Everybody knows that the proper way to hang toilet paper is with the tail hanging down the front.
Well, everybody except Communists, of course. 
So, in my dorm, we have community latrines, and one of the things that’s required is that we keep the stalls stocked with toilet paper (supplied to us by the squadron every week). There’s one roll on one of those spring-loaded toilet paper rolls, and the other… get stuck on the coat hook on the door. 
Toilet paper belongs on the handle of the plunger. Like Alton Brown says, why buy a tool that can only do one job, when you can buy a cheaper tool that does double-duty?
Besides that, you can fit, like, three or four rolls on the plunger handle and the paper ends can go down the front, back, left, right, and in any combination of the above. No more arguments about which way the paper hangs, and you only have to replace the roll 25-33% of the time! Domestic bliss ensues!
Cheap, simple, uncomplicated, and there is no downside! I believe I win the thread.
Until your toilet clogs and overflows when, in a panic, you grab the plunger and dump the TP rolls on the floor where they instantly soak up twenty times their weight in water, turning into mush in the process.
Yeah, but how often does that happen?
I’ve instigated my share of toilet disasters in my time, and never is the panic so extreme that I lose my head and waste valuable TP.
But you can take the spring loaded thing hold it compressed, place light match on the end, (hey you got to light one anyway) and throw flaming death at any intruder.
Another vote here for the tail-in-front method of toilet paper installation. I find it easier to find the tail and regulate my TP dispensing volume when the tail’s in front. From a formal perspective (not that I do this), you are supposed to fold the tail corners into a triangular shape, which necessitates it hanging in front.
For those of you normal people who have wall-mounted TP dispensers, just be happy you don’t have the free-standing style, considering your bathroom, like mine, has the least square footage of any room in the house and the toilet is right next to the tub. What this means is that the thing is constantly being relocated based on the current room usage because there’s no good place for it for all usages. There’s no room for it between the toilet and vanity nor the toilet and tub, so it goes in front of the toilet in front of the tub for toilet business and is moved away from the tub (and toilet) for showering purposes – so as not to drip water on the paper when emerging from the shower to grab the towels from the rack directly above the usual home for said TP holder.
Further, since messing with the spring-loading mechanism is clearly much more trouble than its worth considering how fast my family goes through TP, the roll usually just sits on top of the cardboard from the last time someone did load the holder.
The worst part is if nobody replaces the spent roll at all, you must lift your dirty hiney from the seat and contort your body in order to reach into the vanity and extract a fresh roll. Or you just shout for someone to assist. “MOOOOMMMM!!! There’s no TP! Help!”
If I leave the package on the floor next to the toilet, the dog pees on it. Because he clearly knows what it’s for.
Oh, and I want one of those Japanese ones. (“Weird things people upload to Youtube” for $200, Alex.)
The tail goes down the front so you can see all the pretty flowers.