everage one could be amusing. _It could be_, possum. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/119 "2004-09-09T10:04:03Z")
Well I didn’t know you were into the kinky stuff! George wearing gumboots (galoshes/wellingtons whatever you call them) with a sturdy sheep 😃 ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/120 "2004-09-09T10:05:44Z")
I’m flinging Gladioli in celebration of the nuptuals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455.md?page=7)