# Why is porn an epidemic? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2010, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259 "2010-08-05T12:58:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/41 "2010-08-05T17:26:41Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I have my hotness calibrated twice yearly by professional hotness calibrators, so I am aware at all times of my exact hotness level. Heh. šŸ˜‰ > [@johnpost](#): > > guys are forced to resort to porn because the relationships are not satisfactory. the expectation of females in real life has become something that the average guy canā€™t meet. females look at male tv stars, male movie stars, male rock stars (and the magazines about them) along with romance novels and soap operas and expect their guys to be like that. > > guys canā€™t reach those unreasonable fantasy expectations and their relationships are unsatisfactory to the female. we are constantly faced with disappointment in our partner. we canā€™t take that constant, even unspoken, level of rejection. we resort to porn to attempt to repair the psychological damage. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Itā€™s an unintended consequence of the sexual revolution. For a man, all sex must be paid for, either as a commodity (as prostitution or porn) or by trading himself as a commodity (being conventionally manly enough to ā€œscore,ā€ or high-status enough to allow a close and loving relationship). Is this really the way things are? If so, thatā€™s really sad, and I donā€™t mean that with any snark at all. Thatā€™s not how my love relationships have ever been, but maybe things are changing. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/42 "2010-08-05T17:41:28Z")
Masturbating to porn and having sex with your girlfriend are two separate but complementary things. Like practicing the guitar alone to be better when playing with your band. ---
**Author:** ![MN\_Maenad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@MN\_Maenad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MN_Maenad)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/43 "2010-08-05T17:51:52Z")
Iā€™m still hung up on why porn is considered to be an epidemic. I just canā€™t see it - itā€™s not like the human population is dropping because 90% of the men are masturbating to porn rather than having sex. And Iā€™d really like to find out when ā€œbefore widely available pornā€ happened. There are pornographic cave paintings, for goodness sake. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/44 "2010-08-05T17:58:12Z")
Porn isnā€™t an epidemic, itā€™s being consumed commensurate with its availability, which has greatly expanded. If your great-great-great grandfather had had access to PornHub, heā€™d have been locked in the reading room with his breeches down around his buckle shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/45 "2010-08-05T18:22:00Z")
Because the girlfriend/wife isnā€™t a robot that will have sex with me whenever I please. Sheā€™s asleep. Or at work. Or out with friends. Or cooking dinner while washing my clothes and asking if I want another beer. Could be anything, really. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/46 "2010-08-05T18:46:37Z")
Because sometimes, youā€™re tired or sheā€™s tired, and having sex with another live human is too much effort but someone still wants an orgasm. Thatā€™s the most common reason in my household, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/47 "2010-08-05T19:02:03Z")
- Porn doesnā€™t get mad when you pick up more porn - Porn doesnā€™t make you sit through every Twilight film - Porn doesnā€™t mind if you want it ten times a day - Porn never has a headache - Porn doesnā€™t judge you if you finish early - Porn doesnā€™t have annoying relatives - Porn knows when to keep quiet ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/48 "2010-08-05T19:21:49Z")
My sex drive is alot higher than my partners. Without masturbating, to porn or without it, Iā€™d be horny and annoyed most of the time. It isnā€™t about prefering it, itā€™s about taking care of what needs taking care of. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/49 "2010-08-05T19:46:42Z")
> [@MN\_Maenad](#): > > Iā€™m still hung up on why porn is considered to be an epidemic. I just canā€™t see it - itā€™s not like the human population is dropping because 90% of the men are masturbating to porn rather than having sex. Even if that were the case, thereā€™s a case to be made that thatā€™s not a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/50 "2010-08-05T20:07:43Z")
Porn is patient, porn is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Porn does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/51 "2010-08-05T20:16:11Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > > Itā€™s an unintended consequence of the sexual revolution. For a man, all sex must be paid for, either as a commodity (as prostitution or porn) or by trading himself as a commodity (being conventionally manly enough to ā€œscore,ā€ or high-status enough to allow a close and loving relationship). > > Is this really the way things are? If so, thatā€™s really sad, and I donā€™t mean that with any snark at all. Thatā€™s not how my love relationships have ever been, but maybe things are changing. I feel itā€™s necessary to break through a higher wall today, to really play the commodity male and do it well, before you can find a meaningful relationship to commit to. After that is when the good stuff happens. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/52 "2010-08-05T20:45:58Z")
I donā€™t know what that means. I just use it to jerk off. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/53 "2010-08-05T20:53:25Z")
> [@Little\_Bird](#): > > It takes a lot less effort for a man to crank one out in front of the computer than to spend a half hour with his lady, giving her what she needs as well as getting off himself. Oh, thatā€™s not at all onerous - itā€™s nice to be able to practise a skill, and fulfilling someone elseā€™s appetites can be at least as enjoyable as getting your own taken care of, if not more so. Itā€™s the two or three weeks of excuses for not being in the mood that gets wearing to negotiate. After a while youā€™d just as soon indulge yourself by watching some wild and unrealistic fantasy, such as a fit woman participating in sex with enthusiasm, expertise and enjoyment. It may be as realistic as pro wrestling but thereā€™s plenty who find that floats their boat too. /grumpy sod ---
