# Why no gay men making out in shows like Grays Anatomy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 25, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134 "2016-04-25T23:06:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2016, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/21 "2016-05-01T20:44:45Z")
It’s merely the ultimate double standard. And it’s not just prejudiced ‘bible-thumpers’, the vast majority of straight men find two girls making out the hottest thing ever, but two guys the grossest thing ever. This is purely anecdotal of course, but every girl I’ve asked about this has said they feel the same as guys do. That is, they either like or don’t mind lesbian scenes but none of them liked seeing two guys. Given the examples listed above I’d say that it _has_ become much more acceptable. I remember in the 90s some TV show made a big deal about a ‘lesbian kiss’ in prime time. So Howard Stern went on Leno (the Leno-Letterman feud was still big news) and first had two hot girls kiss on camera, then two hot guys. They showed the girls but cut the shot of the guys kissing. I remember seeing the old 80s movie _Making Love_ in the theater (I was hoping Kate Jackson would get naked) and it has a scene with the two male leads making out. [Even though the scene is very dark](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gStWv0WETc8) an older couple sitting in front of us were still so grossed out they got up and left\*!\* ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2016, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/22 "2016-05-01T21:06:03Z")
> [@Hail\_Ants](#): > > This is purely anecdotal of course, but every girl I’ve asked about this has said they feel the same as guys do. That is, they either like or don’t mind lesbian scenes but none of them liked seeing two guys. You must know very different women than I do. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2016, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/23 "2016-05-02T01:12:49Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > You must know very different women than I do. I Googled ‘all women’ a Google autocompleted to[this page.](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=all%20women%20are%20bisexual) ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2016, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/24 "2016-05-02T03:12:15Z")
> [@chacoguy](#): > > I Googled ‘all women’ a Google autocompleted to[this page.](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=all%20women%20are%20bisexual) It might be more relevant to Google who’s writing (and reading) all the m/m fanfiction on the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2016, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/25 "2016-05-02T03:58:08Z")
> [@SpoilerVirgin](#): > > …daytime may be more willing to show intimacy among gay men because the audience is primarily female… Evening TV viewership is primarily female too, though (especially Grey’s Anatomy, which started this thread). ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2016, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/26 "2016-05-02T05:14:58Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Evening TV viewership is primarily female too, though (especially Grey’s Anatomy, which started this thread). GA is probably a bad example to use. In addition to being a show that draws a [mainly female audience](http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/abc-greys-anatomy-ratings-renaissance-in-season-12-1201757424/) it is a show ABOUT women. The stories are about women doctors and their trials and tribulations. Most of the characters are women. Just watch an episode with this in mind and notice that the male characters are mostly props. Their function is to provide romantic storylines for the straight women and also to provide obstacles and problems in the women’s lives that the women then have to sort out. Look at the two recent episodes where Miranda’s husband seems to be cutting people open randomly. That story is not about him, it’s about what the newly-appointed chief of surgery Miranda is going to do about it and how it will affect her marriage. You can cite an occasional episode that has a segment featuring the male characters, but they are few and far between. So they can’t waste any time on a relationship that doesn’t involve the women. And they can’t remove one of the few male characters from the available mating pool when they want to shake things up. (Apparently, no one on the show is able to sustain a long-term relationship unless it’s with another hospital employee.) Asking why GA doesn’t have gay male characters is kind of like asking why The L Word or Housewives of New Jersey doesn’t have gay male lead characters. It just wouldn’t work. Shonda Rhimes has worked gay male characters into her other shows where they would work better. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2016, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/27 "2016-05-02T06:58:51Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > Heck, beyond that, there was in the past, and presumably still exists, a segment of straight-ish guys who seem to have an aversion to thinking of _any_ male sexuality other than their own. I remember when Penthouse started showing erect penises, and the letters to the editor were indignant that they’d show that. Never mind the fact that they’d been presenting close-ups just short of a well-lit gynecological manual\* for ages. Knowledge that one or two penises might be erect from seeing the same thing in real life that they were seeing in simulacrum was enough to remind them that the might be \ _a little bit gay_. I don’t think that has anything to do with thinking you might be gay, but pretty much the opposite. A penis is an boner killer for a whole lot of men. And, even if it’s not, seeing one much bigger than yours can make you feel inadequate, and that can also be a boner killer. Sure, Penthouse doesn’t have to appeal only to these men, but I understand being upset when that changes–when your go-to wank material may now no longer be safe to just leaf through. Of course, the actual complaints may have been homophobic. I just don’t like the idea that not wanting penises in you’re secretly worried about being gay. It’s not the same thing as getting upset at Pornhub for the same thing, where there’s enough content for everyone but the most niche fetishes. And it’s definitely not the same thing as not wanting to see gay guys actually being gay in stuff that isn’t wank material. I may not like penises in my porn, but I oo and ah when gay couples get together like anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2016, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/28 "2016-05-02T12:56:40Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > And it’s definitely not the same thing as not wanting to see gay guys actually being gay in stuff that isn’t wank material. I may not like penises in my porn, but I oo and ah when gay couples get together like anyone else. Hmm, perhaps I went a bit far in extrapolating why some men seem very adverse to seeing a penis in porno. There can be other reasons besides fearing your own latent homosexuality, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2016, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/29 "2016-05-02T13:13:39Z")
There’s been some guy-on-guy smooching and grabbing on FX’s _Tyrant_ and USA’s _Political Animals_. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2016, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134/30 "2016-05-03T00:07:11Z")
It was on HBO, but Six Feet Under had Michael and David. When I suggested Six Feet Under to someone he said “I don’t want to watch guys kissing\*”. Honestly, I think that’s what it comes down to. I don’t think you have to overthink it any more than that. \*To add some humor to that conversation after he said “I don’t want to watch guys kissing” someone else who hadn’t seen the show, but knew a little about it, quickly cut in with “Kissing…the dead people?”. We both looked at her kinda quizzically and said “No, each other”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-gay-men-making-out-in-shows-like-grays-anatomy/753134.md?page=1)