# Why only 19 welcomed by Cecil? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 22, 2000, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142 "2000-09-22T15:08:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![flup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d07c76/32.png) [@flup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flup)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/21 "2000-09-23T00:07:57Z")
yeah, froggy, I’m not a republican either… ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/22 "2000-09-23T01:33:51Z")
I could see **Cecil** welcoming somebody with a cool username…like **MysterEcks** , fer instance. Or a pretty name, like **Scotticher**. But… **Crunchy Frog**? I realize it’s a literary (if that’s the word I want) reference, but you gotta face it, man–it’s icky and yucky, and sounds like over-cooked amphibian. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/23 "2000-09-23T01:37:12Z")
FWIW, I’m hoping to get _acknowledged_ by Cecil, by accepting his challenge to [kiss his ass](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37435). Even I am humble enough to realise that it is not my place to request a greeting by the Master. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/24 "2000-09-23T01:54:36Z")
If Cecil isn’t real then how did I get this? (see signature) ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/25 "2000-09-23T02:07:48Z")
**Crunchy Frog** , you giddy, impetuous fool! But it’s heartwarming to see someone set their goals so high. ('Scuse me while I modestly refrain from mentioning that yes, I was one of the 19. It was really no big deal, though the newfound abililties to read minds, become invisible at will and predict stock market fluctuations _have_ been nice!) The _Chicago Reader_ grail beacon is a splendid touch, though Ike’s black-truffle-and-pig analogy is truly priceless. But you’d best do what aha did: drink enough warm Asti to float an aircraft carrier, hang around the pumpkin patch of your choice (bring your security blankey) and turn on the Bat Signal. But beware of what thou asketh: are you truly prepared for what Cecil-of-the-scalpel-tongue will do to the name “Crunchy Frog”? We’re pullin’ for ya, kid! Veb ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/26 "2000-09-23T03:36:03Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by MysterEcks \* **I could see Cecil welcoming somebody with a cool username…like Scotticher** And, I am so very flattered by this. And I am so very much your adoring syncophant. And, I require back and/or foot rubs, to prove that you really, really love me dearly. Don’t think I don’t appreciate you either way, but trust me-my back is a hurting unit, and I will be entirely appreciative if you want to help me with it, or understanding if you think I am a hypochondriac. So, either way we still get to be friends. Isn’t that wonderful? ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/27 "2000-09-23T04:31:30Z")
Quoth Nixon: > [@](#): > > IIRC, not only is Cecil a trademark but the application with the U.S. Patent Office explicitly notes that it is a fictional character - thus akin to Ronald, Charlie, Peter, Juan, Wendy, Johnny, Mikey, Betty, Speedy, Tony, Skippy, Joe, assorted Aunts and Uncles, numerous Elves, uncountable “talking” animals, **too many dead Presidents** (_My emphasis - dJ_) and the ever-popular Rastus - all designed to personalize impersonal commerce. I’m shocked, Nixon. Doesn’t this mean that you, as a dead President, don’t exist either? I could, if I wanted to waste precious sanity, field a Foucauldian argument that we are all technically fictional characters, but that would be rude. The writer of these articles is described as an obsessive recluse. Of course he’d use a pseudonym. And he’d be a fool not to copyright it. On the legal papes he would have to admit as much. To protect himself from exposure via the Freedom of Information Act, ownership would be transmitted to another to C Cecil’s™ A. Who better than his editor? Just because the quality of the writing has dropped over time and Ed or DextHavn should take over, it doesn’t mean that one ghostwriter replaced another in the recent past. More likely our boomer Sage has grown soft as he advances toward senility. There’s also a possibility it’s a ploy to protect his identity from Communist Chinese spies. I understand they’re very interested in where the numbers from the jumping-off-chairs question came from. And evilbeth, BJ’s last good album was _Innocent Man_. And a lot of his early blow-for-twenty-minutes-about-nothing-in-particular music was forgettable, too. As much as I like _52nd Street_, it’s hard to respect a song about a piano man that gives the solo to a harmonica player. And if you’re evil, and I’m heretical to you, does that make me saintly? Nifty! Hit me again. ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/28 "2000-09-23T08:02:42Z")
**Scotticher** said: > [@](#): > > And, I am so very flattered by this. And I am so very much your adoring syncophant. And, I require back and/or foot rubs, to prove that you really, really love me dearly. I’m perfectly willing to give you back and foot rubs, Scotti. But…if you’re my syncophant, shouldn’t _you_be giving _me_back and foot rubs? ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/29 "2000-09-23T13:43:48Z")
You just gotta be in the right place at the right time… ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/30 "2000-09-23T14:46:39Z")
