# Why no strip mall ninja schools? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 12, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617 "2012-04-12T23:37:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Yarster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7c8e57/32.png) [@Yarster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yarster)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/21 "2012-04-13T14:35:30Z")
I can’t imagine the insurance is an issue any more so than any other martial art, If you have kids being thrown to the ground, someone is just as likely to land wrong and dislocate a shoulder as they are to get hurt when a special “soft” throwing star is thrown at their head while they are wearing a protective helmet. Like anything else, you would eliminate all the very dangerous jumping portions and focus on improvising weapons, quick takedown and escape, and other ‘dirty’ fighting techniques that you associate with the ninja. Since ninjas are so “secret” anyway, I would think you could develop your own curriculum and have it certified by a self created “ninja approval committee” as gospel. You could tailor it to the age of the kids taking the class to make it sufficiently hard, but not undoable since we now live in an era where “everyone gets a trophy to build their self-esteem”. I can’t thnk of a better way to build up confidence in a kid while they learn something they otherwise think is cool. Who wants to play soccer when you could join the elite Ninja Academy! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/22 "2012-04-13T14:37:06Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > [Bunraku](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV938f46Wpg) (or [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEUQNvn8EJQ)) Kabuki, actually. The black outfits of bunraku puppeteers serves the same ‘ignore this guy’ purpose, but a puppeteer wouldn’t burst into the scene as a character, because they’re not puppets. A kabuki actor however, could dress as though he’s a stage hand (and thus not to be paid attention to) until the moment when his character magically appears out of nowhere, and aside from the ‘person who doesn’t exist’ becoming part of the action, it’d be no different than any other play. Edit - And I have heard of one story of a real ninja actually wearing the black pyjamas while doing his job - but that was deliberately to draw attention to himself to act as a diversion for a compatriot who was doing the more standard ninja thing of looking like he was supposed to be there. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/23 "2012-04-13T14:40:38Z")
I just came here to say that “Strip Mall Ninja” would be a good band name. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/24 "2012-04-13T14:44:41Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I just came here to say that “Strip Mall Ninja” would be a good band name. but a terrible movie… ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/25 "2012-04-13T15:17:22Z")
Not a strip mall but there is a [Ninja school that made the news](http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/men-in-black-are-the-white-knights-of-the-night-20100520-vfom.html) around the corner from my place. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/26 "2012-04-13T15:26:21Z")
When I first saw videos of Parkour, my first thought was “that explains ninjas!” If I wanted to train to be a ninja, that’s where I’d start. After all, if you can access areas that nobody in their right mind would think are accessible, and escape from somwhere from which escape seems impossible, you’re pretty darn ninja-like. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/27 "2012-04-13T16:18:01Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > but a terrible movie… Didn’t Pauly Shore… ? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/28 "2012-04-13T18:39:29Z")
The real problem is that all the belts are black belts. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/29 "2012-04-13T19:54:27Z")
I read that wrong, I was wondering why there would be schools that teach Mall Ninjas to strip. And yes, [Mall Ninjas do exist](http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/), at least on the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/30 "2012-04-13T20:08:29Z")
You can’t have anyone use real weapons for liability’s sake. You’ll have to teach them to use their [imagination](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw)… ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/31 "2012-04-13T21:55:18Z")
> [@psychonaut](#): > > Looks like a run-of-the-mill fencing and swordplay school to me. Where are the classes in socage, serjeanty, enfeoffment, frankalmoigne, and pimp tenure? Here’s [Knight camp](http://www.academieduello.com/school/programs/youth-classes/knight-camp/introduction-to-knight-camp). Pimp camp I can’t find, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/32 "2012-04-13T22:00:47Z")
NM ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/33 "2012-04-13T23:37:10Z")
This “ninja costume derived from artistic convention” is great stuff! I love it! There ought to be a field of study dedicated to occasions where ‘life imitates art’. My ninja info comes firstly from James Clavell’s “Shogun”, and then from movies and graphic novels. While I will not claim these as reliable sources, I find my that the Clavell novel mostly informs my emotional reaction to ninjas: that while effective, they are sneaky and underhanded and beyond the pale- not nice people at all. As a consequence, I’ve always had major difficulties swallowing movies with ‘good guy’ ninjas (that is excepting the TNMT- love those guys!). ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/34 "2012-04-13T23:42:19Z")
In addition to the ninja schools lets also have a few more peace shops. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/35 "2012-04-13T23:43:34Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Here’s [Knight camp](http://www.academieduello.com/school/programs/youth-classes/knight-camp/introduction-to-knight-camp). Pimp camp I can’t find, sorry. Across the street and to the left: [http://www.pimpsandhoessociety.org.uk/pimpology](http://www.pimpsandhoessociety.org.uk/pimpology) > [@](#): > > Look… you can’t have all the beauty and none of the booty. Like lazy-ass Ho’s or the damn Po-Po. Just when yo spot starts to make a knot, “One-Times” there to kill the whole plot. You gotta deal with the strung and the spun… and believe me that ain’t no fun. But the worst is the time in a cell, cuz you be mad as hell when you ain’t got no bail. There’s even an online test! ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/36 "2012-04-13T23:51:04Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Kenjutsu is more precisely the study and practice of fighting with a katana. The contrast is to kendo, which is also studies katana combat, but is a little more stylized, like modern-day fencing is to actual longsword combat. Kenjutsu is (or at least claims to be) truer to the old style samurai sword training. With respect… The art and practice of Kendo is a simulation of sword combat in which the combatants are in padded gear and using shinai [shin nye …phonetically spelling out Japanese will be a fun exercise here], which are (for the sake of this post) straight substitutes for swords made of split bamboo. All practitioners use shinai, but don’t be fooled; a skilled Kendo practitioner can still deliver deadly blows. Kendo practitioners begin with the two facing each other and pointing their shinai at each other. In contrast, there is another art called Iaido\* [Ee-aye-dough] which was developed to exploit the curve and the new (at the time) manner of wearing the samurai sword. Beginning Iaido students will start with a wooden sword (bokken [bow-ken] or Iai-nugi [Ee-eye New-ghi] or bok-to [boke toe] depending on your regional term for the chunk of wood whittled down to match the weight, dimensions, and curvature of the katana. Students who advance enough will eventually use a metal sword. Zinc-aluminum is common, particularly in Japan, because the widespread ownership of sharpened (sharpen-able) katana was outlawed after WWII.\*\* Outside of Japan, there are some of us who use real sharpened steel. Unlike Kendo, the Iai practitioner begins (and often finishes) with the sword in the scabbard. Drawing and cutting are emphasized, and a facet of the art is the demonstrable ability to deliver a clean cut. I’ll leave the details of that to vivid and twisted imaginations – or those who are interested enough to go research more on The Net. I would argue (respectfully, of course) that Iaido/Iai-jutsu is closer to “katana-usage” than Kendo/Kenjutsu. As for the “ninja school in the local mall” idea: If a major part of the ninjutsu culture is about covert operations, wouldn’t a storefront operation be counterproductive? OR Maybe they’re there and you don’t know it. Do you really think [Edible Arrangements](http://www.theonion.com/articles/continued-existence-of-edible-arrangements-disprov,19856/)makes enough money to keep a storefront going throughout the year? –G! Muso Jikiden Eishin-Ryu Iai-jutsu A swordsman sees with his eyes A samurai sees with his heart \*There are those who refer to the same art as Batto-jutsu; there are those who consider Iaido/Iai-jutsu and Batto-jutsu to be completely different arts. \*\*The Japanese art of sword-making is limited to a select few artisans. They are limited to a small yearly quota of real steel blades, for the sake of preserving the art form. Such blades are extremely expensive. I think they’re typically sold to collectors outside of Japan. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/37 "2012-04-13T23:57:50Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > [Bunraku](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV938f46Wpg) (or [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEUQNvn8EJQ)) or [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgM11RtGjeI). ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/38 "2012-04-14T00:44:50Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > When I was 15 I started taking lessons at a ninjitsu dojo a friend located precisely because we thought being a ninja would be really cool. We were interested in trying martial arts and when we discovered that ninjitsu was really something you could learn we were immediately sold on it. > > I don’t think it’s well respected by other martial artists, but I don’t see what that has to do with opening a location at a strip mall and attracting neighborhood kids. So basically I don’t have an answer for **Yarster** - I think it’d be a great way to draw in business. > > By the by, my ninjutsu dojo was in the guy’s barn and almost everybody in class was 30+. Nobody had any interest in martial art as a sport, they were all very interested in it as a practial self defense. Most of what we did was joint locks and other pain based techniques… I don’t think they ever called them pressure points but I forget the word they’d use. > > We occasionally did work with knife fighting but it was very self defense based; the primary point of the lesson was that you were likely to get all cut up and might die but if you have no chance here’s your best ninja technique to get your assailants knife away, etc. > > We did the same thing with guns once, but obviously that was general ninja technique applied to a handgun, not the ancient 1000 year old ninja technique for dealing with pistols. Sorry. If you didn’t learn Shadow Clone jutsu it wasn’t real ninjutsu. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/39 "2012-04-14T01:23:03Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > Maybe they’re there and you don’t know it. Do you really think [Edible Arrangements](http://www.theonion.com/articles/continued-existence-of-edible-arrangements-disprov,19856/)makes enough money to keep a storefront going throughout the year? Huh. And here I always thought that’s how Radio Shack stayed in business. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617/40 "2012-04-14T03:22:14Z")
> [@Grestarian](#): > > With respect… > > The art and practice of Kendo is a simulation of sword combat in which the combatants are in padded gear and using shinai [shin nye …phonetically spelling out Japanese will be a fun exercise here], which are (for the sake of this post) straight substitutes for swords made of split bamboo. All practitioners use shinai, but don’t be fooled; a skilled Kendo practitioner can still deliver deadly blows. Kendo practitioners begin with the two facing each other and pointing their shinai at each other. > > In contrast, there is another art called Iaido\* [Ee-aye-dough] which was developed to exploit the curve and the new (at the time) manner of wearing the samurai sword. Beginning Iaido students will start with a wooden sword (bokken [bow-ken] or Iai-nugi [Ee-eye New-ghi] or bok-to [boke toe] depending on your regional term for the chunk of wood whittled down to match the weight, dimensions, and curvature of the katana. Students who advance enough will eventually use a metal sword. Zinc-aluminum is common, particularly in Japan, because the widespread ownership of sharpened (sharpen-able) katana was outlawed after WWII.\*\* Outside of Japan, there are some of us who use real sharpened steel. Unlike Kendo, the Iai practitioner begins (and often finishes) with the sword in the scabbard. Drawing and cutting are emphasized, and a facet of the art is the demonstrable ability to deliver a clean cut. I’ll leave the details of that to vivid and twisted imaginations – or those who are interested enough to go research more on The Net. > > I would argue (respectfully, of course) that Iaido/Iai-jutsu is closer to “katana-usage” than Kendo/Kenjutsu. I’m not very knowledgeable about the topic. My point was mainly that kenjutsu is not study of how to be a samurai, it is a martial art involving a simulated katana. Historical samurai training would involve sword training as well as training in other weapons and unarmed combat, in addition to dozens of other things including, very likely, tea ceremony. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-no-strip-mall-ninja-schools/618617.md?page=3)