# Why should I care if a women got home safe after a date if she plans to see me again??? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540 "2014-07-19T18:28:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FBJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@FBJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FBJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/1 "2014-07-19T18:28:54Z")
I never understood that at all. I am supposed to care if a woman got home safe and she has no interest in a second date? And if she has no interest in a 2nd date then she is nothing but a stranger and I’m not concerned about people I don’t know. This is why i hate dating ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/2 "2014-07-19T18:33:35Z")
Basic human decency, I think. Decent human beings are concerned even about people they _actually_ don’t know, which is not even the true case here. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/3 "2014-07-19T18:35:12Z")
You become the first suspect when she turns up dead or goes missing. ---
**Author:** ![FBJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@FBJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FBJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/4 "2014-07-19T18:37:21Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > You become the first suspect when she turns up dead or goes missing. you have a point ---
**Author:** ![FBJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@FBJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FBJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/5 "2014-07-19T18:38:21Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Basic human decency, I think. > Decent human beings are concerned even about people they _actually_ don’t know, which is not even the true case here. I don’t need to know about someone getting home I am never going to talk to again ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/6 "2014-07-19T18:42:01Z")
I’m sure some women will be attracted to people who lack empathy, so you never know, maybe you’ll get a second date at some point? ---
**Author:** ![FBJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@FBJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FBJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/7 "2014-07-19T18:43:46Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > I’m sure some women will be attracted to people who lack empathy, so you never know, maybe you’ll get a second date at some point? I’m just sick of thinking they text me because they are interested and then after that I never get another text ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/8 "2014-07-19T18:46:18Z")
What **njtt** said. Try talking to women about safety. Women are more vulnerable to random violence than men, partly because of physical size and strength, partly because of culture (have you ever tried to run in a dress and high heels?). Women typically watch out for each other in social situations, and are more careful when out alone at night. Now, if women do that for each other as a matter of course, why wouldn’t a man extend the same courtesy? In other words, it’s not necessarily part of dating. It’s part of being human. You may not care whether she gets robbed or raped once she’s of no further use to you, but the polite thing is not to communicate your lack of concern to her. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/9 "2014-07-19T18:47:33Z")
Did you mean (in your subject question) “if they never plan to see me again”? Your discussion makes more sense that way. In either case, a quick text exchange is polite and caring and far less “involving” than a call might have been, now or in some prior era. I would say it’s necessary any time you leave a date off anywhere but entering her home or apartment. ---
**Author:** ![FBJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@FBJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FBJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/10 "2014-07-19T18:50:43Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > What **njtt** said. Try talking to women about safety. Women are more vulnerable to random violence than men, partly because of physical size and strength, partly because of culture (have you ever tried to run in a dress and high heels?). Women typically watch out for each other in social situations, and are more careful when out alone at night. > > Now, if women do that for each other as a matter of course, why wouldn’t a man extend the same courtesy? > > In other words, it’s not necessarily part of dating. It’s part of being human. You may not care whether she gets robbed or raped once she’s of no further use to you, but the polite thing is not to communicate your lack of concern to her. if it’s someone I’m attracted to and want to see again then yes ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/11 "2014-07-19T18:52:14Z")
> [@FBJJ](#): > > I don’t need to know about someone getting home I am never going to talk to again Then you are a psychopath, or at the very least a huge asshole. She showed good judgement in turning you down. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/12 "2014-07-19T18:52:50Z")
> [@FBJJ](#): > > This is why i hate dating LOL, out of the plethora of things that suck about dating, THIS is the thing that sticks in your craw? ---
**Author:** ![FBJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@FBJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FBJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/13 "2014-07-19T18:53:18Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Did you mean (in your subject question) “if they never plan to see me again”? Your discussion makes more sense that way. > > In either case, a quick text exchange is polite and caring and far less “involving” than a call might have been, now or in some prior era. I would say it’s necessary any time you leave a date off anywhere but entering her home or apartment. Being polite is not required if you have no interest in a 2nd date ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/14 "2014-07-19T18:54:26Z")
You don’t care about people you don’t know? ---
**Author:** ![FBJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@FBJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FBJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/15 "2014-07-19T18:54:29Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > LOL, out of the plethora of things that suck about dating THIS is the thing that sticks in your craw? Yes because I got a text recently saying “it was a pleasure meeting me” and I thought I had a second date ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/16 "2014-07-19T18:55:58Z")
If you have any part in the reason why they are moving about that that time and place, then you have some responsibility for how safely they proceed to their next safe haven. When you started the date, you assumed some responsibility for their safety and well-being, and that does not fully end until they have reached their next safe base. ---
**Author:** ![FBJJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e8cbc/32.png) [@FBJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FBJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/17 "2014-07-19T18:56:19Z")
> [@tapu](#): > > You don’t care about people you don’t know? Why should I? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/18 "2014-07-19T18:57:35Z")
See, this is why a lot of women do the “fade-away” when they’re not interested in dating someone. Let your date know more bluntly that you’re not interested in more and with **some** guys it’s a tiny, tiny step from ‘I don’t have to be polite’ / ‘why should I care if she gets home safe’ to ‘fuck you, bitch’ to worse. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/19 "2014-07-19T18:58:42Z")
Explore it yourself. Play it out. We’ll wait. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2014, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540/20 "2014-07-19T19:02:18Z")
> [@FBJJ](#): > > Why should I? Basic human decency? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-care-if-a-women-got-home-safe-after-a-date-if-she-plans-to-see-me-again/693540.md?page=2)