# Why must we perpetually ask dogs who's a good boy/girl? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 22, 2020, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288 "2020-05-22T14:16:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/1 "2020-05-22T14:16:32Z")
Why are we compelled to quiz dogs on the existence or identity of any nearby dogs who might be on good behavior? Does this occur in other cultures? Do different languages have variations on this theme? Why do we not interrogate other animals? I can’t think that the question has been put to horses very often, and they are quite trainable. Parrots, I imagine, may have some interesting responses! Poor doggies. Constantly bombarded with queries about who’s a good dog, and are you a good dog, who is yes who is. Must get exhausting. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/2 "2020-05-22T14:21:57Z")
[Did you ask your dog who’s a good boy today? Scientists say you should do it more often](https://www.technology.org/2018/03/08/did-you-ask-your-dog-whos-a-good-boy-today-scientists-say-you-should-do-it-more-often/) > [@](#): > > It seems like dog’s attention span is greater when the person uses dog-directed speech containing phrases such as ‘you’re a good dog’, and ‘shall we go for a walk?’ and so on. Dogs generally listen to people more and want to interact physically when they hear such language. Scientists found that it is both high-pitched voice and contents of these words that dogs are interested in. Alex Benjamin, one of the leaders of the study, said: “When we mixed-up the two types of speech and content, the dogs showed no preference for one speaker over the other. This suggests that adult dogs need to hear dog-relevant words spoken in a high-pitched emotional voice in order to find it relevant”. > > Not only it is interesting to know this, but this is useful for pet owners and professional vets. In order to connect with a dog better one has to use “dog speech”, which dogs seem to enjoy so much. It soothes them and makes them want to interact with person more. So if you have a dog, just go and ask him who’s a good boy, do it now. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/3 "2020-05-22T16:01:28Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Poor doggies. Constantly bombarded with queries about who’s a good dog, and are you a good dog, who is yes who is. Must get exhausting. It’s the sheer _uncertainty_ that is so draining. Every day human does eventually reassure you that yes, they know it’s _you_ who’s the good dog. But then they just seem to forget, and the next day the question is asked again, in an endless cycle of uncertainty. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/4 "2020-05-22T16:12:46Z")
['You were the best."](https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/7tnaxg/death_and_the_dog/) I think it is because that, while dogs do understand some words, they aren’t geniuses. Using the same words is reassuring. They know what “walk” means, and “treat”, of that there is no doubt.But do they really know what “good boy” means? Do they do value judgements? No, but they do know it makes them feel good when you look them in the eye and make those sounds. And why not? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/5 "2020-05-22T16:15:50Z")
Interesting cite, **Johnny L.A.**. But one must wonder, is the “dog language” tone of voice inherently more pleasing to dogs, or is it more pleasing because they’ve learned from experience that that tone of voice is often used with praise? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/6 "2020-05-22T16:19:17Z")
I tell my cat that he’s a good boy at least once a day. Why? Because his goodness surprises me. He could totally destroy both me and my house if he wanted to, but never does. The worse thing he does is poop right outside of he cat box and bug me for food an hour before dinner time. So I compliment him as much as I can so that he’ll keep up the good work. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/7 "2020-05-22T16:20:33Z")
I think it’s just a way to frame and build the relationship with your pup. Compare and contrast: 1. my jerk brother in law who is immature and full of toxic masculinity that makes him compelled to always be saying negative things. He can’t seem to be kind, but instead he tells his daughter she looks like crap or he’ll beat her or other awful things that she (sort of) knows isn’t true. He does this with his dog, too. Yelling and calling the dog stupid and such. The dog cowers in fear and obeys out of fear. 2. I am always calling my dogs sugary names like sweetheart and puppy love. And yes, “who’s a pretty girl” and “who’s a good boy”. I praise them for doing normal, doggy things that they’d do anyway whether I was there or not, like peeing when we’re on a walk. I praise them for coming when I call, or coming in the door when I open it. There’s very little that I yell or scold them for. They don’t fear me. They’re calm and happy to be around me and I believe they love me. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/8 "2020-05-22T16:49:56Z")
I made a bank deposit yesterday via the drive-thru. I had our 3 dogs with me and they were barking a bit. When the teller finished and was going to send out my receipt, she asked if my dog’s would like treats (cheap biscuits). I replied, “no thank you, save them for the good dogs”.🙂 She laughed. In reality, I did not want the dog biscuits because my dogs won’t eat cheap treats. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/9 "2020-05-22T17:40:47Z")
