# Why is sex in public illegal? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870 "2003-06-27T22:35:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/61 "2003-06-30T21:00:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doghouse Reilly \* > \*\* > I think the interesting question is not why the vast majority of people don’t want to see public fucking, but why a tiny minority feels threatened by the idea of privacy and dignity. \*\* Bravo! Bravo! Get that, folks? The problem isn’t with the majority who feel that sex should be something private. Rather, the problem lies with that tiny minority who insist that everyone else should put up with their public sexual acts – even if it means dealing with hygienic issues, unreasonable distraction, cheapening of a private act and the awkwardness of explaining such situations to prepubescent children. And again, I say – if someone feels that he/she absolutely MUST have sex in public, then he/she is the one who needs psychiatric help, not the quiet majority who desire decorum. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/62 "2003-06-30T22:37:17Z")
What I’m trying to get at is why the knee-jerk reaction of “eww - that’s disgusting!” when the idea of sex in public is raised. Those of you exclaiming about how gross it is - have you ever wondered why you feel that way, and where those feelings come from? I’m not saying they aren’t valid, only that they don’t seem to come from a very logical, examined place. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/63 "2003-06-30T23:24:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Perhaps because it’s a private activity. It’s between those two individuals. It’s very intimate. And I feel like I’m intruding. > \*\* Isn’t that a bit of a circular argument, it should be done privately because it is a private activity? Isn’t talking and dancing intimate? As for **Doghouse Reilly** why should the difference between public and private alter the level of intimacy. I’m seeing words like decorum and dignity, but these are arising from the fact that sex in public is considered wrong. If it were the norm, it would be considered completely dignified and within decorum. b.t.w. I would be shocked and uneasy if I saw people having sex openly in the public. I just want to analyze why this is. It feels to me very similar to the way I used to be shocked and horrified if I saw two men holding hands in public. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/64 "2003-07-01T00:36:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*What I’m trying to get at is why the knee-jerk reaction of “eww - that’s disgusting!” when the idea of sex in public is raised. Those of you exclaiming about how gross it is - have you ever wondered why you feel that way, and where those feelings come from? I’m not saying they aren’t valid, only that they don’t seem to come from a very logical, examined place. \*\* I have no problem with sex in public - like, if two people want to do it in their car in a parking lot, good for them. But if it’s someplace there’s a risk of my sitting or putting my hand in a puddle of spooje or women spooje, that’s not cool. ---
**Author:** ![Diff\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@Diff\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diff_T)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/65 "2003-07-01T00:54:54Z")
why can’t people crap in an area where everyone can see? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/66 "2003-07-01T06:21:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*What I’m trying to get at is why the knee-jerk reaction of “eww - that’s disgusting!” \*\* \ See, that’s not my reaction. My reaction would be much more along the lines of :rolleyes:. It always appears to me that people that grope and fondle excessively in public (and no I’m not talking about the occasional smootch or hand holding) are trying _WAY_ to hard. “Oooo - look at me! I’m having sex! Ooooo!” That’s nice. But really, I don’t care if you think the person you’re with is the greatest ever born and you just can’t wait the extra 30 seconds to find a private shrubbery, you having sex in my face is totally out of line. Hey - I don’t turn up in your bedroom and insist on doing my taxes, you can return the favour and not have sex in the coffee shop while I’m studing for a final. ---
**Author:** ![greck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ab992/32.png) [@greck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greck)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/67 "2003-07-01T12:51:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*What I’m trying to get at is why the knee-jerk reaction of “eww - that’s disgusting!” when the idea of sex in public is raised. Those of you exclaiming about how gross it is - have you ever wondered why you feel that way, and where those feelings come from? I’m not saying they aren’t valid, only that they don’t seem to come from a very logical, examined place. \*\* Sandwiched by eeww, my last post was a pretty good attempt at explaining the whole thing (if I must say so myself) from a logical, examined place. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/68 "2003-07-01T15:46:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by greck \* > \*\*Its illegal for a couple of reasons > > Sex is the most intimate of acts, it calls for the most vulnerability. Seeing someone involved in a sexual act is virtually impossible (I’d say definitively unhuman) to feel ambivalent about. > > We take notice seeing people kiss > we take a deep breath if they use tongue, maybe avert our eyes. > We definitely feel uncomfortable if there’s any groping > > with each rise in intensity of the act there is a rise in intensity of our feelings as witnesses, and a lessened ability to be simple witnesses. We become participants, like it or not. > \*\* Is this true of all modern societies? If groping was common place would it still cause people able to see it happening to feel uncomfortable? There seems to be a time in a child’s development that any intimacy seems unpleasant and icky (I remember turning away when anyone kissed on film, and have seen similar reaction from my Nephew). This passes after a while to a more socially normal view of such acts. Can any psychiatrists/ psychologists explain the childish aversion, and its benefit to the growing person’s psychology? ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/69 "2003-07-01T16:19:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bippy the Beardless \* > \*\*Is it unpleasant to see, like someone vomiting, or nose-picking? > > \*\* Obviously, you’ve never seen me naked. Frankly, the genitals (and often the butt and gut) are not exactly the most attractive features most people have. In fact, the male genitals are rather ridiculous-looking. Lots of fun, but ridiculous. I don’t want to see trim, fit, attractive people going at it while I’m trying to eat lunch, and I **certainly** don’t want to see fat, saggy people like me going at it. Ugh! I don’t want to see people groping/playing tonsil hockey/having sex for the same reason I don’t want to see people have screaming arguments, or watch them cry, or listen to their quiet, earnest discussions of what’s wrong in their relationships, or be told about their gynecological issues and the state of their bowels. It’s none of my business, and I don’t want it shoved in my face. Doing so creates a feeling of unwanted intimacy, and it makes me feel rather put-upon. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/70 "2003-07-01T18:07:56Z")
Well, that makes perfect sense. That’s a great point, you crazy old cat lady, you. I don’t really want everyone else’s emotional baggage hanging from me, either. Now, I’m starting to think, why do we need to make something illegal that most people really aren’t interested in doing anyway? ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/71 "2003-07-01T18:29:45Z")
