# Why many children and teens inherently cruel? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 10, 2017, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837 "2017-03-10T04:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/1 "2017-03-10T04:25:48Z")
You see a lot of stories about how awful children are to each other. There are so many examples of bullying, making fun of someone for being different in anyway, and in general being insensitive. Looking back, I myself can recall instances that I was mean or cruel as a kid as well. What causes this behavior? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/2 "2017-03-10T04:51:57Z")
Human nature is evil from birth. That’s it, really. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/3 "2017-03-10T04:53:15Z")
Kids are just stupid, incomplete people who may have not learned how to not be a dick yet. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/4 "2017-03-10T04:55:47Z")
Two factors come to mind 1. Parents want to control/dominate their kids, so kids learn dominerring behavior from their parents 2. Peer pressure. Kids at school try to emulate those who have power or influence. I believer most, nearly all kids are constitutionally inclined to be charitable and fair in dealings with others. To behave otherwise is learned. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/5 "2017-03-10T05:13:35Z")
My gut feeling is that SOME bullying behaviour is a throwback to our earlier times when the weak and feeble ‘runts’ of any animal group were weeded out by the stronger family members: this meant that any meager resources were available to a smaller pool, and the stronger prevailed. I’m not sure that this instinct has entirely disappeared in the 21st century. It might be that schoolyard bullies rule the playground now, the modern workplace is about shutting others out to one’s own advantage, and it’s also evident in the cyberworld, with even the likes of SDMB members trying to one-up other members in their cleverness and/or wit. IOW, we’re all bullies underneath. We’re all trying to get that small advantage in whichever field pertains at the time. And yeah, most of the time it doesn’t involve cruelty, but cruelty is defined by historical and cultural precepts anyway… ---
**Author:** ![UDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecae2f/32.png) [@UDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UDS)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/6 "2017-03-10T05:22:52Z")
Immaturity. Their capacity for empathy is not fully developed. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/7 "2017-03-10T05:56:42Z")
> [@UDS](#): > > Immaturity. Their capacity for empathy is not fully developed. I said that in post 3! OK, not in those words… ---
**Author:** ![emyjacob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7feea3/32.png) [@emyjacob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emyjacob)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/8 "2017-03-10T07:22:09Z")
Yeah rightly said, basically humans are cruel. Always inclined for violence. Once they approach puberity , teenage , ego starts building up. I believe its the most testing period for parents and those around( though , not always) ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/9 "2017-03-10T07:31:04Z")
Toddlers and younger are just selfish. Not evil. Their world view doesn’t include others as a priority yet. Well-adjusted teens are mostly kind. Unkind teens exist though, for a number of reasons, some of which we know, some we may never know. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/10 "2017-03-10T10:56:11Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Human nature is evil from birth. That’s it, really. No. I can’t agree at all. This sounds too much like people are bad and it takes religion to make someone good. Babies are “selfish” by nature. They don’t understand that others have needs. That changes in time as children develop more. It also takes times to learn empathy. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/11 "2017-03-10T11:56:38Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > No. I can’t agree at all. This sounds too much like people are bad and it takes religion to make someone good. nobody brought up religion until you did. it takes _discipline_. And sometimes, a kid needs to be _forced_ to understand his/her impact on other people before they get the idea that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that they can’t just do whatever they want to other people with no consequences. Some are never made to face the consequences of their actions, and some just never get it. and those are sociopaths. to the OP’s question, I remember too much about being a kid to ever want to have any of my own. ---
**Author:** ![femmejean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/0ea827/32.png) [@femmejean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/femmejean)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/12 "2017-03-10T11:58:51Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > nobody brought up religion until you did. > > it takes _discipline_. And sometimes, a kid needs to be _forced_ to understand his/her impact on other people before they get the idea that the world doesn’t revolve around them and that they can’t just do whatever they want to other people with no consequences. Some are never made to face the consequences of their actions, and some just never get it. and those are sociopaths. > > to the OP’s question, I remember too much about being a kid to ever want to have any of my own. Have you ever met a sociopathic kid? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/13 "2017-03-10T12:36:14Z")
Babies naturally behave like sociopaths but the vast majority of children learn empathy and sympathy, and I don’t think it’s solely dependent on “discipline,” as such, or religion. Relevant “This American Life” episode “Bad Baby” — [Bad Baby - This American Life](https://m.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/521/bad-baby) ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/14 "2017-03-10T12:51:57Z")
[According to at least one study](http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0023223), children have already began to form a concept of “fairness” by 15 months. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/15 "2017-03-10T13:13:51Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Babies are “selfish” by nature. They don’t understand that others have needs. Selfishness, a lack of consideration for the needs of others, is one thing. Cruelty, the desire to deliberately hurt others with no obvious material gain for oneself, is something else. I think the OP was talking about the latter. I think kids want to feel like they have some effect on the world, i.e. a sense of power. Some kids and adults achieve a sense of power by being creative: hobbies, charitable work, nurturing of relationships. Other kids and adults achieve a sense of power by being destructive: vandalism, disruption, and the deliberate infliction of physical/mental pain on those around them. Being destructive is a lot easier than being creative, especially when you’re a kid; kids have more limited physical/emotional/social skills and resources than adults. Either route provides the sense that you are a powerful person, able to influence the world around you as you see fit - but only the development of a conscience (which takes longer in some kids than in others) renders the latter route unpalatable. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/16 "2017-03-10T13:16:45Z")
Toddlers have empathy. Have you never been on YouTube? It’s infested with heartwarming videos of small children demonstrating empathy. There are lots of good answers here. I think they are all pieces of the puzzle. This isn’t going to be one of those questions with a single answer. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/17 "2017-03-10T13:40:14Z")
Some of my earliest memories of school 1st and 2nd grade involved kids who were either kind or unkind. I knew plenty of 6 year olds who displayed empathy and some who didn’t. I am not so sure the distribution changed much as they got older. I think they became better able to control impulses. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/18 "2017-03-10T13:47:17Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Human nature is evil from birth. That’s it, really. Well sort of. There’s also an altruistic side of human nature but immature humans are much more likely to exhibit their evil side especially without good examples set by society both locally in terms of their families and friends and the broader scale of the wide world they are exposed to. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/19 "2017-03-10T14:14:02Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Toddlers have empathy. Have you never been on YouTube? It’s infested with heartwarming videos of small children demonstrating empathy. Maybe they just haven’t grown power-hungry yet. 😃 Only kidding a little bit. Toddlers may be selfish from time to time, but they are rarely cruel to their cohorts. Bullying/vandalistic behavior doesn’t really begin until elementary school, and doesn’t really peak until middle school and/or high school. So what changes? Maybe a desire to feel powerful/influential; if a kid develops that desire before acquiring a conscience, then he goes through an asshole phase (and if the conscience never develops, then he’s an asshole for life). ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2017, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837/20 "2017-03-10T14:18:17Z")
As a guess, I’m sure competing for status within the sexual marketplace is a major factor. From what I recall, people weren’t really cruel until 6th grade, and much of the cruelty went away by 10th grade. People weren’t that bad by the end of high school and bullying disappeared by college. I’d guess it has something to do with trying to establish a pecking order to determine sexual options. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-many-children-and-teens-inherently-cruel/781837.md?page=2)