# Why should I care about gay marriage?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766
**Category:** Great Debates
**Created:** [February 20, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766 "2014-02-20T02:37:39Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@turtlescanfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turtlescanfly)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/1 "2014-02-20T02:37:39Z")
I’ll post this in GD because I imagine it will end up there anyway.
I am a heterosexual, divorced male\*. I presently have literally not one care in the world whether same-sex marriage is legalized or not. Don’t have a dog in the fight, so to speak. Or do I? Is this a civil rights issue that I _should_ support (or oppose), or can I blithely go on about my life assured that my failure to take a side is not some huge moral failing (Someoneonce said that the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in the time of moral crisis, do nothing–T.S. Eliot, I think).
Make your case as to why I (or someone like me) should care about this issue, one way or the other, lest I burn in hell for failing to take a stand.
\*other demographic info available on request, if you can make a point for why it’s relevant.
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### Author:  [@iMouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iMouse)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/2 "2014-02-20T02:40:49Z")
Two words, Sharia Law.
Sure it’s not rampant in the U.S., but something just as sinister is.
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/3 "2014-02-20T02:44:09Z")
Innocent people are hurt by it being illegal, and the people who oppose it are motivated by either bigotry or the desire to profit off the bigotry of others. Supporting it is morally the right thing to do, and the opposing side is about as clearly in the wrong as one side can be in an argument.
And if nothing but self interest matters to you, do you want to be like the people who opposed interracial marriage or supported Jim Crow, and have an embarrassing past you need to keep concealed? It’s pretty obvious which direction society is moving on this issue at this point, and the parallels are obvious. In the future this will probably be one of those issues that people pretend they supported all along.
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### Author:  [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/4 "2014-02-20T02:46:45Z")
> [@iMouse](#):
>
> Two words, Sharia Law.
>
> Sure it’s not rampant in the U.S., but something just as sinister is.
Holy non-sequitur Batman!
What the heck does Sharia law have to do with SSM?
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### Author:  [@turtlescanfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turtlescanfly)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/5 "2014-02-20T02:47:08Z")
Are you saying I should be opposed because it violates Sharia Law? I am not Muslim, so I can’t see how that makes it any more compelling.
Or are you saying that I should be for it because Muslims are against it? I am not anti-Muslim either, so again don’t see a compelling argument.
Still on the fence…
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/6 "2014-02-20T02:49:41Z")
Obviously, **iMouse** is making the point that laws against homosexuality and same sex marriage were created and imposed as the Christian equivalent of Sharia law. The two religions are much the same.
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### Author:  [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/7 "2014-02-20T02:54:59Z")
> [@turtlescanfly](#):
>
> I’ll post this in GD because I imagine it will end up there anyway.
>
> I am a heterosexual, divorced male\*. I presently have literally not one care in the world whether same-sex marriage is legalized or not. Don’t have a dog in the fight, so to speak. Or do I? Is this a civil rights issue that I _should_ support (or oppose), or can I blithely go on about my life assured that my failure to take a side is not some huge moral failing.
It’s a civil rights issue, so the moral failure would be no worse than if you were white in the 1960s and saw no problem with blacks being discriminated against, or lived in Germany in the 1920s and -1930s and noted that what was happening to Jews had no bearing on you personally. And before you play the “but this is not _that_ bad” card, note its frayed edges and worn texture - its been played fairly often during periods that history now looks back on as pretty terrible. Some Spartan likely said the same thing when outsiders were appalled to learn they threw “defective” babies off a cliff. “What? You’re seeing it out of context- it wasn’t _that_ bad…”
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### Author:  [@turtlescanfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turtlescanfly)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/8 "2014-02-20T02:55:13Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> do you want to be like the people who opposed interracial marriage or supported Jim Crow, and have an embarrassing past you need to keep concealed?
This is the whole point of the thread… I am NOT opposed to same-sex marriage, nor do I support those who seek to oppress, thus I won’t have any embarrassing past to conceal (unless failing to take a stand is embarrassing).
I agree with the “being on the right side of history” argument somewhat. But if simply agreeing with the majority is the new moral authority, I’ve got a lot of other problems…
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### Author:  [@iMouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iMouse)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/9 "2014-02-20T02:56:27Z")
> [@zoid](#):
>
> Holy non-sequitur Batman!
>
> What the heck does Sharia law have to do with SSM?
Hello!!! The Religious Right, that pervades American society.
Children at play do SSM, if the other sex is not a playmate. They don’t yet have the programming to see anything wrong with it.
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### Author:  [@turtlescanfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turtlescanfly)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/10 "2014-02-20T02:58:06Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> Obviously, **iMouse** is making the point that laws against homosexuality and same sex marriage were created and imposed as the Christian equivalent of Sharia law. The two religions are much the same.
