# Why isn't this a thing? (Or is it?) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2019, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497 "2019-07-23T12:37:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2019, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/21 "2019-07-23T16:38:39Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Yesterday was a Monday. Everybody’s Monday is shit, mate. If that warrants a beer and a shoulder rub then Wednesdays would be three martinis and stealing third base. I’m down with that. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2019, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/22 "2019-07-23T17:05:24Z")
In the poker room at the local Casino, there are women who give shoulder massages right at the table while you are playing cards. I’d imagine it would be something like that. Although the same women surrounded by drunk guys who might expect more from a massage is probably a bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2019, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/23 "2019-07-23T17:10:54Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Although the same women surrounded by drunk guys who might expect more from a massage is probably a bad idea. Yeah, I think people have the wrong mental image of this bar. The “drunk guys who might expect more” are generally there with their wives. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2019, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/24 "2019-07-23T17:28:37Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > If your bar is offering massages (and hiring people to give them), I will guarantee that either your state, and/or your city, will view them as “practicing massage,” whether or not you feel that they are “therapeutic.” And, thus, if the state or the city require licensing for people (and businesses) offering massages, generally, they will insist that your bar comply with those licensing requirements. Perhaps it could be advertised as a “one minute shoulder rub - $2.00” and somehow word the signage to make it very clear this is clothes on, no privacy etc. ie “One minute shoulder rub right at your bar stool/while you drink - $2.00”. > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Most states regulate massage therapists, and require them to be licensed in order to practice massage therapy. [This page on a massage therapy site](https://www.abmp.com/abmp-blog/what-you-need-know-about-government-regulation-massage-and-bodywork) notes that 43 states have mandatory state licensing, but it also notes that many cities and towns may have additional licensing requirements (undoubtedly because they want to make sure that they are distinguishing between legitimate massage therapy and “massage” as a cover for sex work). > > It also notes that many municipalities may also require specific licensing for the business as well as the massage therapist(s), which is, again, almost undoubtedly a measure to prevent brothels setting themselves up as “massage parlors.” > > Disclosure: my sister is a licensed massage therapist in Wisconsin, and had to go through a two-year training program to meet the state’s requirements for a license. While some of that licensing is, no doubt, to help make sure the parlors are on the up and up, you’ll see similar things for many professions. In Wisconsin you also need a license to cut hair (the barber needs one as well as the business), tattoo, body piercing and all kinds of other stuff. I have to imagine that the jurisdiction wouldn’t be all that worried about someone giving (selling) shoulder rubs at a bar. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2019, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/25 "2019-07-23T17:58:37Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Yeah, I think people have the wrong mental image of this bar. The “drunk guys who might expect more” are generally there with their wives. Sorry, I didn’t mean your particular bar. Just the idea in general. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2019, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/26 "2019-07-23T18:03:30Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > I have to imagine that the jurisdiction wouldn’t be all that worried about someone giving (selling) shoulder rubs at a bar. Maybe, maybe not. I still suspect that it’ll be seen as a massage by the regulatory authorities, even if it’s clearly “on the up and up.” Even if you just call it a “one minute shoulder rub,” it’s still a (admittedly quick) massage. There’s only one way to be sure – the OP could contact the licensing authority which regulates massage therapy in his state, and ask if his idea would be required to be licensed. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2019, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/27 "2019-07-23T18:13:15Z")
It’s . . . fraught. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2019, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/28 "2019-07-23T18:23:30Z")
I’ve seen chair massages set up in various places, including at happy hours for bars. The last time I saw it was at the Marriott in Burlington, VT. IIRC, the massage was free, but tipping was expected. I think the hotel bar was paying the masseuse to be there. I hate massages, so I didn’t partake. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/29 "2019-07-24T00:20:05Z")
If that happened to me I’d scream and bounce off the ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/30 "2019-07-24T00:33:48Z")
