# Why should I listen to you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 8, 2017, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063 "2017-04-08T16:53:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/21 "2017-04-09T01:08:32Z")
A few months ago I started a little social experiment. I am out and about everyday (retired) and interact with a fairly large diverse group of people. Whenever the opportunity presented itself I would steer the conversation away from the usual news weather and sports and would do my best to get people to discuss ideas they have or had. I would dedicate the entire conversation to what they were talking about giving feedback as it progressed. It was really fascinating how the casual dynamics of our relationship suddenly changed. Now every time my car pulls in the driveway I feel like someone was waiting for me to show up. They can’t wait to pick up where we left off. It is like talking to different people. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/22 "2017-04-09T01:23:14Z")
That’s awesome. I’m not great with casual conversation but I adore getting into deep one on one dialog about the stuff that matters. ---
**Author:** ![DrForrester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@DrForrester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrForrester)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/23 "2017-04-09T01:39:29Z")
I genuinely hope that you don’t believe me. That would be you taking the easy way out. The most that I could ever hope is that you’ll process what I’ve written and then go out and research the bloody thing for yourself!! I just want to supply the rise in your eyebrow and the, “Wot’s All This Then?!?” “Believe nothing that you hear & only half of what you see…” - Edgar Allan Poe ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/24 "2017-04-09T04:40:54Z")
> [@Sefton](#): > > 'Cause I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. What did you do in California? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/25 "2017-04-09T06:01:11Z")
Because tomorrow, when all the cool kids are talking about what I wrote, you’ll wish you had read my post. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/26 "2017-04-09T07:51:00Z")
Because I’m older than you are, by a lot, and I saw people making your mistakes a long time ago. Even made some of them myself. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/27 "2017-04-09T08:18:17Z")
I’ve seen some things. Things you wouldn’t believe. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/28 "2017-04-09T08:58:28Z")
If you don’t listen to me, how can you execute my plan? ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/29 "2017-04-09T10:45:45Z")
If you don’t listen to me, how can you _foil_ my plan? ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/30 "2017-04-09T10:58:02Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Or why should I care what you have to say or write? Try to pick something outside your primary line of expertise. It is ok to call atention to your primary expertise as a qualifier if you choose. I have found that the more questions I ask, the more people engage with me. Seek first to understand, then to be understood, as Stephen Covey says. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/31 "2017-04-09T11:16:38Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > I have found that the more questions I ask, the more people engage with me. Seek first to understand, then to be understood, as Stephen Covey says. I notice you handle is Wordman, are you a writer? I like the quote. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/32 "2017-04-09T11:24:03Z")
Because I’m only going to say this once. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/33 "2017-04-09T11:25:09Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I notice you handle is Wordman, are you a writer? I like the quote. I do a lot of writing in my job, which is focused on strategic planning and execution. I got the nickname because I talk a lot ;). ETA: 99.9% of business books are crap. Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is an exception. It is simply packaged common sense, stated in a plainspoken way. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/34 "2017-04-09T11:34:44Z")
Because I have a very strong, resonant voice, which I’m told is easy to listen to. > [@](#): > > Seek first to understand, then to be understood, as Stephen Covey says. St. Francis said it first. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/35 "2017-04-09T11:40:02Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Because I have a very strong, resonant voice, which I’m told is easy to listen to. > St. Francis said it first. You are very easy to listen to, I have no problem at all reading all of your posts, even when they are way over my head. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/36 "2017-04-09T11:40:14Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Because I have a very strong, resonant voice, which I’m told is easy to listen to. > St. Francis said it first. “Understand First”, as a proverb, goes back thousands of years, around the same time as Do Unto Others…/the Golden Rule. It’s all good. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/37 "2017-04-09T11:44:55Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > I do a lot of writing in my job, which is focused on strategic planning and execution. I got the nickname because I talk a lot ;). > > ETA: 99.9% of business books are crap. Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is an exception. It is simply packaged common sense, stated in a plainspoken way. I have a life long obsession with strategic planning and execution, it served me well in my middle and low level management positions I found myself in throughout my life. One aspect I like to focus on that can make a break a plan is how much change I can realistically expect from people when given the proper motivations. I like this because it is not so black and white and can often allow us to rise above the pack. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/38 "2017-04-09T11:50:59Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I have a life long obsession with strategic planning and execution, it served me well in my middle and low level management positions I found myself in throughout my life. One aspect I like to focus on that can make a break a plan is how much change I can realistically expect from people when given the proper motivations. I like this because it is not so black and white and can often allow us to rise above the pack. Yes, strategic thinking is interesting and many folks have exposure to it. Kinda like telling a joke: it seems like part of everyone’s life, and some folks have a natural affinity for it, but the actual _craft_ of it is its own beast, and doing it at the corporate level is a lot harder than it seems at first. And yes, assessing an organization’s capacity for change is a huge part of developing an executable strategy. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/39 "2017-04-09T12:03:11Z")
I have found myself at 68 years old at a place in my life where I do need to improve on my approach and delivery. I do alright among my peers but once I step out of my comfort zone I fall flat on my face. I was invited to an event at the end of this month with a small group of people I really need to make a good impression on. I got this far more on likability than I did credibility. I need to figure out a way to use my likability as an inroad to establish some credibility. I am scared to death and everyday contemplate canceling. ``` I expect I will end up going, having a nice time and never approaching the subject I would like to discuss. Maybe I will use the meeting to strengthen the social bond and bide my time. I am somewhat self conscious about my style and demeanor. I related to Tony Soprano in one of his scenes when he was looking at joining the local country club. He felt like a fish out of water just as I do. The only thing I can really change is my hairstyle and I don't have much hair to work with. ``` I am too old for charm school, wish me luck! ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2017, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063/40 "2017-04-09T12:20:30Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I have found myself at 68 years old at a place in my life where I do need to improve on my approach and delivery. I do alright among my peers but once I step out of my comfort zone I fall flat on my face. I was invited to an event at the end of this month with a small group of people I really need to make a good impression on. I got this far more on likability than I did credibility. I need to figure out a way to use my likability as an inroad to establish some credibility. I am scared to death and everyday contemplate canceling. > > ``` > I expect I will end up going, having a nice time and never approaching the subject I would like to discuss. Maybe I will use the meeting to strengthen the social bond and bide my time. I am somewhat self conscious about my style and demeanor. I related to Tony Soprano in one of his scenes when he was looking at joining the local country club. He felt like a fish out of water just as I do. The only thing I can really change is my hairstyle and I don't have much hair to work with. > > ``` > > I am too old for charm school, wish me luck! Sounds like you should use this as an opportunity to ask them questions. Set aside the points you want to make that show you are credible. Ask them what they are working on that is in your common interest, and follow up with open-ended questions to get them to share more. Measure success by how long they do the talking - if they do 80% of it, you’re doing great. They will remember you as credible. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-i-listen-to-you/784063.md?page=3)