# Why is Paris Hilton so cute? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455 "2004-09-07T06:31:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/121 "2004-09-09T10:09:20Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > I’m flinging Gladioli in celebration of the nuptuals. Madge is the flower girl. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/122 "2004-09-09T10:13:32Z")
Only if we can apply glitter! That women is far too dowdy 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/123 "2004-09-09T10:16:57Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Only if we can apply glitter! > > That women is far too dowdy 😃 Okay, a touch of glitter. Just a touch. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/124 "2004-09-09T10:19:05Z")
And feathers! Pink ones! (poor Paris doesn’t even have a thread anymore) ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/125 "2004-09-09T10:21:15Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > And feathers! Pink ones! > > (poor Paris doesn’t even have a thread anymore) Well, it isn’t like she wears more than a cobweb and pasties. No threads needed really. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/126 "2004-09-09T10:26:54Z")
Of course there are threads needed! How else are the poor boys who visit supposed to clamber out?? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/127 "2004-09-09T10:29:07Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Of course there are threads needed! How else are the poor boys who visit supposed to clamber out?? We’ll just throw a rope ladder down and tell them to use her diaphragm as a trampoline to reach it. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/128 "2004-09-09T10:34:51Z")
Diaphragm! What on the spot harlot can rely on something that takes so much prior planning! Your gayness is showing! Paris is as familar with Diaphragms as she is wth Lagos! Did you not see the video? Did she look like she planned ANYTHING! She needs a thread 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/129 "2004-09-09T10:38:08Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Diaphragm! What on the spot harlot can rely on something that takes so much prior planning! > > Your gayness is showing! Paris is as familar with Diaphragms as she is wth Lagos! > > Did you not see the video? Did she look like she planned ANYTHING! > > She needs a thread 😃 She is a warning to all who are pregnant or thinking of reproducing. Kelly Bundy was a fun fictional character. She’s not so cute in real life with a buttload of money. I think her parents had the same perspective about France that some had in 2001. Why else name a mistake after the City of Lights? ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/130 "2004-09-09T10:44:51Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > Why else name a mistake after the City of Lights? I told you why! Lagos ain’t so flash! Shit! There is a Hilton here but…“ohhhhhhhh baby Auckland do it for me baby” doesn’t work. I vote Kelly reproduces and Paris doesn’t. Of course I’m biased. My name is kelly and I already reproduced and Paris is Icky. (I swear the child’s name is not Bud!) ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/131 "2004-09-09T10:48:43Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > I told you why! Lagos ain’t so flash! > > Shit! There is a Hilton here but…“ohhhhhhhh baby Auckland do it for me baby” doesn’t work. > > I vote Kelly reproduces and Paris doesn’t. > > Of course I’m biased. My name is kelly and I already reproduced and Paris is Icky. (I swear the child’s name is not Bud!) I was gonna say… if Kelly Ripa reproduces one more time they’re gonna gave to use steel cables to tighten her back up. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/132 "2004-09-09T10:51:13Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > I was gonna say… if Kelly Ripa reproduces one more time they’re gonna gave to use steel cables to tighten her back up. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmpfff I thought this was a slag off Paris place :D. So I have a Bimbo name , did my parents know that back in the olden days! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/133 "2004-09-09T10:54:10Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmpfff I thought this was a slag off Paris place :D. So I have a Bimbo name , did my parents know that back in the olden days! 🙂 Neither you or Ripa are bimbos. Kelly’s just had more humans come out of her than a Shriner clown car, ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/134 "2004-09-09T10:55:47Z")
BTW, a few more posts and we’ll have a page all to ourselves. Is this special? Or is it just me? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/135 "2004-09-09T10:56:40Z")
Oh I’m plenty bimbo. Just not all rich and blonde and skanky. See the jealousy oozing 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/136 "2004-09-09T10:58:59Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Oh I’m plenty bimbo. Just not all rich and blonde and skanky. See the jealousy oozing 😃 I thought that was Boston Cream. Or semen. They all taste the same. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/137 "2004-09-09T10:59:13Z")
It is soooooooooo special! I would propose but I don’t have a penis! I feel we have bonded over the uber skank 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/138 "2004-09-09T11:00:19Z")
We’re just an international bondage summit. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/139 "2004-09-09T11:02:23Z")
This is one of the funnniest threads I have read. Especially Crazy Cat Womens comments. And does Chelsea really look like a horse? BTW, I find Paris Hilton vacuous, spoiled, attractive in a trampish way, and of very little use to humanity. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455/140 "2004-09-09T11:03:04Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > I thought that was Boston Cream. > > Or semen. > > They all taste the same. > > 😃 Gay semen tastes like Boston Cream? Damn I have been cheated! It tastes kinda salty to me. That’s it I have caught the gay. Hand over the toaster and the Boston Creams! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-paris-hilton-so-cute/263455.md?page=8)