# Why Jesus is better than Santa **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 27, 2007, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379 "2007-12-27T15:03:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/41 "2007-12-27T23:04:27Z")
People who believe in Santa are rarely smug. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/42 "2007-12-27T23:10:26Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] People who believe in Santa are rarely smug. [/QUOTE] Except on Christmas morning after they’ve opened their gifts and found that they’ve gotten exactly what they’ve wanted. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2007, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/43 "2007-12-27T23:26:20Z")
[QUOTE=Siam Sam] Are we talking single combat? Because I think Santa could kick Jesus’ wimpy ass and win by a knock-out every time. [/QUOTE] I can just see that : “It’s MY holiday now, you skinny bastard !” - POW \* ---
**Author:** ![Rixlan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a183cd/32.png) [@Rixlan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rixlan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/44 "2007-12-28T01:12:47Z")
If Christians don’t like Santa Clause then they should have stolen someone elses holiday. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/45 "2007-12-28T01:18:46Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] The ones who did the nailing weren’t, but his followers think him dying on the cross was the best thing to ever happen to _them._ [/QUOTE] Except you then get the weird ones who get all angry about Jews being “Christ-killers” - but that was a good thing, right? Another point for Santa I guess. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/46 "2007-12-28T01:20:42Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] When you go to see Santa (at the “north pole” at the mall), he asks all about you. When you go to see Jesus(in any church), the talk is all about Jesus. Given this, who is the better host? [/QUOTE] Jesus’ host is thin, hard, and dry. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/47 "2007-12-28T01:47:58Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] I can just see that : “It’s MY holiday now, you skinny bastard !” - POW \* [/QUOTE] [It’s been done](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rud4ur6fwrA), and the result was a comedy empire. But what would Brian Boitano do? ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/48 "2007-12-28T02:05:26Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Santa fills your stockings with goodies… JESUS supplies all your needs. [/QUOTE] Maybe. But, Jesus really makes you work for it. He makes you pray and believe and go to church and there’s still no guarantee of getting your PS3. All you have to do is write a note to Santa and he’s got you covered. Santa rocks. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/49 "2007-12-28T02:19:27Z")
Santa lives to give toys to children and never lays on a guilt trip. Jesus died for your sins and he just never shuts the hell up about it. Santa gives. Jesus saves. Santa drives a cool sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. Jesus rides an ass. Santa makes a distinction between children who have been naughty or nice. Jesus thinks you’re all a filthy bunch of sinners. Repent! Santa leaves presents under your tree. Jesus just hangs around on it. Santa speaks every language. Jesus speaks Aramaic. I mean, who speaks Aramaic anymore? ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/50 "2007-12-28T03:13:18Z")
[QUOTE=DanBlather] Jesus’ host is thin, hard, and dry. [/QUOTE] You win. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/51 "2007-12-28T04:46:55Z")
We know when Santa’s coming back. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/52 "2007-12-28T05:34:25Z")
Christmas carols about Santa describe him making toys and giving to the children of the world. Christmas carols about Jesus describe him…being born. Fascinating. Santa has [defeated an evil wizard](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066327/), [conquered the martians](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058548/), and [assisted in saving Narnia](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0363771/). What kind of cool adventures did Jesus have? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/53 "2007-12-28T06:24:21Z")
When Santa got into trouble, he was helped out by the most [powerful force in the Universe](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Very_Special_Family_Guy_Freakin'_Christmas). No one helped out Jesus in his greatest moment of need. ---
**Author:** ![velocitri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ec9cab/32.png) [@velocitri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velocitri)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/54 "2007-12-28T08:55:20Z")
I think Jesus is better than Santa cuz he looks like a rock star… skinny, long hair and all… Loose the beard and hair, then Santa would look like homer simpson. But Santa is more influential, I think. There are many Santa impostors, but not that many Jesus impostors… I’d like to see Santa vs Elvis… vs Jesus too… that would be interesting. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/55 "2007-12-28T12:17:35Z")
Santa: chocolate, in His shape, wrapped in foil. Jesus: wafers, normally circular, taken with cheap wine, eaten in His name. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/56 "2007-12-28T12:22:26Z")
Santa’s helpers never fight in his house, with Jesus, [it’s apparently tradition.](http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/12/27/clashing.clergy.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview) > [@](#): > > Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests attacked each other with brooms and stones inside the Church of the Nativity as long-standing rivalries erupted in violence during holiday cleaning on Thursday. > > The basilica, built over the grotto in Bethlehem where Christians believe Jesus was born, is administered jointly by Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic authorities. > > Any perceived encroachment on one group’s turf can touch off vicious feuds. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/57 "2007-12-28T13:31:39Z")
\>Santa: chocolate, in His shape, wrapped in foil. Jesus: wafers, normally circular, taken with cheap wine, eaten in His name. You can get chocolate crosses, around Easter. While the ones I get don’t have a Jesus already on them, it’s pretty easy to carve Him on, in shallow relief. And guess what? It’s still easiest to start eating by biting the head off! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/58 "2007-12-28T14:49:36Z")
Jesus’ cookies = bland, white, tasteless Santa’s cookies = brown, crunchy goodness covered with sprinkles. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/59 "2007-12-28T14:59:11Z")
Jesus cookies [= death! :eek:](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0074/0074_01.asp) Santa cookies = Christmas! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379/60 "2007-12-28T18:16:51Z")
If you stop believing in Santa, nobody cares. There’s no such thing as the “anti-Santa”. Nobody claims that their version of Santa is better than your version of Santa. Nobody kills in Santa’s name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jesus-is-better-than-santa/431379.md?page=4)