# Why should you be given a berth aboard the space ark? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786 "2005-09-21T22:24:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/101 "2005-09-24T20:25:49Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > I’d publish the book that (through amazing, amazing intuitive powers) I know you’re working on, and distribute it across the land. Normally I would use my amazing powers of mind-control to convince the population that it was worth reading, but because it would obviously be absolutely stellar anyway, that wouldn’t be necessary. > > And I make the meanest spaghetti this side of Magrathea. Obviously if I were Space Ark Commander I’d have no time for silly children’s novels. That said, your butt-kissing pleases me. You have a berth. Bring a grater for that spaghetti. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/102 "2005-09-24T20:30:49Z")
Hmmm, I was only interested cause I thought the world was going to be ruled by someone who understood the passion of writing. If you don’t plan on keeping it up, you must not understand the passion as well as I thought. In that case, I think I’ll stay here and sharpen my spaghetti noodles into spears. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/103 "2005-09-24T20:39:12Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Hmmm, I was only interested cause I thought the world was going to be ruled by someone who understood the passion of writing. If you don’t plan on keeping it up, you must not understand the passion as well as I thought. > > In that case, I think I’ll stay here and sharpen my spaghetti noodles into spears. [noble self-sacrificing mode] Oh, I have a passion for writing. But let’s be reasonable here. There’ll be time fr that once we’re on Tellus Secundus, and saving the human race from extinction has to take priority. [/noble self-sacrificing mode] ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/104 "2005-09-30T15:09:04Z")
Well, everybody hates lawyers, but here goes… You’re going to need to establish a government of some kind once you’re aboard ship, or at least once you arrive at Alpha Centauri. Democracy has, I hope you’ll agree, been clearly shown to be the best form of human governance (“except for all the others that have been tried,” as Churchill said). To safeguard democracy you need the rule of law. I’ve been a lawyer for 13 years, a prosecutor for 6, and a magistrate for almost 4. I love history and know what legal innovations and concepts have (and have not) worked out, over time. I would make, may I humbly suggest, a very good legal advisor for you. I like cats too, and have read a lot of science fiction, so a trip like this wouldn’t totally unnerve me. My wife and I have three great sons, ages 8, 5 and 2, so maybe we’ll be beamed aboard under your “families with small children” categorization anyway. Here’s hoping… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/105 "2005-09-30T15:16:44Z")
> [@William V.](#): > > …Democracy has, I hope you’ll agree, been clearly shown to be the best form of human governance (“except for all the others that have been tried,” as Churchill said)… D’oh! :smack: That sentence should read, Democracy has, I hope you’ll agree, been clearly shown to be the best form of human governance (“The worst except for all the others that have been tried,” as Churchill said)… Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/106 "2005-09-30T15:26:00Z")
> [@William V.](#): > > Well, everybody hates lawyers, but here goes… **I** don’t hate lawyers. Lawsuits are what we use to avoid gunfights. > [@](#): > > You’re going to need to establish a government of some kind once you’re aboard ship, or at least once you arrive at Alpha Centauri. Democracy has, I hope you’ll agree, been clearly shown to be the best form of human governance (“except for all the others that have been tried,” as Churchill said). To safeguard democracy you need the rule of law. I’ve been a lawyer for 13 years, a prosecutor for 6, and a magistrate for almost 4. I love history and know what legal innovations and concepts have (and have not) worked out, over time. I would make, may I humbly suggest, a very good legal advisor for you. > > I like cats too, and have read a lot of science fiction, so a trip like this wouldn’t totally unnerve me. My wife and I have three great sons, ages 8, 5 and 2, so maybe we’ll be beamed aboard under your “families with small children” categorization anyway. > > Here’s hoping… Well, obviously you didn’t make the families lottery, or you wouldn’t be applying? That said, your reasoning works for me – except that it’s not quite silly enough. I’m given you a provisional berth until you demonstrate ready knowledge of some sort of cooking no one else knows, or familiarity with _Family Guy_, or a [ridiculously](http://oseb79.free.fr/images/Stars/catherine%20zeta-jones%2002.jpg) [hot](http://www.palefella.com/duh/gallery/willow5.jpg) [wife](http://www.worldsendimages.com/piggy.jpg). Oh, and bring ginger snaps. I never pack enough ginger snaps. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/107 "2005-09-30T15:37:36Z")
