# Why is suicide bad? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 28, 2005, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038 "2005-11-28T08:15:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/21 "2005-11-28T19:56:08Z")
> [@Martin Hyde](#): > > I think you should only be able to end your own life (legally) in cases where you are terminally ill and don’t want to suffer the pain or degradations of the progression of said illness. > > The reason I think suicide is bad (and this comes from someone who has lost someone they loved to suicide) is because I don’t think people who commit suicide are ever of a “sound mind.” They are either suffering extreme depression or some other mental condition that makes them feel they need to end their lives. Suicide is like a fatal heart attack, it can be caused by various things but what it ultimately is is the fatal result of any number of mental health conditions (some of them ill-defined or not defined at all.) I think that most people who are suicidal can somehow be helped, through pyschiatry or some form of direct medical care, and that is a big reason suicide is so tragic. It’s another life lost because the health care community was unable to address the problems. > > We should never allow someone to commit suicide or be supportive of them trying to commit suicide anymore than a nurse should allow a patient in the ICU to flip off their own life support system. I am… uh… in complete agreement with Martin Hyde… must recalibrate… I’ll add that suicide is absolutely devastating to the loved ones who survive. Irrational or not, the “I could have done more” guilt will haunt you the rest of your life. Except for in the case of terminal and degenerative illness, it’s an incredibly harmful and selfish act. ---
**Author:** ![Tevildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Tevildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tevildo)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/22 "2005-11-28T20:00:48Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What’s so bad that a person feels they need to end their life? Not wishing to be too flippant, but why assume that being alive is automatically a good thing? What makes life good in and of itself, if we don’t allow pain into the equation? Would a life of pain be automatically better than death? If so, why? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_stamos_left_ear/32/3198_2.png) [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Stamos_Left_Ear)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/23 "2005-11-28T20:12:07Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > I’ll add that suicide is absolutely devastating to the loved ones who survive. Irrational or not, the “I could have done more” guilt will haunt you the rest of your life. Except for in the case of terminal and degenerative illness, it’s an incredibly harmful and selfish act. Here’s another way to look at it: You have a friend who decides that they have to move far away in order to find their happiness. They go and you can never see them again. Yes, you will miss their company however most people would eventually be able to reconcile their emotions with the realization that the person did what they wanted to do and were at peace with their decision. Why is suicide any different? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/24 "2005-11-28T20:56:09Z")
What about those Tibetan monks who set themselves on fire for peace? Should they have been stopped? Were they crazy? **davenportavenger** says “but not everybody has a will of steel” - didn’t they? Or does this discussion only count for Western people? ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/25 "2005-11-28T21:11:00Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What’s so bad that a person feels they need to end their life? Lose a job? Some girl/boy won’t go with you to prom? Kids at school don’t like you? Life has no “meaning”? Bored? > > There are other jobs. There are other girls/boys and other dances. There are other people you can be friends with. You have a whole lifetime to find “meaning” if you want. Go find a hobby. No, usually **successful suicide** has nothing to do with boredom, or temporary heartbreak, or disappointment. Many people who commit suicide are in chronic, neverending, agonizing pain. Some have conditions like CF or MS which are never going to get better, which are going to debilitate them, cost them and their families pain and suffering and dollars upon dollars. Many people who commit suicide have been sexually abused all their lives. Many of them are not yet of age to leave their houses. Many people who commit suicide have been ostracized from their families for some reason–they’re gay, they’re pregnant, etc. Many people who commit suicide are desperately mentally ill–schizophrenic, clinical depression, bipolar, and so on and so forth. Many of them have tried medications, therapy, hospitalizations, ECT, and just about every other thing you can think of, and it still won’t get better. Most people who attempt and succeed are not being melodramatic, and it’s hard to tell if someone who threatens to do so is being serious. Here’s a cite as to your questions about race/class/gender breakdown: [http://www.nimh.nih.gov/suicideprevention/suifact.cfm](http://www.nimh.nih.gov/suicideprevention/suifact.cfm) ---
