# why is there no one-all, end-all ninja movie? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 26, 2008, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300 "2008-08-26T11:29:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300/21 "2008-08-26T18:27:31Z")
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] Zombie Pirate Ninja Nazi _Sharks_ with lasers. On their Frikkin’ heads! [/QUOTE] Who are British secret agents… ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300/22 "2008-08-26T18:40:47Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] I don’t get it. How was that any different than any other depiction of Ninjas as black hooded katana and bow wielding assassins? [/QUOTE] Note how they operate. No exotic ninja running across the water, climbing a hseer wall, killing fifty guys, then having a monster swordfigth with the daimyo. Here, the… [spoiler]Ninja come in a group, basically walk right up to the village and climb a roof, shoot a crosbow, and then get slaughtered by the more-combat-skilled samurai guards. Yes, it was movie action-oriented, but it’s the best depiction I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300/23 "2008-08-26T18:42:28Z")
While I agree that the world is due for a really good ninja movie, the sad fact is that most people think “ninja movie”, and they think [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EvPvfVOUV8) or [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xy8AlMh31cM). Ahhh, the dearly departed Cannon Group. They actually made several decent films - _The Company of Wolves_ and _Runaway Train_ come to mind - but they sure did make some craptabulotastic martial arts movies. Personally, I’d like to see a ninja movie made in the _nouveau_ spy movie style a la the Bourne movies - tense, with lots of action, spare on the dialogue but well-filmed and with solid actors. But somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen, so I’ll resign myself to holding out for a Zombie Pirate Ninja Nazi Shark secret agent _robot_ movie. With lasers. \Now, if Joel Schumacher were reading this thread, you just **know** he’d be thinking: “Zombie Pirate Ninja Nazi Shark Secret Agent Robots-with-lasers? Holy crap!! Where would I put the nipples?” ---
**Author:** ![davidw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c4cdca/32.png) [@davidw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidw)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300/24 "2008-08-26T19:20:28Z")
[QUOTE=smiling bandit] Try [Musashi](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musashi_(novel))? It’s like the Japanese version of Beowulf crossed with Gone with the Wind. It’s not only very accurate historically, it evokes an entire era and the men who made it. It covers their failings and triumphs, and the violence and desperation of a brutal time. [/QUOTE] Or it may have been Taiko, by the same author, about the rise of Hideyoshi Toyotomi. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300/25 "2008-08-26T19:38:30Z")
Because Quentin hasn’t gotten around to filming it? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300/26 "2008-08-27T07:07:34Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] No, no, the definitive ninja series is [2 x 2 Shinobuden](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0441824/), also known as [Ninja Nonsense](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninin_Ga_Shinobuden). (In addition, the much longer series **Naruto** also says a fair bit about ninjas.) [/QUOTE] err, no. I’ll stick with my answer, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crocodiles_And_Boulevards)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300/27 "2008-08-27T09:20:56Z")
Heheh, have you guys seen the Ninja Parade? > **[The Onion | America's Finest News Source.](https://www.theonion.com/)** > > The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300/28 "2008-08-27T12:08:28Z")
[QUOTE=Crocodiles And Boulevards] Heheh, have you guys seen the Ninja Parade? [http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ninja\_parade\_slips\_through\_town](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ninja_parade_slips_through_town) [/QUOTE] Nope, didn’t see a thing. How about a Zombie Pirate Ninja Nazi Shark secret agent robot _mutant_ movie? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-no-one-all-end-all-ninja-movie/461300.md?page=1)