**Author:** ![Anon2020](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Anon2020](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anon2020)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/54 "2010-08-05T21:28:16Z")
Iā€™m cracking up reading these replies, thanks guys for your honesty and humor. I have a similar question in IMHO forum, but it was suggested I post it here, in GQ. Iā€™m confused. Anyway, THANKS!! Peace. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/55 "2010-08-05T21:36:36Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Itā€™s an unintended consequence of the sexual revolution. For a man, all sex must be paid for, either as a commodity (as prostitution or porn) or by trading himself as a commodity (being conventionally manly enough to ā€œscore,ā€ or high-status enough to allow a close and loving relationship). What does that have to do with the sexual revolution? Men have always had to pay for most sex in one fashion or another, barring rape. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/56 "2010-08-05T21:39:55Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > > [@Little\_Bird](#): > > > > It takes a lot less effort for a man to crank one out in front of the computer than to spend a half hour with his lady, giving her what she needs as well as getting off himself. > > Oh, thatā€™s not at all onerous - itā€™s nice to be able to practise a skill, and fulfilling someone elseā€™s appetites can be at least as enjoyable as getting your own taken care of, if not more so. Itā€™s the two or three weeks of excuses for not being in the mood that gets wearing to negotiate. After a while youā€™d just as soon indulge yourself by watching some wild and unrealistic fantasy, such as a fit woman participating in sex with enthusiasm, expertise and enjoyment. It may be as realistic as pro wrestling but thereā€™s plenty who find that floats their boat too. > > /grumpy sod Please then, come over and explain to my husband how nice it is to fulfill my needs. Because he seems to have forgotten. And I have only a handful of times in the 7 years of our acquaintance given him anything other than an enthusiastic ā€œletā€™s go!ā€ to his requests. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/57 "2010-08-05T21:41:28Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I have my hotness calibrated twice yearly by professional hotness calibrators, so I am aware at all times of my exact hotness level. Do they use a tuning fork, or what? šŸ˜‰ **Enderw24** , that made me fall out laughing. Especially considering Paulā€™s general attitude toward sex. Anyway, basically what \*\*WhyNot \*\*said. Sometimes you want to have sex with another person, sometimes you want to have sex by yourself. Whatā€™s the big deal? As for the question of the mythical ā€œtime before porn,ā€ I know for sure that the Victorians had some serious porn. So much twisted stuff, from some of the most repressed people in history. ---
**Author:** ![gallan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ee59a6/32.png) [@gallan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/58 "2010-08-05T22:40:42Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > > [@johnpost](#): > > > > guys are forced to resort to porn because the relationships are not satisfactory. the expectation of females in real life has become something that the average guy canā€™t meet. **females look at male tv stars, male movie stars, male rock stars (and the magazines about them) along with romance novels and soap operas and expect their guys to be like that.** > > > > guys canā€™t reach those unreasonable fantasy expectations and their relationships are unsatisfactory to the female. we are constantly faced with disappointment in our partner. we canā€™t take that constant, even unspoken, level of rejection. we resort to porn to attempt to repair the psychological damage. > > But is that not also reversed? So many people are watching porn (me included) and wanting and expecting their sex lives to be similar. > > I have made a particular part of your quote bold and I canā€™t tell you how many guys expect me to be able to do what many of the girls in porn are able to do. And as kinky as I am (which is pretty kinky), I am unable to take 12" in my ass! > > Consequently, my last relationship ended because of a lack of intimacy - the guy in question, because he had desensitized himself with so much porn watching, was unable to finish with just me, despite all the things I am willing to do. He could only orgasm when watching fairly explicit and unrealistic porn scenes (mostly ass-to-mouth with foursomes and fivesomes). I agree with this. Unrealistic expectations for women are as much of a problem - if there is a problem - as they are for men. I was in a relationship with a woman for six months who was so kinky that we might as well have brought out cameras and made some money on the internet (she suggested it at least once). Because of this relationship, I had problems in future relationships because I was used to an extreme that other women werenā€™t willing to give. The extreme had become the norm, so I went through a period when I was watching a lot of porn, where the extreme is also the norm, before I realized that most women in real life werenā€™t like that. Ironically, even with that girl I still watched porn because there was a lot less pressure to perform well each and every time. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/59 "2010-08-05T23:05:23Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > > Itā€™s an unintended consequence of the sexual revolution. For a man, all sex must be paid for, either as a commodity (as prostitution or porn) or by trading himself as a commodity (being conventionally manly enough to ā€œscore,ā€ or high-status enough to allow a close and loving relationship). > > What does that have to do with the sexual revolution? Men have always had to pay for most sex in one fashion or another, barring rape. True, but when women had no economic autonomy, they couldnā€™t afford to be as demanding. Now they can earn a living, but does that relieve menā€™s obligation to be success objects? Hell no, because they can choose their partners, and by and large their choices conform to hunter-gatherer evo-psych twaddle. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259/60 "2010-08-05T23:44:42Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > > What does that have to do with the sexual revolution? Men have always had to pay for most sex in one fashion or another, barring rape. > > True, but when women had no economic autonomy, they couldnā€™t afford to be as demanding. Now they can earn a living, but does that relieve menā€™s obligation to be success objects? Hell no, because they can choose their partners, and by and large their choices conform to hunter-gatherer evo-psych twaddle. This has nothing to do with why men use porn. Social pariahs who will never get laid once use it, as do men happily married to hot loving wives who enjoy sex frequently. Also, you may not have heard this yet, but along with the last couple decades of the sexual revolution came FREE PORN. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-porn-an-epidemic/549259.md?page=4)