# Why JRR Tolkien Is One of those Idiots Cashing in on 9/11 for Money.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 20, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000 "2002-05-20T21:27:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/1 "2002-05-20T21:27:21Z")
I got linked to this from a thread on Fathom, and I cannot believe that anybody actually started this petition, but: [read this](http://www.petitiononline.com/twotower/) Note that the disclaimer was posted by the Petitions Online group _after_ the original petition. Be sure to read some of the comments, to which [this](http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?twotower&1) is (hopefully) a link. ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_D\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/839c29/32.png) [@Jane\_D\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_D_oh)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/2 "2002-05-20T21:31:57Z")
This world is a scary place. The good news is that whoever started the petition has obviously lost interest. Sometimes short attention spans can work to our advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/3 "2002-05-20T21:32:44Z")
From the petition: “The title is clearly meant to refer to the attacks on the World Trade Center.” I guess Tolkien was like Nostradamus, predicting 9/11 in the title of his book like 50 years before the event. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/4 "2002-05-20T21:47:07Z")
**Polycarp** I agree with you 100%. This is the stuff that urban legends are made of. Two minor quibbles. 1. The title to your thread makes it sound like you actually agree me the morons who started the petition. (If made me click it, as I could not believe that you would have fallen for such a thing, which of course you did not). 2. I think this may have been pitted already (but I may be wrong, and it may be well worth 2 “pittings” for stupidity alone). 3. Hi Opal. _-me_ ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/5 "2002-05-20T21:53:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\ ***Polycarp** I agree with you 100%. This is the stuff that urban legends are made of. > > Two minor quibbles. 1. The title to your thread makes it sound like you actually agree me the morons who started the petition. (If made me click it, as I could not believe that you would have fallen for such a thing, which of course you did not). 2. I think this may have been pitted already (but I may be wrong, and it may be well worth 2 “pittings” for stupidity alone). 3. Hi Opal. > > _-me_ \*\* typo patrol: (a) in #1, me = with; and (b) in #1 (If = (it . Sorry, long day. . . . _-me_ :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Journeyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/779978/32.png) [@Journeyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Journeyman)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/6 "2002-05-20T22:01:14Z")
Human stupidity never ceases to amaze me. ---
**Author:** ![Journeyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/779978/32.png) [@Journeyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Journeyman)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/7 "2002-05-20T22:02:15Z")
Oog. Lest I be horribly misunderstood, let me clarify: The stupidity of this petition is what amazes me. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/8 "2002-05-20T23:30:00Z")
I particularly enjoyed some of the Signer 🙂 like: 1. Jay: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL-LICKERS! or 1. Dartollen: You cherry-picking arse-banditing fudge-packing shit-stabbing pooh-poking rectal-raiding meat-injecting anal-gremlin. or 1. Eric: Responding to 3393. Just what is a “homersexual”? or 1. greyskull: at least one of those olson twins should be exterminated. i mean, how dare they be twins!!! like duh!!! that is soooo offensive!!! To bad his petition has been suspended. I would have signed 4000 Osip: in regards to 3483 “doh!” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/9 "2002-05-20T23:52:50Z")
I’ve heard of people saying that Jane Austen plagarized-because _Emma_ was so similiar to _Clueless_. :rolleyes: Psst-morons-it’s the other way around! ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/10 "2002-05-20T23:58:10Z")
Sadly, that doesn’t surprise me at all. I knew it would be coming. Amazing, isn’t it, that Tolkien had the gall to mock our loss 30 years before the structures were even built? He and his minions must have had something to do with it. He conspired to have the towers built, then destroy them as a publicity stunt to generate book sales!!! The bastard! And even worse, is that Polycarp fell for it! 😉 I thought the thread was going to be serious until I saw who posted the thread: one of the few posters even more Tolkien-obsessed than I am. hahahahaha ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/11 "2002-05-21T00:21:09Z")
Ummm . . . Having been around geeks, fen, and other unsavory types all my life . . . And having been online for the better part of two decades now . . . And even though I like you all a lot . . . I believe that y’all are the ones who have been had. I am willing to bet heavily that the petition is a hoax, a pure troll in the tradition of some of the best. And damn if’n it didn’t get a reaction, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/12 "2002-05-21T00:34:17Z")