**Author:** ![priapus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@priapus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/priapus)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/26 "2005-11-28T22:30:47Z")
A friend of mine’s brother committed suicide.His note said he was failing a college course.Obviously,there were other issues,like self-image.His death is a cloud over his family that will never disperse ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/27 "2005-11-28T22:51:31Z")
> [@Martin Hyde](#): > > I think you should only be able to end your own life **(legally)** 1. Just how do you plan to prosecute those who end their lives? 2. For those who attempt suicide and fail, do you really think legal prosecution is going to make them less likely to want to kill themselves? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/28 "2005-11-28T23:05:17Z")
Suicide is bad because it hurts others. That’s the definition of bad. See, it’s easy: 1. if it helps your community (family, friends, town… in the end, species), it’s good. 2. if it hurts your community, it’s bad. I still have to hear of a single case of suicide where only the deceased was hurt. The survivors are left holding the ashes with no urn to put them in, feeling that they should have done something differently, feeling that they killed this person through inaction or wrongdoing. “If I had gone with him on that date”… “if I hadn’t divorced her”… “if I hadn’t been so busy”… the list goes on forever. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/29 "2005-11-28T23:13:25Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Suicide is bad because it hurts others. Keeping other people alive against their will just so you don’t have to feel guilt is bad because it hurts others. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/30 "2005-11-29T01:56:51Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What’s so bad that a person feels they need to end their life? Lose a job? Some girl/boy won’t go with you to prom? Kids at school don’t like you? Life has no “meaning”? Bored? > > There are other jobs. There are other girls/boys and other dances. There are other people you can be friends with. You have a whole lifetime to find “meaning” if you want. Go find a hobby. > > Some people commit suicide because they are severely depressed. There’s help for that. Others are just bored or despondent teenagers who seek melodrama. It just seems pathetic and cowardly to me that someone would choose suicide over fixing whats wrong in their lives. > > I’m curious as to the demographics of most suicides. I thought I heard somewhere that it tends to be mostly white people of at least moderate income families. Maybe someone else knows for certain. You’re kidding right? Have you not seen gazillion of threads on this very board explaining the many, _many_ reasons people commit suicide beside the shallow ones you’ve listed? Please. Surely, you can extrapolate any data to extend to other circumstances this severe than that. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/31 "2005-11-29T02:01:03Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Suicide is bad because it hurts others. That’s the definition of bad. > > See, it’s easy: > > 1. if it helps your community (family, friends, town… in the end, species), it’s good. > > 2. if it hurts your community, it’s bad. > > I still have to hear of a single case of suicide where only the deceased was hurt. The survivors are left holding the ashes with no urn to put them in, feeling that they should have done something differently, feeling that they killed this person through inaction or wrongdoing. “If I had gone with him on that date”… “if I hadn’t divorced her”… “if I hadn’t been so busy”… the list goes on forever. I understand, a lot, that suicide drastically hurts those left behind, but I’ll ask (again – every thread we have on this I put it out there, yet no one ever seems to answer) this… How much effort/time should a person put forth before they give up? 20 years? Die instead of old age, after a horrendous lifetime, to make _everyone_ else feel better? I know in that situation, _I_ would be the one feeling guilty, but not for the reasons listed. But because I had put my possible pain and loss above their real, current tragic existence. When is enough?? And who gets to say that said suicidal person has worked on it plenty or not, if they aren’t allow to make that determination for themselves? ---
**Author:** ![Club\_33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Club\_33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Club_33)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/32 "2005-11-29T02:26:10Z")
I have to agree with others who have said that suicide is bad because of the pain it inflicts upon others. My roommate commited suicide last month. He left behind a beautiful 9 yr old girl that adored her daddy and doesn’t understand why he chose to lay down on the train tracks. Her mother, who has been struggling financially, has a whole new set of problems now that there is no longer child support. They will both carry this pain with them for a long, long time. I’m all for people being able to end their life due to a terminal illness but I cannot support or respect anyone who does it for other reasons. I will freely admit, however, that maybe this topic hits a little too close to home right now for me to offer an unbiased opinion. I just don’t think it is right to hurt a child that way. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/33 "2005-11-29T03:19:44Z")