Dogs are social animals. They want and need constant reassurance of their membership in the pack. Humans express this by verbal means. So, yes, dogs do like being perpetually asked if they are a good boy. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/10 "2020-05-22T17:45:46Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Why do we not interrogate other animals? We interrogate cats about their personal appearance rather than their morals. “Who’s a pretty kitty?” This is because feline standards of morality won’t bear close scrutiny, and cats couldn’t care less what we think of their morals anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/11 "2020-05-22T18:00:45Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > We interrogate cats about their personal appearance rather than their morals. “Who’s a pretty kitty?” > > This is because feline standards of morality won’t bear close scrutiny, and cats couldn’t care less what we think of their morals anyway. This is absolutely true. You don’t want to dwell on what’s happening in a cat’s brain. I don’t think cat’s are evil, they are (compared to dogs) equivalent to sociopaths where the morality of good/bad simply doesn’t figure into their motivations. As William Munny says to Little Bill, “Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.” ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/12 "2020-05-22T18:32:06Z")
I agree with what’s been said about cats. I don’t bother asking my cats if they are good. They don’t give a fuck. I TELL each of them that she is the “best kitty in the WHOLE WORLD” (not when they’re in the same room together), and they do not kill me in my sleep. It’s a good deal. I don’t tell my dog that she’s good girl; I tell her she is the SWEETEST DOG in the whole world, 'cause her name is Sweetie. 🙂 Thus we all live in harmony. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/13 "2020-05-22T18:41:41Z")
I never ask my doggies “who’s a good boy/girl?” I TELL them! My boy is very anxious, I believe he would have a panic attack trying to decide if he really is good or not, and if maybe there’s a wrong answer to the question. And my girl would just lie. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/14 "2020-05-22T19:04:13Z")
I think the way Family Guy semi-anthropomorphizes Brian the dog is utterly brilliant. Most of the time and in most ways he acts completely like a human, and is treated like a human. But then there are just a few core dog behaviors that randomly crop up, like when he see a squirrel, or when the question of whether he’s “good” arises and he starts getting anxious and his tail wags. (Also when somebody vomits on the floor.) ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/15 "2020-05-22T19:10:49Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > We interrogate cats about their personal appearance rather than their morals. “Who’s a pretty kitty?” > > This is because feline standards of morality won’t bear close scrutiny, and cats couldn’t care less what we think of their morals anyway. I wonder if it’s also because we tend to think of cats as feminine and dogs as masculine? Kind of like how we tend to tell boys they are smart or brave, and girls they are pretty. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/16 "2020-05-22T19:18:10Z")
I wanna say it’s because “pretty” and “kitty” rhyme … but knowing how many grown-ass adults think all dogs are boys & all cats are girls, I fear the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/17 "2020-05-22T19:20:33Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Interesting cite, **Johnny L.A.**. But one must wonder, is the “dog language” tone of voice inherently more pleasing to dogs, or is it more pleasing because they’ve learned from experience that that tone of voice is often used with praise? I was lazy, and eager to get back to work; so I grabbed a link and pasted relevant text. What was actually going through my head when I read the OP was this: > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Dogs are social animals. They want and need constant reassurance of their membership in the pack. Humans express this by verbal means. So, yes, dogs do like being perpetually asked if they are a good boy. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/18 "2020-05-22T19:36:21Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Why are we compelled to quiz dogs on the existence or identity of any nearby dogs who might be on good behavior? How would we know if we don’t? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/19 "2020-05-22T19:37:40Z")
(But seriously, here in Argentina we don’t ask them anything, (except when imitating behavior we see in foreign movies), we just tell them they are good, they are pretty and they are the best dogs) ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288/20 "2020-05-22T19:37:30Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > I think the way Family Guy semi-anthropomorphizes Brian the dog is utterly brilliant. Most of the time and in most ways he acts completely like a human, and is treated like a human. But then there are just a few core dog behaviors that randomly crop up, like when he see a squirrel, or when the question of whether he’s “good” arises and he starts getting anxious and his tail wags. (Also when somebody vomits on the floor.) I love Mr. Peanutbutter on Bojack Horseman for the same reason. Also, he has a more dog-like personality than Brian Griffin. Mr. Peanutbutter is enthusiastic about everything, and loves everybody. Except the mail man. And that other dog in the mirror. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-must-we-perpetually-ask-dogs-whos-a-good-boy-girl/854288.md?page=2)