Some of my favorites: > [@](#): > > 1. Scott Johnson You guys are a bunch of ignorant, short-sighted, facist opportunists if you’re stupid enough to think that the title of the book IN ANY WAY refers to the horrible tragedy that was Sept. 11th. > > 2. Christine Brennan Please Please change this name to something else!!! [_sob_ how touching! -J\_C] > > 3. Jizzlobber PENIS•PENIS•… [redundancy] •PENIS•PENIS•PEN > > 4. not a signature **Catch yourself on you sad twats!!! Why are you trying to perepetuate this shameless fucking self-indulgence that is soooo American and makes the rest of us puke!!** [my personal fave. This crap makes me embarrassed to be an American - J\_C] > > 5. Rusty Shackelford I think we need to bulldoze that tower in Piza too. The leaning tower is clearly a symbol that Italians hate the victims of 9/11. > > 6. V0lk How could someone be so insensitive? There’s a special place in HELL for the people associated with this film. [HAH! - J\_C] > > 7. What the fuck is wrong with you assholes? The book was written over 50 years ago. Morons. > > 8. Jizzlobber PENIS•PENIS•…[our friend is back again]•PENIS•PEN > > 9. You Idiots Why dont we just publicly hang people who mention the tragedy while we’re at it > > 10. Steve Avery God, you people are freaking idiots… it’s the fucking name of the book… stop being such thin skinned idiots. > > 11. The Hon. Chouch Ou (R 'cket) EVEN IF the book was named long before the horrible attacks of 9/11 I think it would show great compassion of the makers of this film to indeed change its title or perhaps, keep the title but also run a little preface to the movie acknowleding and apologizing for what many allege to be a terrible coincidence. [sadly, this is probably what will happen] ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/13 "2002-05-21T01:03:28Z")
And I suppose it’s just a “coincidence” that the third book is named “Return of the King” and that the “king’s return” was made possible by the fall of the “two towers?” I suppose it’s _also_ a “coincidence” that the “return of the king” to Afghanistan was made possible by the fall of “two towers?” You people are _so_ naive. ---
**Author:** ![Hoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e68b1a/32.png) [@Hoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoe)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/14 "2002-05-21T01:37:44Z")
Here are some good ones: 3581. Mikey Listen up you fucks, whoever is stupid enough to think the name should be changed can eat my shit, then shit out their shit, then eat their shit thats made out of their shit and my shit. \m/ 1. Joey Michaels I think a good alternate title would be “Saruman’s Axis of Evil” 2. Sean Curtin Whoever this Tolkein guy is, he’s an insensitive ashole if he’s making a movie with a title like that. I’ll bet he’s not even American!! What gives him the right!!! 3. sympathetic uk Tolkien should be exumed, and buried again 4. Vi Scid I agree, the director Mr. Tolkien should immediately change the name for the respect of the people lost in the empire state building crash, the families of mr Trump will be hurt when they see this movie, making it would be wrong! 5. Osama Who the hell cares about you americans? Everyone hates you. Die all. 11/9 was the best thing ever happened to the world. DIE!!! 6. Janet Paige My birthday was on September 11th, but I have applied to the U.S. Census Bureau to have it changed to July 4th. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/15 "2002-05-21T01:43:07Z")
From the petitioner himself: > [@](#): > > 1. Kevin Klerck Why are you people getting irate about this petition? There are a few simple facts here: (1) The sequeal was only completed recently. Movie studios dont make movies unless they thing they’re make money off them; (2) Mr. Jackson named the sequal “The Two Towers” to capitalize on the 9/11 tragedy. (3) All this ranting about some “JR Tolkein” has nothing to do with the movie–they are only similarly named. If you have something to say to me, say it directly. You know where to e-mail me: [slashdotwidener@yahoo.com](mailto:slashdotwidener@yahoo.com). Screaming cowards don’t even use your real neams. Wow. I mean, holy crap, this guy just shrugs off a beat down with a clue-by-four like it was nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/16 "2002-05-21T01:48:45Z")
I’m with andros, I think it’s an old-fashioned troll. Quite a successful one too, I have to admire it. ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/17 "2002-05-21T01:57:28Z")
**waterj2** – You don’t get it. _ **He doesn’t know that LOTR is a book!** _ > [@](#): > > \*\*All this ranting about some “JR Tolkein” has nothing to do with the movie–they are only similarly named. \*\* From the petition: > [@](#): > > \*\*When I learned that there apparently was to be a sequel . . . \*\* Mr. Klerck thinks that that Jackson is to Lord of the Rings as Lucas is to Star Wars! BTW, what if it isn’t the petioner? Anyone could use that name to sign the petition, couldn’t they? Maybe someone’s setting Mr. Klerck up for an e-mail blizzard. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/18 "2002-05-21T04:18:50Z")
I understand that the guy is ignorant of LOTR, but if he made it through 3500 responses before posting that one, you’d think he might have figured it out. Of course, he just might be a troll. Really, the whole thing is bizarre and surreal in its utter idiocy on so many levels. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/19 "2002-05-21T04:53:25Z")
I remember I saw that petition months ago, and tried to sign “You people are so fucking stupid” in it. Didn’t go through, unfortunately. However, upon re-reading it, I am relieved to note that only about a third of the signers actually agree with the petition starter. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000/20 "2002-05-21T05:37:09Z")
A while back, there was a Cafe Society thread concerning the mystery of Tom Bombadillo’s true identity. Now, it is clear. Tom is Osama Bin Laden. I qoute from my Balantine edition of Fellowship- “Hey hol derry dol, kill Them all for Allah! Then they’ll all burn in Hell for the pork they swallowed. Oh ring ding a dell, ring ding a dillo! I’ll hide in cave with my fluffy pillow!” Thus Tom is Osama Bin Laden. The Fellowship are Al Quida operatives. The Nazgul are CIA/Massad agents. And Gollum, of course, is Lindh [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-jrr-tolkien-is-one-of-those-idiots-cashing-in-on-9-11-for-money/110000.md?page=2)