I’m sorry…I’m stuck between “tip bumping” and “Kayaker’s Massage Barlour” As for unexpected neck/shoulder massage–the poor fool who grabs hold of me will soon find themselves holding my entire skin because I will have crawled out of it. I can barely shake hands with people, and that’s only because I can prepare myself for it. Noooo touchy! No touchy. No. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/31 "2019-07-24T02:47:54Z")
I think you have a great idea, and I’m a bit surprised that so many people are automatically going to the dark sleazy idea of a bar where it would be assumed to be a front for prostitution and/or men expecting more than a shoulder rub. The closest bar to me has a nicely lit bar area where I would normally go with my wife and probably see a neighbor or two. There are about 2,000 tv’s showing various sports, and a decent menu (I often get tomato soup and grilled cheese or a prime rib sandwich). There is also a larger area where it isn’t rare to see a kids soccer team and their parents celebrating after a tournament. There is also a small stage and another 9,000 tv’s. I can easily see a massage chair tucked somewhere for the “Monday Massage” or something much clever than I can come up with with a licensed massage therapist (fully clothed and in something like scrubs or other casual cloths) offering 5 to 10 minute chair massages. The first person who gets one and looks like they are in heaven will start a line for the chair quickly. You will have to figure out the financial arrangements like who buys the chair, do you rent the space for it, what does the house take, but I think you could make a good business proposition without all of the sleazy concerns others seem to have. ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/32 "2019-07-24T03:35:33Z")
Start with the basics, has anyone seen a massage chair (the electric kind) in a bar? If massages in a bar were a thing, someone somewhere would have a chair. People already nearly fall asleep in the chairs in other places. The likelihood of a drunk passing out in a massage chair are pretty high. Bars, like restaurants count on customer turnover to make their money. They don’t want you relaxed and nursing that $2.00 beer when there are others waiting for it. ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/33 "2019-07-24T05:22:39Z")
> [@lingyi](#): > > Start with the basics, has anyone seen a massage chair (the electric kind) in a bar? If massages in a bar were a thing, someone somewhere would have a chair. People already nearly fall asleep in the chairs in other places. The likelihood of a drunk passing out in a massage chair are pretty high. > > Bars, like restaurants count on customer turnover to make their money. They don’t want you relaxed and nursing that $2.00 beer when there are others waiting for it. Geez lingyi, check before posting! "They don’t want you relaxed and nursing that $2.00 beer when there are others waiting for it [your stool/chair]. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/34 "2019-07-24T05:31:42Z")
I’ve seen chair massage setups at the entrance to a hippie/natural/healthy grocery mart. It wasn’t, like, a cashier doing the neck & shoulder rubs; this was a trained masseuse and there was some brief disclaimer to sign (basically that it wouldn’t cure anything) so I guess the store contracted with a massage provider group. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/35 "2019-07-24T07:39:06Z")
Oddly enough, what the OP describes is actually a thing at a number of Manhattan strip clubs. They have girls on staff who go around and offer massages for $20 (equivalent to a lap dance). They aren’t strippers or wait staff either and the massages aren’t particularly “erotic”. ---
**Author:** ![ticker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@ticker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ticker)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/36 "2019-07-24T07:56:26Z")
A decade or so ago a friend of mine worked for an outfit that had masseurs roaming London nightspots offering what the OP describes. Probably a better business model than an individual bar employing their own staff. My friend has long since qualified in sports massage and works out of gyms, so I don’t know if that business is still going. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/37 "2019-07-24T11:24:18Z")
> [@lingyi](#): > > They don’t want you relaxed and nursing that $2.00 beer when there are others waiting for it. Try $7.00 craft beer. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/38 "2019-07-24T11:31:16Z")
> [@lingyi](#): > > Start with the basics, has anyone seen a massage chair (the electric kind) in a bar? If massages in a bar were a thing, someone somewhere would have a chair. If anyone wanted their bread sliced and in a bag, someone somewhere would sell sliced bread in a bag. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/39 "2019-07-24T11:35:33Z")
It’s already a thing at my bar. Lady comes in with a massage chair and sets up shop. $1 a minute. It should be noted this is a bar that caters to nightshifters. Bar opens up at 7am, and she usually gets there around 8am. Still though, the place gets pretty crowded on Wednesday and Saturday mornings (That’s the end of the week for nurses and manufacturing workers). ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2019, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497/40 "2019-07-24T12:09:15Z")
Bars open at 7am? That’s impressive! Where is this? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-isnt-this-a-thing-or-is-it/837497.md?page=3)