# Why is this joke funny (from "1776") **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 1, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596 "2012-11-01T17:53:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/21 "2012-11-02T14:52:36Z")
cows bulls oxen steers heifers calves bullocks bovines bobby steers (I went to grade school with him!) bollocks buttocks cattle Bos what am I leaving out? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/22 "2012-11-02T14:54:28Z")
> [@](#): > > cows > bulls > oxen > steers > heifers > calves > bullocks > bovines > bobby steers (I went to grade school with him!) > bollocks > **buttocks** > cattle > Bos One of these things is not like the others… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/23 "2012-11-02T15:03:38Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > cows > bulls > oxen > steers > heifers > calves > bullocks > bovines > bobby steers (I went to grade school with him!) > bollocks > buttocks > cattle > Bos > > what am I leaving out? The hen. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/24 "2012-11-02T15:09:08Z")
To be fair, an animal meant to be an ox is probably a very different breed than your local milk cow. Domestic cattle are highly bred to task, and there is a strong physical difference. breeding for hard strong muscle vs milk production vs tender yummy muscle yields different forms. [Ox](http://www.travelblog.org/Photos/550610) , [Milk](http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRe6rh4r7nhKwYMWmsecmRhlSJs09HEUvDBRTaNCXjXN-MiZnWw) [Cow](http://www.ueog.org/images/image001_MilkCow.jpg) , [Steer](http://www.sullivanranch.net/2007pasturesale/875%20steer-%20Money%20Talks%20X%20Simmy%20Angus.jpg) Oh, and the chicken is the baby, the hen and the rooster are the Mommy and the Daddy respectively. Costanza is sick. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/25 "2012-11-02T23:37:42Z")
My daughter asked, as we drove past a field of cattle, why there were mummy cows and baby cows, but no daddy cows. I never thought of it like that before, it seemed sort of odd all of a sudden. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2012, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/26 "2012-11-02T23:48:46Z")
> [@Pushkin](#): > > My daughter asked, as we drove past a field of cattle, why there were mummy cows and baby cows, but no daddy cows. I never thought of it like that before, it seemed sort of odd all of a sudden. Daddy was busy. _The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the cattle she noticed that a bull was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, “Dozens of times each day.” Mrs. Coolidge said, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.” Upon being told, President asked, “Same cow every time?” The reply was, “Oh, no, Mr. President, a different cow every time.” President: “Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge.”_ ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/27 "2012-11-03T03:40:31Z")
Also, there are species which are just called oxen, like the river ox and musk ox. Then the word applies to the whole species, not just the bastards who lost their marbles. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2012, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/28 "2012-11-05T03:14:52Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Oh, and the chicken is the baby, the hen and the rooster are the Mommy and the Daddy respectively. Costanza is sick. The babies are chicks. Chicks, hens and roosters are all chickens, just as calves, bulls and cows are all cattle. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2012, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/29 "2012-11-05T12:31:42Z")
> [@SCAdian](#): > > The babies are chicks. Chicks, hens and roosters are all chickens, just as calves, bulls and cows are all cattle. Not the usage I’ve heard from people who actually raise them, but Webster agrees - sort of: > [@](#): > > Definition of _CHICKEN_ > > 1 > _a_ **:** the common domestic fowl (_Gallus gallus_) especially when young; _also_ **:** its flesh used as food — compare [jungle fowl](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jungle+fowl) > _b_ **:** any of various birds or their young > > 2 > **:** a young woman > > 3 > _a_ **:** [coward](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/coward) > _b_ **:** any of various contests in which the participants risk personal safety in order to see which one will give up first ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/30 "2012-11-06T21:53:25Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Daddy was busy. > > _The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown [separately] around an experimental government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the cattle she noticed that a bull was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, “Dozens of times each day.” Mrs. Coolidge said, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.” Upon being told, President asked, “Same cow every time?” The reply was, “Oh, no, Mr. President, a different cow every time.” President: “Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge.”_ Oh, the hilarity that ensued when Cal \*wasn’t \*silent! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![phreesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@phreesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreesh)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/31 "2012-11-06T22:12:42Z")
Count me as another who thought oxen were different from cows. So, now that we have tractors and trucks and whatnot, I guess it’s safe to assume we don’t have many oxen anymore and that most males are cattle and some very lucky souls remain bulls. Is that correct? ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/32 "2012-11-06T22:34:37Z")