Glad to hear you don’t share Jack Cade’s outlook on lawyers (he was a thug, anyway). Ginger snaps? You say _ginger snaps_? Damn! Why didn’t I think of that first? My wife is (IMHO) ridiculously hot, but perhaps even better from your perspective, she bakes the best kickass ginger snaps (it’s an old Vermont family recipe, called “ginger drops”) you’ve ever tasted. Are you in for a treat! I’ve watched “Family Guy” a few times and have liked it - too busy to watch it all the time, alas. Hope that won’t be counted against me (plenty of time to watch on the yearlong trip to Alpha Centauri). Stewie is my favorite character - gotta love a toddler who’s bent on Global Domination. I rarely fart (unlike some previous posters. Ahem). I know “Monty Python” and “Hitchhiker’s Guide” well, but don’t quote either _ad nauseum_. I like flags and could design a really good one for your new nation. Respectfully submitted… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/108 "2005-09-30T15:51:16Z")
> [@William V.](#): > > Glad to hear you don’t share Jack Cade’s outlook on lawyers (he was a thug, anyway). > > Ginger snaps? You say _ginger snaps_? Damn! Why didn’t I think of that first? My wife is (IMHO) ridiculously hot, but perhaps even better from your perspective, she bakes the best kickass ginger snaps (it’s an old Vermont family recipe, called “ginger drops”) you’ve ever tasted. Are you in for a treat! > > I’ve watched “Family Guy” a few times and have liked it - too busy to watch it all the time, alas. Hope that won’t be counted against me (plenty of time to watch on the yearlong trip to Alpha Centauri). Stewie is my favorite character - gotta love a toddler who’s bent on Global Domination. > > I rarely fart (unlike some previous posters. Ahem). I know “Monty Python” and “Hitchhiker’s Guide” well, but don’t quote either _ad nauseum_. I like flags and could design a really good one for your new nation. > > Respectfully submitted… You’re gold, baby. Though being the evil emperor type, I may have to Uriah-the-Hittite you if your wife is both ridiculously hot and an able baker of ginger snaps. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/109 "2005-09-30T19:43:28Z")
> [@William V.](#): > > To safeguard democracy you need the rule of law. And the other thing you need to safeguard the rule of law…guys with clubs, so as to crack enough skulls until everyone stays in line. I could be the guy to design, build, and maintain those clubs. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/110 "2005-09-30T19:48:55Z")
> [@William V.](#): > > To safeguard democracy you need the rule of law. And the other thing you need to safeguard the rule of law…guys with clubs, so as to crack enough skulls until everyone stays in line. I could be the guy to design, build, and maintain those clubs. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/111 "2005-09-30T21:16:57Z")
I’m a natural source of methane gas. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/112 "2005-09-30T21:19:36Z")
> [@ouryL](#): > > I’m a natural source of methane gas. :rolleyes: Oh, I’m taking along Rush Limbaugh for that. And to execute, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/113 "2005-10-03T18:17:32Z")
> [@Fabulous Creature](#): > > You’re gold, baby. Though being the evil emperor type, I may have to Uriah-the-Hittite you if your wife is both ridiculously hot and an able baker of ginger snaps. Much obliged, O captain my captain! I look forward to the trip. BTW, I’ve spoken to Susan, and she said she won’t bake you any ginger snaps if you go all Uriah on me. Just a little FYI for ya there. =Whew= ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/114 "2005-10-05T14:47:25Z")
A slight hijack, for those who want to try those ginger drops before we beam up to the ark: 3/4 cup margerine 3/4 cup shortening 2 cups sugar 2 eggs 1/2 cup light molasses 3 1/4 cups flour 2 tsp. baking soda 2 tsp. cinnamon 1 tsp. cloves 2 tbsp. ginger Beat margerine, shortening, sugar and eggs until light and fluffy. Add molasses. Add flour sifted with baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, and ginger. Drop by teaspoonfuls on ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 8-10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes about seven dozen cookies. Let me know how you like them! I’ll check back here from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786/115 "2005-10-05T15:02:03Z")
I’ll put in a bid for my family. I am a computer programmer and can buid and fix them. PC or mainframes. I am a JOT in the fact I can help repair or repair almost anything. I was a Navy electrician and I’m used to long periods (121 days) without seeing land or daylight. I was an HVAC mechanic. I used to repair cars, (Home hobbyist). I am an average carpenter. I can design lots of things from toys to furniture to working PC out of scrap material. (I can’t spell well BTW). I can assemble anything with instruction. I actually built a very small particle accelerater in High School. I have read over 1000 Sci-Fi novels so I am intellectually ready for almost any strange encounter. My wife is a Computer Programmer with a Mechanical engineer. She is also a great cook and raised goats & rabbits as a kid. My kids are just kids but fairly bright. My 8 year old daughter already has good training in grabbing the right tool in helping to build/fix things and in using a paint brush. I hope you can make room for 4. If so we would love to be included. My wife can make Canoli’s from scratch BTW. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-should-you-be-given-a-berth-aboard-the-space-ark/322786.md?page=5)