# Why is rape so emotionally devastating? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 22, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445 "2003-12-22T13:36:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/41 "2003-12-23T19:47:09Z")
Thanks for the post, **choie**. While I had a pretty good understanding of why that type of rape would be so devastating, you brought up some points I hadn’t thought of before. What I didn’t really state in the OP or any other posts, was that when I was asking the question, I was thinking less along the lines of someone walking down a street in a bad neighborhood and being raped (I’m a college student in a nice area, so it’s not something I think about often), and more along the lines of someone being taken advantage of in a less violent manner. > [@](#): > > Almost by definition rape is an impregnation against the woman’s will. In other words the rapist is someone she has not accepted as a mate. Since humans, and other animals, select mates based on fitness a woman who readily accepts rape will be having offspring to less fit partners. That’s a major drawback in survival terms. That’s basically the answer I was looking for. Originally I was thinking that being impregnated was a good thing in terms of evolution, I didn’t think about how much selective pregnancy would be an advantage to a species. I think you’re absolutely right, **Blake** I don’t really have any more follow-up questions. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/42 "2003-12-23T20:24:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Speaker for the Dead \* > Why some of you say that rape is for fun? Everyone knows it’s not about anything sexual! Actually, I’m not so sure that “everyone knows” that. Recently in GQ there was a long discussion about that subject, [Where Did The Belief That ‘Rape Is Not About Sex’ Originate?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=229900) ---
**Author:** ![hauss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5fc32e/32.png) [@hauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hauss)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/43 "2003-12-23T21:16:27Z")
To add on to my previous post, I have observed women act, after a rape, as if they are a different person… less of a person. As if the rape incident reduced their worth as a human being. Their self confidence suffers and they act in an illogical manner with other normal guys they date afterwords. I think this is what **PetW** is trying to figure out. I thoroughly believe that this is a normal reaction for _many_ rape cases happening to emotional creatures such as women, but I believe **PetW** is wondering why it devastates _so many_ women. I think the easiest answer is to point out that a womans make-up is so emotionally oriented that this is the obvious consequence of such an awful, intrusive act. For a man to understand why is almost impossible. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/44 "2003-12-23T21:19:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Tell that to someone who was raped by a family member, a husband, a boyfriend, a friend. \*\* I’ll tell 'em when I see them this afternoon. I think that the damage it did to their family supports my point. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/45 "2003-12-23T22:09:11Z")
Raped women can and do become pregnant. Being pregnant, in of itself, is not an evolutionary advantage if the father is the sort of undesirable cretin who goes around committing selfish and despicable criminal acts. Rape certainly has the potential to involve humiliation, physcial violence, social criticism (somehow the woman might have “deserved” it), emotional upheaval and the ability to threaten relationships (partner may not be understanding or women less interested in sex due to PTSD, this may lead to divorce or social stigmata, may make person less desirable for future relationship) or cause economic problems (cost and stigma of getting abortion, may not be able to work if pregnant). Despite all these valid concerns, they don’t address the biggest one – fear. Many people are raped by those they know, and may have even trusted. They may not wish to talk about the experience as it could jeopardize their social circle, they may fear the incident could be repeated, they may fear in some way they invited or deserved this terrible treatment. Rape is more devastating then most other crimes since it involves a complete loss of control across all spheres, has more potential to cause life-shattering problems, has more social stigma and involves more fear due to social stigma and the fact THE RAPIST IS OFTEN KNOWN TO THE WOMAN – hence involves huge issues of loss of trust and confidence, social unpheaval and fears about disclosure and recurrence. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/46 "2003-12-23T23:49:48Z")
Well said, doctor. Guinastasia, my apologies for getting my back up in my reply. This is a sensitive enough subject as is. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/47 "2003-12-24T01:47:46Z")
It’s okay-what I said WAS pretty confrontational. I appologize for that. I guess what I mean is people saying, “Oh, a rapist never gets dates, or a woman wouldn’t pick a rapist”, when sadly, many women DO stay around that sort of person. ---
**Author:** ![Lissiepiano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/df788c/32.png) [@Lissiepiano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissiepiano)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/48 "2013-03-25T21:55:53Z")
Rape is emotionally devestating because it goes against what is natural for people. Rape takes all power from the victim and while they regain power after the rape, their confidence has been shot down. Also rape is the infiltration and abuse of the most emotionally vulnerable part of a person: their sexuality, their sexual emotions and orgams. A rapist has taken what the victim believes to be sacred (in ALL cases, even cases of nonvirgins and promiscuous people because they still have the right to control their sexuality) and used it for something selfish and evil. That is why rape is so devestating. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/49 "2013-03-25T22:11:33Z")
Rape is bad. But this particular conversational thread about it sort of died out over 9 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/50 "2013-03-25T23:33:09Z")
nm - stupid fucking Zombie thread ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/51 "2013-03-26T01:51:13Z")
> [@Blake](#): > > Dare I suggest that rape is psychologically devastating for biological reasons? There is a sound evolutionary reason why females would be programmed to find rape highly unpleasant. Women who find rape more unpleasant are more likely to avoid it. That was going to be my opinion, because a person’s sexual choices are extremely important to the outcome of evolution people who find it unpleasant are going to do more to avoid it. But that doesn’t explain why sexual abuse of children or males is also deeply troubling. It could just be because of how deeply tied a person’s sense of shame, social self and self worth are tied to their sexuality. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445/52 "2013-03-26T02:13:10Z")
This thread is probably more appropriate for IMHO, but since it was started in 2003 I’m going to close it rather than move it. Those interested in further discussion can start a new thread in IMHO or Great Debates. Colibri General Questions Moderator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-rape-so-emotionally-devastating/220445.md?page=2)