# Why isn't Cosmo called "Sluts R Us"?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [December 28, 2002, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284 "2002-12-28T02:39:26Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/61 "2002-12-30T04:51:05Z")
So, \*\*JR Delerious \*\* didja ever get the swingin’ bachelor pad with the hi-fi?
(You forgot to mention Hi Karate Aftershave.)
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### Author:  [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/62 "2002-12-30T05:13:23Z")
[6 Questions So Sexy You’ll Have Him Begging for More](http://www.brunching.com/cosmoquiz.html)
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### Author:  [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/63 "2002-12-30T18:29:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by bluethree \*
> \*\*I’m surprised to hear so many people who hate Cosmo like Maxim, which I see as the exact counterpart to Cosmo. I won’t allow it in my house since reading the advice column (in Maxim) on how to trick and coerce your girlfriend into submitting to anal sex. \*\*
I guess people see the _Maxims_ and _FHM_’s as more tongue-in-cheek without extending the same benefit of the doubt to _Cosmo_. Seems silly to me too.
I bought a _Maxim_ to read on a long plane ride one time. It had an interview with Catherine Bell from that show _JAG_. I don’t know why they bothered asking her any questions, they could have used that space for more pictures of her in a bikini and been done with it. She didn’t have anything remotely interesting to say - of course that might have been due to the inanely stupidass questions they were asking her.
And then there was an article about how to talk your girlfriend into a threesome, and where to find women who are willing to participate in a threesome (actual hint: _Look for women with tattoos!_ Also, women dancing by themselves in a club are actually waiting to be asked to join you and your girlfriend for sex. I could see it being funny if I had been in a better mood.)
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### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/64 "2002-12-30T19:14:35Z")
What I love about Cosmo is the “_ **His** G-Spot! (It’s Not Where You Think It Is!)_” headline that appears at least twice a year. I like that they take time away from the “_Mundane and Unoriginal Sex Tips and Anecdotes_” and “_You’re Too Fat_” articles to tell their readers to stick a finger up the boyfriend’s ass. It just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
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### Author:  [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/65 "2002-12-30T19:33:51Z")
Cosmo is tiresome. They make assumptions about women that I don’t particularly care for.
However, I like some of the other women’s mags like Allure and Marie Claire. Allure is mostly makeup and fashion and Marie Claire has a lot of articles about women’s issues and such.
I used to like Details for men, but haven’t seen it in a while. Stuff and Maxim are pretty much the same, they make it seem like all men are pigs–or at least that’s what it seems like with their advice and articles and soft core porn. Waste of trees.
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### Author:  [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/66 "2002-12-30T19:45:58Z")
Maybe I’m just weird (OK, I’m definitely weird, but that’s another thread), but I _like_ Cosmo. I think most of you guys are taking it far too seriously. You can’t read it like it’s an instruction booklet.
It’s purely hilarious escapist fantasy, something like reading trashy novels (in which I also indulge once in a while). Hey, a girl can’t be an intellectual all the time! My other periodical subscription is \*Foreign Policy, \* so I hope you’ll cut me some slack…
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/67 "2002-12-30T20:00:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by stockton_
> \*\*We don’t call it cosmo here…
> We call it “300 pages of WHY MEN SUCK.”
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Neurotik \*
> \*\*I thought it was “300 pages of How to Suck a Man.” \*\*
Well, wouldn’t that create a vacuum? That would explain the liposuction…
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### Author:  [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/68 "2002-12-30T20:06:50Z")
Actually, it’s more like 225 pages of ads and 75 pages of filler.
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### Author:  [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/69 "2002-12-30T20:34:40Z")
A number of years ago, my women’s only bookclub branched out and started a co-ed bookclub. We’ve learned over the years that no one has time over the holidays for anything challenging, so our pick for co-ed bookclub was Cosmo.
It was much less trashy than any of us remembered. It had a not bad article on women under the Taliban (back when coverage on that was difficult to find).
Yeah, the cover was slutty, yeah, the advice was tired. And we might have managed to find the one issue of Cosmo that didn’t give you 12 NEW! Ways to Please Your Man. But it wasn’t as bad as any of us were expecting.
The thing the guys were most astounded by was the number of ads - especially for makeup.
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### Author:  [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/70 "2002-12-30T20:50:18Z")
Your book club read a magazine instead of a book? That’s strange.
That reminds me of my old roommate who used to say she was reading a book, when in fact, she would be reading a magazine. “Oh, I think I’ll just go read my book.” Bwahahahaha! That always cracked me up.
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/71 "2002-12-31T01:20:11Z")
Way back when I was in seventh grade, our math teacher — a quiet, gentle-mannered black gentleman in his 50’s who was shaped approximately like a Weeble — photocopied and handed out to the class a Cosmo Quiz.
Ten minutes later, he quickly gathered the copies, his face glowing in shame, upon realizing from the escalating giggles that one of the first half-dozen questions was, “Do you pee with the bathroom door open when your partner is home?” The rest of the quiz was equally inappropriate for a roomful of squirrelly seventh-graders.
