# Why not "no flaming of member in the PIT"? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 1, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417 "2004-12-01T00:32:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/21 "2004-12-01T08:36:50Z")
> [@ava](#): > > The Pit is the best part of this board! Maybe it’s just me, but reading pit threads always cracks me up. I love the personal flames the best as long as they don’t get too personal. (although sometimes that’s fun too!) It’s great to see people rip the hell out of each other in one thread and then joke around in the next. Maybe it’s just the type of people I hang out with, but I think the best type of friendships are when you can tell your buddy “fuck off and die” and he responds “kiss my ass” and then you go out together for beers or something. It makes life a lot more interesting. > > Oh, and, I’ve never flamed and probably never will flame anyone on these boards in complete seriousness. So fuck off, bitches. Lick my balls, fucker! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/22 "2004-12-01T14:51:17Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Well, I disagree. It serves no “useful purpose”. Really, what good does it do to call another member an asshole? I really don’t agree that all Pit threads serve to do nothing more than call people an asshole. I haven’t been Pitted yet (thankfully!) so I can’t speak from experience, but I know other people who have learned from their Pitting. They begin to think, “all these people disagree with me, perhaps I should at least rethink what I’ve said.” Or they don’t realize what they said could possibly be that offensive, and it brings it home to them. And it gives the mad party a chance to vent, and get a response back from the Pittee. ---
**Author:** ![Satyagrahi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Satyagrahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satyagrahi)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/23 "2004-12-01T18:13:03Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Let’s go back to pitting Bill Gates, your landlord, and GWB, OK? 😃 But only if they’re not members? I know for a fact that my landlord is a member and I have a niggling little suspicion that GWB is, too. Can you guess what his username is? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/24 "2004-12-01T19:33:12Z")
> [@Satyagrahi](#): > > But only if they’re not members? > > I know for a fact that my landlord is a member and I have a niggling little suspicion that GWB is, too. Can you guess what his username is? 😉 Well, I _would_ have guessed **Wildest Bill**. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/25 "2004-12-01T19:34:13Z")
If flaming members is outlawed, only outlaws will have flaming members. (no, that’s not it…) If we’re not allowed to have flaming members… nah, the equality groups would sue. (no… not right either) Sorry, have to keep it. I’m all confused over here. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/26 "2004-12-01T19:42:25Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > There have been a few occasions where a member, properly Pitted, changed their attitude and behavior and became better board members. . Cites? ---
**Author:** ![byomtoob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@byomtoob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/byomtoob)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/27 "2004-12-01T19:59:34Z")
My personal opinion is that flaming another member (though permitted) is an inherent violation of the “Don’t be a jerk” rule. Could someone explain to me how you could flame someone without being a jerk? They clearly contradict each other. At least in fairness, the “don’t be a jerk rule” should be changed to read “don’t be a jerk unless you’re flaming someone in the pit”. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/28 "2004-12-01T20:47:13Z")
> [@byomtoob](#): > > My personal opinion is that flaming another member (though permitted) is an inherent violation of the “Don’t be a jerk” rule. > > Could someone explain to me how you could flame someone without being a jerk? > > They clearly contradict each other. At least in fairness, the “don’t be a jerk rule” should be changed to read “don’t be a jerk unless you’re flaming someone in the pit”. AFAIK the don’t be a jerk rule is intentionally broad so the mods and admins may interpret it at their discretion. Obviously in The Pit the rule is relaxed a bit, but it still applies. For example, if someone were to go off and write a half dozen unwarranted Pittings of fellow members within a week, a mod would probably come by and slap that person down. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/29 "2004-12-01T21:18:35Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Lick my balls, fucker! 😉 I feel used. I thought that _we_ had something [special.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=228254)😛 And the day they take member flames off of this board will be a sad one for sure. [announcer voice] This just in **Diogenes the Cynic** flamed his memeber in the pit. Hospital reports third degree burns over 0.0000006% of his body. Back to you, Phil [/announcer voice] ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/30 "2004-12-02T04:58:07Z")
> [@](#): > > why not just get rid of this? Because if we got rid of this you’d not be able to see the _inferno_ that was once **Abbie Carmichael**! I got plans for AC’s self-righteous and judgemental (in a peculiarly Christian way) drivel which, while not at all neighborly, should at least pry open a corner her blissfully locked eyelids. It is to be hoped some ignorance will be challenged. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/31 "2004-12-02T07:42:33Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > I feel used. I thought that _we_ had something special. We do. You’re the only one who gets to lick 'em when they’re sweaty. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/32 "2004-12-02T07:45:45Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > And the day they take member flames off of this board will be a sad one for sure. Yeah, getting pitted is probably the only time people even bother to talk to you.😃 ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/33 "2004-12-02T08:48:20Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Because if we got rid of this you’d not be able to see the _inferno_ that was once **Abbie Carmichael**! I got plans for AC’s self-righteous and judgemental (in a peculiarly Christian way) drivel which, while not at all neighborly, should at least pry open a corner her blissfully locked eyelids. It is to be hoped some ignorance will be challenged. Oh yes, I bet she immediately burned her bible and converted. :rolleyes: :dubious: Come on- it is just possible that someone can be\* talked\* around… but no one- I repeat no one- is going to get anything but more entrenched by being flamed. And others won’t be coverted by reading some dude call another a goat-flelching asshole. Sure- “the choir” will enjoy it, but so? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/34 "2004-12-02T10:31:11Z")
I don’t mean to imply that you don’t have a point. Whether a flaming is constructive as opposed to merely a gratuitous sucker punch with the sole intent of delivering a black eye with no explanation depends entirely upon the delivery and content. Calling someone a coprophagous GFA is indeed funny, but unless an intelligent argument accompanies the angry remark it leaves the poster as irredeemable as the target. We were supposed to leave that mentality in the 3rd grade. However, a bit of catharsis with ample explanation and a challenge to “explain or change” is an attempt to reduce ignorance; either on the part of the target who perhaps didn’t understand exactly how offensive, and why, the behavior is, or on the part of the OP who maybe needs to lighten up. Other members can become part of the choir and pile on, or the may give the OP a good dressing down before the target ever knows what’s going on. Sort of like a GD, really, except in a forum where the vernacular can fly. ---
**Author:** ![Aldebaran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Aldebaran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aldebaran)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/35 "2004-12-02T13:29:40Z")
There are other message boards with a special forum where members can try to settle disagreements to avoid that such conversations disturb other members/forums. What I fail to understand about this website, is that this whole BBQ thing seems to be created and maintained as _the place to be_ for people who want to use the most vulgar insulting language they can come up with. It seems to be such a tradiiton that when you don’t use vulgare language around here you are considered to be unable to _pit_ something or someone _properly_. It feels to me like witnessing schoolchildren who feel - out of sight of their parents - that they come across as adult and mature when they manage to write in one post as much vulgarities and insults as they have ever picked up in places where children normally are not allowed to enter. I can imagine the reaction of a new visitor who starts reading the SDMB and by accident opens this forum to gain his first impression. “Fighting Ignorance” about how many vulgarities one can find in the English language? Yes, it can also be seen as a form of “fighting ignorance” I suppose. Salaam. A ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/36 "2004-12-02T13:45:13Z")
Oh yeah?! And your mother is a platypus! Ouch that gotta hurt, huh! ---
**Author:** ![Aldebaran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Aldebaran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aldebaran)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2004, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417/37 "2004-12-02T14:00:15Z")
I wouldn’t know what she is now. She died when I was 8. People who believe in reincarnation might help you here. Salaam. A [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-not-no-flaming-of-member-in-the-pit/277417.md?page=1)