^^^ **CCL** pretty much summed up my feelings on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/72 "2003-07-01T19:38:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*Now, I’m starting to think, why do we need to make something illegal that most people really aren’t interested in doing anyway? \*\* Most people aren’t interested in committing rape, and yet it’s illegal. Most people aren’t interested in torturing six-year-old children, and yet it’s illegal. Most people aren’t interested in flying a passenger jet into prominent New York landmarks, and yet it is illegal. Does that answer your question? ---
**Author:** ![epolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@epolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epolo)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/73 "2003-07-01T20:27:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrazyCatLady \* > \*\*I don’t want to see people groping/playing tonsil hockey/having sex for the same reason I don’t want to see people have screaming arguments, or watch them cry, or listen to their quiet, earnest discussions of what’s wrong in their relationships, or be told about their gynecological issues and the state of their bowels. It’s none of my business, and I don’t want it shoved in my face. Doing so creates a feeling of unwanted intimacy, and it makes me feel rather put-upon. \*\* Oh, dear… Are you suggesting that if I get up on my soapbox at the corner of the park and discuss the state of my bowels, the coppers should come by and toss me in the clink? Not that I’ve done this (lately), but I do cherish my right to freedom of expression. Even if it might incidentally give you an uncomfortable feeling of unwanted intimacy. Millions of cell-phone users take advantage of this right every day. I admit that sometimes it might be tempting to lock them all up, but probably not good public policy. And for those of you concerned about hygene, should we be allowing people to leave puddles of sweat in public places? That would certainly seem to be a pertinent issue today. However, maybe sweating falls under the category of involuntary activities. How about nose blowing, then? Everytime someone blows their nose into a tissue in public they’re aerosolizing millions of potentially disease-causing germs. That’s clearly a voluntary activity and seems much more likely to spread illness. But last time I checked it was still legal. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/74 "2003-07-02T03:19:32Z")
Has anyone advanced any reason at all why it should be legal, or even why that person is _interested_ in the subject except for the chance to thumb their noses at sane adults? Public fucking is not ever going to be legal, the vast majority of people aren’t interested in seeing it legal, and nobody here has come up with an argument why it _should_ be legal. Sounds like a dead issue to me. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/75 "2003-07-02T03:25:26Z")
BTW, it looks like this thread was kind of botched from the beginning. Featherlou apparently wanted to poll members here about why they find public sex offensive, but unfortunately framed it in terms of a pseudo-debate over whether public sex “should be illegal”. Once the thread was moved to Great Debates, the usual gang of children jumped in with their customary delight in saying “poopie poopie poopie” in an effort to shock the grownups. In sum, let’s put this thing out of its misery, shall we? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/76 "2003-07-02T03:37:38Z")
Actually, I started this thread because I was genuinely interested in where we (as a society) got the idea that sex in public should be illegal, beyond the knee-jerk reaction of “eww, gross.” I’m still not sure anyone has supplied a sufficient reason why it _should_ be illegal; all of **JThunder’s** examples are not really the same as two adults having consensual sex - they all involve hurting another person(s) against their will. And lastly, my screen is still saying that this thread is in IMHO. I got moved and it doesn’t show? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/77 "2003-07-02T03:51:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doghouse Reilly \* > \*\*Moreover, it cheapens the ultimate act of intimacy. Maybe for some people, making love is no different from getting a sandwich from the refrigerator, or riding each other like dogs in heat. But others might feel that drawing a veil of privacy around the act helps maintain its dignity and specialness. > > I think the interesting question is not why the vast majority of people don’t want to see public fucking, but why a tiny minority feels threatened by the idea of privacy and dignity. \*\* EXACTLY what I’m trying to say. It’s like people who start telling you every little detail about their sex lives; your grandfather ranting about his inflamed prostate or your boss describing in explicit detail about her irritable bowel syndrome. Excuse me, but somethings aren’t meant to be shared with the entire world. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/78 "2003-07-02T03:58:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > And lastly, my screen is still saying that this thread is in IMHO. I got moved and it doesn’t show? Sorry, I think I got this confused with another thread I’ve been participating in. Still . . . even in IMHO, I should think extraordinary claims warrant extraordinary proof. Why _should_ it be legal? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/79 "2003-07-02T04:40:48Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\* > I’m still not sure anyone has supplied a sufficient reason why it should be illegal; all of **JThunder’s** examples are not really the same as two adults having consensual sex - they all involve hurting another person(s) against their will._\* **featherlou** , get real. You specifically asked, > [@](#): > > Now, I’m starting to think, why do we need to make something illegal that most people really aren’t interested in doing anyway? I was _specifically_ answering that _specifically_ question. So what if most people have no desire to engage in a particular misdeed? That’s not a valid argument for making it legal. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870/80 "2003-07-02T13:31:08Z")
Anyway, the law is still on the books and each member of a New York **threesome** is facing up to 90 days in jail for [public fornication](http://www.courttv.com/people/scm/032703_ctv.html). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-sex-in-public-illegal/184870.md?page=3)