There was never any justification offered for why he thought this might have been a good idea in the first place.
Just one of the more surreal episodes in my public-school career.
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### Author:  [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2002, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/72 "2002-12-31T03:44:14Z")
Then of course there was the “_Cosmo - Maxim_” crossover issue earlier this year. The editors of the two magazines supposedly sat down to try and get a treaty for the battle of the sexes. Fairly humorous. Although I do note that _Maxim_ made it a big deal in their mag, whereas the\* Cosmo\* girls buried it in their issue.
Hmmmmmm.
I used to enjoy reading _Cosmo_ because it was almost like intercepting messages from the “other side” during a war. As I have gotten older I realize I am not interested in women who actually think that way
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2002, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/73 "2002-12-31T15:13:41Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Dead Badger \*
> I love the way they always have “AT LAST - THE SEX ISSUE” on the front cover. Yeah, cos last month you did knitting.
Yeah, I remember cracking up when I saw that one in the checkout lane. “And this is different from your previous issues HOW??”
The weird thing is how _boring_ they make the sex stuff. I mean, with the hot-hot come-ons the articles have on the magazine cover, you’d expect at least some spice inside. But on those occasions when I’ve talked myself into actually opening up a Cosmo and reading the articles that go with the “14 ways to drive him wild in bed!” teasers, it’s been a snorefest.
I would think that women would find that game equally boring after a few rounds, but obviously some don’t.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by unclviny, **excepting bolded text** \*
> “how to catch and keep a man”, fuck us **, suck us** and feed us.
A minor, but essential, correction. 🙂
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### Author:  [@jeevmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeevmon)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2002, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/74 "2002-12-31T15:15:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by unclviny \*
> \*\*OK, I am goinog to put COSMO out of business, are you ready?
> “how to catch and keep a man”, fuck us and feed us.
>
> Everything else will sort its self out.
>
> unclviny \*\*
Or, to quote Dave Barry:
> [@](#):
>
> The problem, I think, is that Cosmopolitan is making this issue way more complicated than it actually is. I mean, we’re talking about MEN here. You don’t need rocket science to drive them wild in bed: All you need to do is to get in there with them. Or, just leave them alone for a while. Because men don’t need much. Using a complex, sophisticated technique to get a man excited is like preparing a gourmet French meal for a Labrador retriever.
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### Author:  [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/75 "2002-12-31T15:48:18Z")
Yeah, we read a magazine. Hey, it was over Christmas. We’ve also done “Favorite Poetry” read “A Brief History of Time” and “Le Morte de Arthur,” as well as “Immodest Acts,” “Backlash” and had “Children’s Book Month” where we all brought in a picture book and read aloud. We are an eclectic bunch.
Cosmo makes a nice discussion point when you are with a bunch of people who have read Backlash.
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### Author:  [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/76 "2002-12-31T15:51:27Z")
Yes, I could see where that would be an interesting discussion. I need a book club like that.
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### Author:  [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/77 "2002-12-31T16:59:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TVeblen \*
> \*\*Have you noticed that even parodies fall flat because they can’t exaggerate enough beyond the original? \*\*
Oh, I don’t know. My favorite Onion headline ever was, “Cosmo presents: Fattening up for Winter.”
Daniel
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [January 1, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/78 "2003-01-01T01:17:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \*
> \*\*So, \*\*JR Delerious \*\* didja ever get the swingin’ bachelor pad with the hi-fi?
> \*\*
Right, sure… OK, I did get a good stereo system. But by then I figured that if I set my sights lower, so instead of the Playmate I went after one of the gals in topless-only group shot from the “The Girls of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_” feature, my chances improved greatly 😉
OTOH I’m still waiting for any office temptresses trying to sleep their way to the top through me…
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### Author:  [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)
#### Post date: [January 1, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/79 "2003-01-01T01:37:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \*
> \*\*Hey, remember, they all play on people’s _insecurities_. In the commercial publishing world NOTHING plays better. And it’s not just Cosmo and Maxim. Playboy does it (Not getting girls? That’s because you’re doing what we said was cool LAST month, sucker. But this issue and you’ll find out what’s cool THIS month.), Ladies Home Journal does it (You’re house isn’t perfect? You’re a failure as a woman.), God alone knows Martha Stewart Living does it (see above and multiply), etc…
Couldn’t they all just have every sixth word be ‘fnord’? It would be a lot easier for them, and the content would likely improve. 😉
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### Author:  [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)
#### Post date: [January 1, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-cosmo-called-sluts-r-us/145284/80 "2003-01-01T04:30:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Chimera \*
> **RE: unclviny’s “fuck us and feed us” remark: Damn, but that’s so funny…because it’s TRUE!**
[slight hijack] On Madonna’s last Letterman appearance, Paul arranged for the house band to play a little-known ditty she had written as she came out. She was very surprised they were playing it and said; “That’s my song!”
When asked to name the song; she said; “I will not take the bait.”
Dave asked her what itwas about and she said; “It’s my instructions on how to be a good wife.”
The title? _Cook and Fuck_. [/hijack mercifully over]
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