> [@John\_Stamos'\_Left\_Ear](#): > > Here’s another way to look at it: > > You have a friend who decides that they have to move far away in order to find their happiness. They go and you can never see them again. Yes, you will miss their company however most people would eventually be able to reconcile their emotions with the realization that the person did what they wanted to do and were at peace with their decision. > > Why is suicide any different? With a friend who moves away you can 1- write them 2- call them 3- maintain hope of one day seeing them again 4- not have to live in guilt that you could have done more to help them 5- hope that they’re happy wherever they are (which yes, you can do that with suicides as well as, but it’s a lot different) Then there are the religious issues. While personally I’m agnostic, to most Christians suicide is considered a mortal sin- can you imagine the pain of a mother or sister or child who thinks their relative is in Hell? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/34 "2005-11-29T04:13:13Z")
The saying goes that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I don’t mean to deny the pain and difficulties of prolonged depression, but I think there’s some truth to that. We make the effort to stop our friends from doing things they’d regret and things that would cause them harm. The greater severity doesn’t make suicide an exception. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/35 "2005-11-29T05:39:25Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > You’re kidding right? Have you not seen gazillion of threads on this very board explaining the many, _many_ reasons people commit suicide beside the shallow ones you’ve listed? Please. Surely, you can extrapolate any data to extend to other circumstances this severe than that. ☹ Oh well boo hoo. No matter what your problem, there are plenty of people with the same problems who somehow manage to deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/36 "2005-11-29T05:45:42Z")
Depression and mental pain can make life not worth living. I agree that this decision should not be taken lightly, nor do I see any value inherent in life to prevent a person from ending their pain. Of course, the one issue with this argument, as many have pointed out, are the ones that are left behind. I can only hope that, if such a situation comes up in my life, I would have the strength to accept and support the decision (if I feel it was made well) of a loved one to kill themselves. My pleasure in their company is not worth their pain. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/37 "2005-11-29T05:46:59Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Oh well boo hoo. No matter what your problem, there are plenty of people with the same problems who somehow manage to deal with it. Alas, “boo hoo, suck it up” is probably not helpful advice. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/38 "2005-11-29T05:57:32Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Oh well boo hoo. No matter what your problem, there are plenty of people with the same problems who somehow manage to deal with it. Ya know, I’m pretty sure that you don’t mean to be a dick, but sometimes I really think you would benefit from a beter filter before you post. Many people with horrible, crushing depression that isn’t improved by anything - not drugs, not therapy, not electro-shock (which only works for 80% or so of patients who get it) deal with the problem by killing themselves. I understand what it’s like to be a happy go lucky sort of person for whom depression isn’t a big issue - however, rather than being a turd, I attempt to have some compassion for people who suffer from a disorder that, God willling, I will never have the misfortune of enduring. Rather than posting your nasty thoughts, perhaps you could spend that time thanking your lucky stars that your life is so easy. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/39 "2005-11-29T06:06:44Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Oh well boo hoo. No matter what your problem, there are plenty of people with the same problems who somehow manage to deal with it. I’m sure you won’t take this seriously, care or even give it a single second of thought, but you can find yourself once again languishing away in a [Pit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6842737#post6842737). If you’d care to join me. That said, your belief on what anyone else can or cannot do makes absolutely _zero_ difference in what someone else is capable of. So, if you don’t mind, I believe we could burn that straw man in effigy. And do you think it’s possible, without armchair psyching anyone’s mental health or problems, you could actually answer the question. Which was, if you forgot, how long is long enough, in your opinion? Or is your well-being, happiness and exclusion from any pain caused by a suicidal person more important than their life? If your reply to this is yes, then coming from you I can certainly understand why you’d believe that. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038/40 "2005-11-29T06:08:13Z")
Also, I wanted to thank **Marley** and **alice**. It was only reading your subsequent thoughts that prevented me from blowing a gasket. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-suicide-bad/333038.md?page=3)