# Why is porn an epidemic? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2010, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259 "2010-08-05T12:58:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/21 "2010-08-05T14:22:41Z")
Just as long as don’t think you’re hotter than you actually are. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/22 "2010-08-05T14:22:43Z")
If it’s an epidemic, will there be “bring out your masturbators” carts? ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/23 "2010-08-05T14:23:52Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Before we can determine WHY porn is an epidemic, shouldn’t we first establish that porn is, in fact, an epidemic? This is the best answer in this thread. I second the MPSIMS motion. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/24 "2010-08-05T14:25:51Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Just as long as don’t think you’re hotter than you actually are. I have my hotness calibrated twice yearly by professional hotness calibrators, so I am aware at all times of my exact hotness level. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/25 "2010-08-05T14:34:27Z")
Ever have a bigger appetite than a particular restaurant can satisfy? There’s this diner, all you can eat and you can eat it all night long. (apologies to Candye Kane) ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/26 "2010-08-05T14:36:34Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > If it’s an epidemic, will there be “bring out your masturbators” carts? “How do you know he’s a king?” “He hasn’t got cum all over his hand.” ---
**Author:** ![Anon2020](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Anon2020](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anon2020)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/27 "2010-08-05T14:39:06Z")
Could someone please tell me what the heck an MPSIMS is so I can do as requested?! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/28 "2010-08-05T14:40:50Z")
So if it’s an epidemic, does that mean everyone should get their (cum)shots? ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/29 "2010-08-05T14:41:54Z")
guys are forced to resort to porn because the relationships are not satisfactory. the expectation of females in real life has become something that the average guy can’t meet. females look at male tv stars, male movie stars, male rock stars (and the magazines about them) along with romance novels and soap operas and expect their guys to be like that. guys can’t reach those unreasonable fantasy expectations and their relationships are unsatisfactory to the female. we are constantly faced with disappointment in our partner. we can’t take that constant, even unspoken, level of rejection. we resort to porn to attempt to repair the psychological damage. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/30 "2010-08-05T14:43:36Z")
Hang on, I think we’re answering two different questions here. Let’s go back to the question in the OP: > [@Lorac35](#): > > I mean, why would a man in a committed relationship prefer to watch porn to satisfy his needs than initiate sex with his hot girlfriend? “Prefer” is the most important word in there, IMHO. If a man \*prefers \*masturbation, whether porn is involved or not, to sex with a live human, and that preference is a regular thing, then there’s a much deeper problem with sexuality and intimacy in the relationship. One possibility is that he’s addicted to porn (and before you screech, let me reassure you: porn, like anything else, \*can \*be addictive, but that doesn’t mean all or even most of its users \*are \*addicted) and needs professional help to broaden his sexual outlets to include his girlfriend. Another possibility is that there are issues in their relationship and, no matter how hot she is, he isn’t sexually attracted to her anymore. Now, if it’s not really an overriding preference, or if he prefers porn to sex once in a while, then we’re into “normal” territory. People like porn. Heck, chimpanzees like porn. Men tend to like visual porn more than women, but we’re all turned on at least a little bit by watching others have sex, it’s just our primate brains. Sometimes people want sex and intimacy, sometimes they just want sex, and sometimes they just want orgasm, and masturbation to porn is a quick release. If a man can satisfy his partner’s need for sex and intimacy and \*also \*enjoy his alone time with his porn, then there’s nothing pathological about that. It may require some compassion and understanding and even negotiation within the relationship to come to a place where the other partner isn’t threatened by it, but there’s nothing wrong with a person who likes porn AND sex. Variety, as said upthread, is the spice of life, and at least he’s not bringing home any diseases from his DVD’s! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/31 "2010-08-05T14:44:51Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > guys are forced to resort to porn because the relationships are not satisfactory. the expectation of females in real life has become something that the average guy can’t meet. females look at male tv stars, male movie stars, male rock stars (and the magazines about them) along with romance novels and soap operas and expect their guys to be like that. > > guys can’t reach those unreasonable fantasy expectations and their relationships are unsatisfactory to the female. we are constantly faced with disappointment in our partner. we can’t take that constant, even unspoken, level of rejection. we resort to porn to attempt to repair the psychological damage. You said what I said, just substituting pop culture for manly-money-making-man culture. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/32 "2010-08-05T14:48:42Z")