Forgive me for not seeing that as obvious. Even so, I’m still not clear whether that is an argument me to support or oppose same-sex marriage.
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### Author:  [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/11 "2014-02-20T02:59:40Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> Obviously, **iMouse** is making the point that laws against homosexuality and same sex marriage were created and imposed as the Christian equivalent of Sharia law. The two religions are much the same.
It wasn’t obvious at all, and apparently I’m not the only one who found it confusing per the quote below…
> [@turtlescanfly](#):
>
> Are you saying I should be opposed because it violates Sharia Law? I am not Muslim, so I can’t see how that makes it any more compelling.
>
> Or are you saying that I should be for it because Muslims are against it? I am not anti-Muslim either, so again don’t see a compelling argument.
>
> Still on the fence…
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/12 "2014-02-20T03:04:27Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> Obviously, **iMouse** is making the point that laws against homosexuality and same sex marriage were created and imposed as the Christian equivalent of Sharia law. The two religions are much the same.
I thought it was obvious, too, but can understand that others might not.
As for the OP, it’s OK if you don’t care. As long as you’re not getting in the way, that’s cool. But I think the question is: if your state has an anti-SSM ballot initiative, do you vote for or against?
No one expects you to be marching in the streets.
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### Author:  [@turtlescanfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turtlescanfly)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/13 "2014-02-20T03:09:17Z")
> [@epbrown01](#):
>
> It’s a civil rights issue, so the moral failure would be no worse than if you were white in the 1960s and saw no problem with blacks being discriminated against, or lived in Germany in the 1920s and -1930s and noted that what was happening to Jews had no bearing on you personally."
OK, now we’re starting to get somewhere. I agree that it is on par with your above two examples. But what is the extent of that moral failing? Its also been said that if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. Is that true in this case? By failing to support same-sex marriage (by signing petitions, attending rallies, writing my congressman, what have you) am I as morally culpable as the oppressors?
Feel free to rate on a scale - 1 being Mother Theresa-like beatitude and 10 being Hitler-like depravity.
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### Author:  [@iMouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iMouse)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/14 "2014-02-20T03:10:20Z")
Yes, is was all an issue of indoctrination of the young, to think as their parents did, and their parents before them, etc, etc.
This does not constitute growth by any stretch of the imagination.
Just stagnation.
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### Author:  [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/15 "2014-02-20T03:15:46Z")
> [@iMouse](#):
>
> Two words, Sharia Law.
>
> Sure it’s not rampant in the U.S., but something just as sinister is.
Huh?
Yeah gay marriage isn’t legal in the one western country which practices Sharia law, but I’m not sure what it has to do with gay equality in the US.
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### Author:  [@turtlescanfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turtlescanfly)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/16 "2014-02-20T03:17:03Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> But I think the question is: if your state has an anti-SSM ballot initiative, do you vote for or against?
Ah yes! Thank you, an excellent distillation of the key issue. Real activism takes time and energy, I could perhaps be forgiven for not engaging in it for an issue that doesn’t really affect me directly. But casting a vote requires no sacrifice on my part.
So, tell me why I should be for or against a proposed SSM marriage ban in my state.
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### Author:  [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/17 "2014-02-20T03:19:26Z")
> [@turtlescanfly](#):
>
> I am a heterosexual, divorced male\*. I presently have literally not one care in the world whether same-sex marriage is legalized or not. Don’t have a dog in the fight, so to speak. Or do I?
Well, since you clearly won’t be engaging in a same sex marriage I could argue that no, you don’t have a dog in this fight.
You would arguably have a small interest in it because of where the larger issues involving it might tie into your world:
- as a general rule, if you want your rights respected you should support the rights of others. If you don’t have a reason to be against it (and it seems you don’t) then you should either not oppose it or support it at least mildly.
- same sex marriage eventually ties into things like parental custody of children, which, if you’re a divorced male who has kids (you didn’t mention if you did or not), might be of concern to you as well.
So while I wouldn’t expect you to actively campaign for SSM or join in noisy public demonstrations you might consider voting for it rather than against it should the opportunity arise.
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### Author:  [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/18 "2014-02-20T03:21:16Z")
Why care about anything that doesn’t directly impact your day to day life? Plenty of people don’t.
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### Author:  [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/19 "2014-02-20T03:21:56Z")
Anyway to me it’s because we all have a vested interest in living in a society where people are treated equally and not discriminated against.
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2014, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-about-gay-marriage/681766/20 "2014-02-20T03:21:56Z")
> [@turtlescanfly](#):
>
> Ah yes! Thank you, an excellent distillation of the key issue. Real activism takes time and energy, I could perhaps be forgiven for not engaging in it for an issue that doesn’t really affect me directly. But casting a vote requires no sacrifice on my part.
>
> So, tell me why I should be for or against a proposed SSM marriage ban in my state.
If you don’t care either way, why would you want to stop people who do care?
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