> [@Ken001](#): > > LOL…err…cows are ladies. What you mean is “domestic cattle” of which there are many breeds. > > Although you are probably correct about the local bovines. Female cattle are the most ubiquitous because they give milk and people like that. Plus the lucky young ones as heifers get to meet the bull who…well you get the idea. Anyway then more cows and bull calves arrive. Mum (the cow) now lactates and spends the next 5 years or so being milked. > > The calves are either - and I’m sorry to explain this - slaughtered as bobby calves to provide veal and soft leather, or raised to be cows, bulls, or steers (or oxen but I’ve never seen this done in NZ). > > Having said that, dairy cattle do not make good beef so the boy calves really don’t get much life span. It is a curious feature of modern English that there really isn’t a word for the animal that chews its cud and goes “Moo”. You have a word for a male animal of that species, a word for the female animal, a word for the immature female, the immature male, the undifferentiated immature animal, the undifferentiated adolescent animal, the castrated male, the male animal used as a draft animal, the mature female who has not yet borne offspring, the infant animal used for food, and, finally, a word for an undifferentiated group of the animals. However, there is no generic word for an unspecified, individual, animal. It has been suggested that this species is unique in that the generic term for the animal is the term for the female of the species, and this is not implausible, but not entirely correct. It has also been suggested that the more or less archaic usage of “a beef” is another possibility, but this is certainly not modern English. It is a conundrum. ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/33 "2012-11-06T23:13:16Z")
I always liked beeve and beeves ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/34 "2012-11-06T23:53:13Z")
> [@Kizarvexius](#): > > Oh, the hilarity that ensued when Cal \*wasn’t \*silent! 😃 It’s actually a template joke. You can insert your own favorite taciturn President. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/35 "2012-11-07T00:26:05Z")
> [@phreesh](#): > > Count me as another who thought oxen were different from cows. > > So, now that we have tractors and trucks and whatnot, I guess it’s safe to assume we don’t have many oxen anymore and that most males are cattle and some very lucky souls remain bulls. > > Is that correct? There are still oxen at historical recreation museums, like Sturbridge Village. I’ll bet there are still plenty of oxen in the US, although I don’t know why. I’m certain there are plenty of oxen elsewhere in the world. Oxen don’t require gasoline or regular mechanical maintenance, and can work on uneven surfaces. Better still, you can get them created and raised them organically! ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/36 "2012-11-07T23:22:55Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > It is a curious feature of modern English that there really isn’t a word for the animal that chews its cud and goes “Moo”. Could this reflect the difference in importance and function of the different sexes and ages of the animal? If you rely on the animals for food, clothing, and labor on a daily basis, it probably doesn’t make much sense to think of them all the same. You got your female cattle, who provide milk and baby cattle. Then you got your adult intact male cattle, who help get the baby cattle started, but are rather dangerous and not good for much else. Your altered adult male cattle are strictly working beasts. The babies - if they aren’t destined to become one of the above - are tasty little things wrapped in nice leather. It’s a bit like the old saw about how “Eskimos have 24 words for snow.” It’s not as simple as that, but people who have so much to gain or lose from (mis)understanding the nature of frozen precipitation are unlikely to talk about “snow” in generalities. They’re going to talk about “dry snow,” “wet snow,” “snow in flakes,” “snow in little pellets,” “snow on the ground,” “snow blowing around in the air,” and so one. This is different from, say, pigs, who are generally destined to become food and skin, regardless of gender. Horses, too, are more interchangeable than cattle - stallions are generally stronger than mares and nastier than geldings, but all of them are perfectly capable of being good mounts or draft animals. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/37 "2012-11-07T23:29:30Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Okay, now I’m confused. I was always taught that an _ox_ is a casdtrated bull – it’s the very definition of the word. (And apparently one that **Junx** was unaware of – until now). The Wikipedia article, hpowever, reads: > > “commonly”? > When the hell is an ox NOT castrated? If castration is not what makes a bull an ox, then what does the word “ox” mean? I think “commonly” refers to “as an adult” not “castrated” (i.e. some oxen may be rarely castrated as children). ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/38 "2012-11-08T07:16:26Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > cows > bulls > oxen > steers > heifers > calves > bullocks > bovines > bobby steers (I went to grade school with him!) > bollocks > buttocks > cattle > Bos > > what am I leaving out? You missed “beef,” which sometimes refers to the whole animal, especially when it’s ready for butchering, but more importantly you left out it’s fantastic plural, “beeves,” which I think deserves more frequent use. Beeves! ---
**Author:** ![Jinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/39 "2013-01-05T03:36:45Z")
Thanks for the wit and wisdom all! SD needs a “Like” button!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596/40 "2013-01-05T05:08:18Z")
So what’s a “gentleman cow”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-this-joke-funny-from-1776/639596.md?page=3)