> [@Lorac35](#): > > Could someone please tell me what the heck an MPSIMS is so I can do as requested?! MPSIMS is the “Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share” forum here. What I meant was, if you have a specific situation in mind that you want to ask about, you could post about it in more detail there (or in the “In My Humble Opinion” forum, which actually might be better for this kind of thing) and ask people if they have any thoughts. Since that’s not a question with a specific factual answer, you’ll get better responses in one of those forums (again, probably IMHO rather than MPSIMS, because you’re asking for opinions about a situation). Welcome to the Straight Dope Message Board, hope this helps! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/33 "2010-08-05T14:49:33Z")
It takes a lot less effort for a man to crank one out in front of the computer than to spend a half hour with his lady, giving her what she needs as well as getting off himself. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/34 "2010-08-05T14:50:05Z")
> [@Lorac35](#): > > I mean, why would a man in a committed relationship prefer to watch porn to satisfy his needs than initiate sex with his hot girlfriend? Maybe his hot wife is on the other side of the planet while he is deployed to Afghanistan? Or, similarly, there working schedules do not allow him to initiate sex as much as he’d like. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/35 "2010-08-05T14:51:21Z")
> [@Lorac35](#): > > Could someone please tell me what the heck an MPSIMS is so I can do as requested?! All right, all right… keep your damn pants on. Somewhere near the top of your screen, you should see: Straight Dope Message Board \> Main \> General Questions \> Why is porn an epidemic? The “Straight Dope Message Board” is the name of this website. “Main” is its main section (and as far as I can tell, it’s only section). “General Questions” is a particular forum in the main section, for discussion of factual issues. MPSIMS (short for “Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share”) is another forum, for discussions that are rather less weighty. If you click on “Straight Dope Message Board” or “Main”, you’ll see a list of all the active forums, who have (for the most part) self-explanatory titles. The suggestions being given you here is that a topic of this much potential for sniggering humour would be better suited and would find a more receptive audience in another forum on this message board. You can request that this thread be moved, or just let it go and make a mental note that before starting future threads, you should consider which forum would be most appropriate, such appropriateness probably best determined by getting familiar with the content and practices of the various forums, i.e. reading them, especially the descriptions and the so-called “sticky” threads at the top of each forum. Heh, heh… “sticky” … ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/36 "2010-08-05T14:53:29Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > guys are forced to resort to porn because the relationships are not satisfactory. the expectation of females in real life has become something that the average guy can’t meet. **females look at male tv stars, male movie stars, male rock stars (and the magazines about them) along with romance novels and soap operas and expect their guys to be like that.** > > guys can’t reach those unreasonable fantasy expectations and their relationships are unsatisfactory to the female. we are constantly faced with disappointment in our partner. we can’t take that constant, even unspoken, level of rejection. we resort to porn to attempt to repair the psychological damage. But is that not also reversed? So many people are watching porn (me included) and wanting and expecting their sex lives to be similar. I have made a particular part of your quote bold and I can’t tell you how many guys expect me to be able to do what many of the girls in porn are able to do. And as kinky as I am (which is pretty kinky), I am unable to take 12" in my ass! Consequently, my last relationship ended because of a lack of intimacy - the guy in question, because he had desensitized himself with so much porn watching, was unable to finish with just me, despite all the things I am willing to do. He could only orgasm when watching fairly explicit and unrealistic porn scenes (mostly ass-to-mouth with foursomes and fivesomes). ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/37 "2010-08-05T14:53:54Z")
Sometimes, a man is tired, or feeling too down to go through the effort involved in having sex, or is on a different cycle from the girlfriend, or is trying to meet some need that doesn’t involve companionship. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/38 "2010-08-05T15:09:57Z")
I think this is better suited for IMHO than GQ. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/39 "2010-08-05T15:16:36Z")
Seems the epidemic is how many ‘porn’ questions there are in MPSIMS… ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/40 "2010-08-05T16:19:30Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > So if it’s an epidemic, does that mean everyone should get their (cum)shots? Strangely, relief is obtained by an injection you **give** , not get. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259.md?page=3)