Crunchy ( pointing a gnarled finger ) you my son are an upstart. Howeve I admire that. You are not unlike myself when I was your age. But let me get this straight. You want Cecil to just drift down from the mount and aknowledge your insignificant self eh? Speaking as one who was successful in luring the great one from his holy tasks, not to mention Jerry, Ed zotti and Lynn Bodoni ( I was by the way summarily and unceremoniously turned down by Euty and am still stinging from it) I must say that your approach lacks technique. If merely starting a thread asking for his imminence to nod your way was all that it takes, then we would all be basking in the glow of his attention. Let me say this about that. Cecil is mysterious and all knowing. It’s totally possible that you have already pissed him off by taking the nick Crunchy Frog. However that aside, I have only two words for you my son. Kissing Ass. Do it frequently and with fervor and don’t look back at those that would look down on you for doing it. They are jealous lot and will attain only minimal goals in this life. Remember the road to success is paved with the lip locks suborinates have put on their superiors asses. Enough said? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/31 "2000-09-24T23:31:01Z")
**aha** , thank you for your words of wisdom. I have many plans in mind, but thought I would try the direct route first. Apparently this is not working. I must make myself noticed first, and _then_\* ask. So I must escalate to **Plan B**. Now I don’t want to give out too many details of **Plan B** , but I will tell you that it involves a trained Orang-Utan, Seigfried and Roy, and 5 yards of ordinary garden hose. I plan to do as much ass kissing as possible and have stocked up on Chap-Stick in preparation. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/32 "2000-09-24T23:50:18Z")
CF I like your spunk! Keep it up, I am beginning to have faith in you. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/33 "2000-09-25T02:02:50Z")
**Cruncy** just remember you’ll have to get so far up Cecils ass that you’ll be able to see **aha’s** feet. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2000, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/34 "2000-09-25T08:14:04Z")
**Aha** , For someone who admitted, in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39485](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39485) that he got off on starting sexually related topics, could you please be a little less obvious about your overactive libido and refrain from posts like the following: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aha \* > \*\*CF I like your spunk! Keep it up… > \*\* 😛 [sub] I realize this is the pot calling the kettle black. So shoot me.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/35 "2000-10-05T15:12:25Z")
I welcomed Cecil! (not that he’s acknowledged the fact, but I did it) Cecil is Ed’s sockpuppet! Ed should be banned! [sup]If that doesn’t get me insulted by the Master, I don’t know what will.[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/36 "2000-10-05T15:41:50Z")
I didn’t tell my son about Santa Claus. I told him about Cecil Adams. This christmas, we’ll be burning jayburner/jebus/concrete in effigy to initiate young Jake to the fight. Perhaps, we will play pinata first. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/37 "2000-10-05T16:34:37Z")
Crunchy, I just had brunch with Cecil and he’s asked me to pass along his warmest regards. He said he’d do it himself, but he’s unable to type right now. He had a little accident with his hands while doing an experiment for an upcoming column. (If you know of a good finger grafting specialist, or of willing donors, please pass those names along.) I know you’re wondering now, just how the hell he was able to feed himself with those stumpy mitts. The answer is, he wasn’t. I had to fork every bite of his eggs benedict to his lips. It wasn’t pretty. Especially that trip to the men’s room. Although I found out Cecil has a much larger cock than Silo. So you can just ignore Silo’s pathetic gasconading. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/38 "2000-10-05T16:53:35Z")
**UncleBeer** - please pass on my condolences to Cecil. I would gladly donate the finger from my left hand myself (I need the fingers on my right hand for, uh, stuff . . . you know) if Cecil would only welcome me in person. I have Plan C in the development stages now, and if that doesn’t work I’ll have no choice but to um . . . I don’t know yet, but it won’t be pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/39 "2000-10-06T01:03:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DRY \* > \*\ ***Aha** , > For someone who admitted, in this thread: > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39485](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39485) > that he got off on starting sexually related topics, could you please be a little less obvious about your overactive libido and refrain from posts like the following: > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by aha \* > > \*\*CF I like your spunk! Keep it up… > > \*\* > > 😛 > [sub] I realize this is the pot calling the kettle black. So shoot me.[/sub] \*\* [whispering] Uh, DRY my love, I hate to keep bothering you for definitions, but could you define “spunk” for me? I mean, I always thought it meant "cute but defiant attitude. People have been telling me I have spunk for YEARS, and I always thought it was a compliment. I have an uneasy feeling that I should have been protesting, instead of smiling. While I await your answer, I am compiling a list of all the rotten, lowdown INSULTERS (I think?) who have been surreptitiously preying upon my inablility to understand the TRUE (I think?) meaning of this word. And I also have a feeling that the fact that I am not a man is germane to this discussion. You have my number, I am hiding in my bedroom until I hear from you. HELP! [/whispering] Suspicious Scotti ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-only-19-welcomed-by-cecil/34142/40 "2000-10-06T02:33:32Z")
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