# Why on earth must you piss on the toilet seat? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 12, 2007, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925 "2007-02-12T21:52:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/61 "2007-02-14T01:21:53Z")
[QUOTE=MaddyStrut] How is it that some of the prissiest people turn into such filthy pigs **when someone else has to clean it up?** [/QUOTE] You’ve answered your own question, there. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/62 "2007-02-14T03:22:49Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] \If you want to understand stupid human behavior, think _inside_ the box, people. [/QUOTE] I have to say, glib as this sounds, it is excellent advice. My husband and I have had any number of conversations where I just didn’t get what people were doing or why, and it usually is because I fail to understand just what the average person is truly like. I keep expecting them to be logical like me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/63 "2007-02-14T05:26:30Z")
> [@Unauthorized Cinnamon](#): > > I also make her wash her hands after pushing the kid carts at the grocery store, and stuff like that. I hope that doesn’t make me a ridiculous germophobe. Pass, friend. Frequent handwashing, especially after handling things lots of other people have handled, is a doctor-recommended way to cut down on disease transmission, and should be encouraged. Teaching your kids not to play with used tampons or other garbage and dirt is also reasonable. What’s “germophobic”, IMHO, is when people irrationally avoid **normal** activities because they’re afraid of touching something icky. Especially if they make things more inconvenient for other people in the process. People who spray pee on toilet seats because they’re unreasonably afraid of sitting down on them, or who refuse to wash their hands after going to the bathroom because the water taps might be “contaminated” and thus smear their own fecal bacteria over everything they handle afterwards, are ridiculous germophobes, and selfish pigs to boot. By the way, has anybody else encountered the particular form of mild toilet-seat germophobia that my mother tried to teach me? Namely: she puts her **hands** palm-down on the toilet seat and then sits on them. This way she’s not “hovering” or spraying, but she’s keeping her butt from touching the seat. Then she washes her hands after she leaves the stall, and, in theory, walks out the door with germ-free butt and hands. My mother’s a wonderful person and taught me lots of great stuff, but I confess I never came close to seeing the point of that one. Do you know if anybody else in the history of the universe has ever taken this approach to using public restrooms? Do you think “hoverers” in general would be willing to adopt this method as a compromise? It’s hard to believe that people who are so concerned about touching a public toilet seat with their delicate tushies would tolerate putting their hands on it instead, but if they would then it would save the world a lot of trouble, irritation, and sprayed pee. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/64 "2007-02-14T14:39:32Z")
[QUOTE=Kimstu] By the way, has anybody else encountered the particular form of mild toilet-seat germophobia that my mother tried to teach me? Namely: she puts her **hands** palm-down on the toilet seat and then sits on them. This way she’s not “hovering” or spraying, but she’s keeping her butt from touching the seat. Then she washes her hands after she leaves the stall, and, in theory, walks out the door with germ-free butt and hands. My mother’s a wonderful person and taught me lots of great stuff, but I confess I never came close to seeing the point of that one. Do you know if anybody else in the history of the universe has ever taken this approach to using public restrooms? Do you think “hoverers” in general would be willing to adopt this method as a compromise? It’s hard to believe that people who are so concerned about touching a public toilet seat with their delicate tushies would tolerate putting their hands on it instead, but if they would then it would save the world a lot of trouble, irritation, and sprayed pee. [/QUOTE] You know, I’ve never heard of that before. It’s a little odd, but not necessarily as odd as a compulsive need to spray the toilet seat with urine, pretend to wash one’s own hands, then liberally apply perfume to avoid smelling like the bathroom. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![RogueRacer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@RogueRacer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RogueRacer)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/65 "2007-02-14T16:00:10Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] I never was a "hover-round’-- I laid toilet paper on the seat or used one of the **provided tissue liners**. [/QUOTE] I believe the scientific term is “ass gasket”. 😛 Don’t feel bad. My boss seems to have the remarkable capability of wiping shit on the seat when he takes a dump. He also seems to feel no need to clean it up. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/66 "2007-02-14T16:16:55Z")
The bathroom in a restaurant where I used to work (chain pizza place) was frequently the target of rambunctious kids. It wasn’t unusual to find water from the sink splashed up the mirror onto the ceiling, soap dispenser cracked open and its contents spattered across the floor and four walls, and toilet paper tossed around the room like streamers. But one particular occurrence is forever burned in my mind: the day I walked in to see, in the bowl of the (only) toilet, an entire roll of toilet paper partially submerged in the water—and lying atop it, glistening like a wet brown seal perched on an exposed patch of iceberg, an enormous, freshly-laid turd. As they say, some things, once seen, cannot be unseen. It’s been over fifteen years and I still occasionally think of that marooned turd—wondering which of my poor co-workers ended up extracting the mess (it sure as hell wasn’t me), and whether the entire performance piece was donated by a single artist, or whether it might have been a conspiracy, involving an initial vandal and a subsequent defecator who thought nothing of dropping a fudge bomb onto Mount Charmin. ---
**Author:** ![Gbro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Gbro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gbro)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/67 "2007-02-14T16:45:11Z")
Ladies; Its high time you get together and develop a “Squatters” toilet. A male would have a extremely hard time in the design, unless he was a real raunchy voguer. Thomas Crapper was a man, You Gal’s need to do it “Your way” Then it may be called say, Tina Tinkle Designed it “The Tinkle” Yah, i hear you that the Crapper works fine for… but you need one of your own for the multi-tasking going on in the powder room. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/68 "2007-02-14T16:53:21Z")
[QUOTE=Gbro] Ladies; Its high time you get together and develop a “Squatters” toilet. A male would have a extremely hard time in the design, unless he was a real raunchy voguer. Thomas Crapper was a man, You Gal’s need to do it “Your way” Then it may be called say, Tina Tinkle Designed it “The Tinkle” Yah, i hear you that the Crapper works fine for… but you need one of your own for the multi-tasking going on in the powder room. [/QUOTE] Hey watch this ladies crap. Not all of us need to hover. I’m just fine plopping my butt down on the toilet seat. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/69 "2007-02-14T17:08:31Z")
[QUOTE=RogueRacer] I believe the scientific term is “ass gasket”. 😛 [/QUOTE] I really, really like that term. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/70 "2007-02-14T18:03:31Z")
[QUOTE=Kimstu] \By the way, has anybody else encountered the particular form of mild toilet-seat germophobia that my mother tried to teach me? Namely: she puts her **hands** palm-down on the toilet seat and then sits on them.\ [/QUOTE] “You got your filthy hand germs on my nice, clean legs!” ---
**Author:** ![Gbro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Gbro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gbro)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/71 "2007-02-14T21:16:32Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] Hey watch this ladies crap. Not all of us need to hover. I’m just fine plopping my butt down on the toilet seat. [/QUOTE] Just trying to say that Crapper’s Crapper was designed by a man, Now its not the most natural position for the female, as every one i have seen squats much lower to do the job right. (out in nature) Angles those angles are way wrong. I have 3 daughters, and our seat didn’t have a “bush cut” in it, i was forever the recipient of yellow and red residue. Thank you God for the fine work you did on the male anatomy. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/72 "2007-02-14T22:42:21Z")
I have used squatters before. It is no fun. I have managed to piss down my leg, get my jump suit in the hole, and to piss in my shoes. I do just fine on a regular toilet, thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/73 "2007-02-15T00:22:50Z")
[QUOTE=lee] I have used squatters before. It is no fun. I have managed to piss down my leg, get my jump suit in the hole, and to piss in my shoes. I do just fine on a regular toilet, thank you very much. [/QUOTE] You haven’t lived until you’ve had _mal des voyageurs_ in France, driven all over hell and gone looking for a john (while trying to hold it), and had to use a _toilette a la turk_ in a dive cafe out in the boonies. And I was damned glad to find it, too. But yuck. ---
**Author:** ![Malienation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/74 "2007-02-15T01:52:01Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] I would also like to express my displeasure at automatic sensors for taps and paper towels that don’t work. I’m waving my hands like freakin’ Merlin, and nothing’s coming out, man. [/QUOTE] Been there, done that. You stand there frantically waving your hands and hoping you are not telling the guy next to you to go fuck himself in sign language…and nothing happens. Either that or it turns on for 2 seconds, just long enough to suck you in to another round of digital gymnastics. ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/75 "2007-02-15T04:24:51Z")
[QUOTE=Malienation] Been there, done that. You stand there frantically waving your hands and hoping you are not telling the guy next to you to go fuck himself in sign language…and nothing happens. Either that or it turns on for 2 seconds, just long enough to suck you in to another round of digital gymnastics. [/QUOTE] The key is to pretend that you don’t even want it. Just walk right by… and the sensors catch. Tricky buggers. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/76 "2007-02-15T06:35:23Z")
[QUOTE=catsix] It’s probably a high percentage of the same. Hoverers or toilet paper nesters are probably the ones who make such a huge, huge deal over a man who leaves the seat up. [/QUOTE] I make a big deal when my BF leaves the seat up. I have good reasons for doing so, and none of them involve hovering or touching the toilet seat. Two of my cats drink out of the toilet whenever possible. I don’t want them to because it’s not as clean as I would like sometimes, and I don’t think it’s good for them. I also don’t want them to fall in, and believe me, these sterling examples of geriatic feline grace could well drown themselves in the bowl. So I want the lid down too, not just the seat. ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/77 "2007-02-15T08:09:16Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] I have to say, glib as this sounds, it is excellent advice. My husband and I have had any number of conversations where I just didn’t get what people were doing or why, and it usually is because I fail to understand just what the average person is truly like. I keep expecting them to be logical like me. 😃 [/QUOTE] Yeah, me too. I have a friend who keeps patiently explaining to me that my brain don’t work the same as most folks’. [QUOTE=Gbro] Now its not the most natural position for the female, as every one i have seen squats much lower to do the job right. (out in nature) [/QUOTE] That’s because in nature there’s nothing betwixt your groinal area and your socks and shoes to catch the items being dispensed. It’s not by any means the ideal postion for women, just the only feasible one when a toilet isn’t available. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/78 "2007-02-15T15:30:29Z")
> [@](#): > > **RubyStreak** said: > I make a big deal when my BF leaves the seat up. I have good reasons for doing so, and none of them involve hovering or touching the toilet seat. > > Two of my cats drink out of the toilet whenever possible. I don’t want them to because it’s not as clean as I would like sometimes, and I don’t think it’s good for them. I also don’t want them to fall in, and believe me, these sterling examples of geriatic feline grace could well drown themselves in the bowl. So I want the lid down too, not just the seat. Doesn’t this involve the lid and the seat though? Since most cats have the ability to perch on the seat and stick their head through the hole, I’d imagine the only way to really prevent them drinking out of the toilet is to put the lid down also. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/79 "2007-02-15T15:34:29Z")
[QUOTE=catsix] Doesn’t this involve the lid and the seat though? Since most cats have the ability to perch on the seat and stick their head through the hole, I’d imagine the only way to really prevent them drinking out of the toilet is to put the lid down also. [/QUOTE] That’d be why Ruby said: > [@](#): > > So I want the lid down too, not just the seat. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925/80 "2007-02-15T18:54:42Z")
I love catching the cats (only one does this regularly, actually) drinking out of the toilet. So dignified - head way down in the bowl, fuzzy ass waving in the air… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-on-earth-must-you-piss-on-the-toilet-seat/391925.md?page=5)