# Why so many more White Male/Asian Female couples? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [August 4, 2003, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842 "2003-08-04T06:12:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![laigle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@laigle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laigle)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/61 "2003-09-02T03:54:04Z")
I would say that regardless of their veracity, stereotypes do have an impact. If asian women are perceived as being more submissive and kinkier, well, there’s going to be more guys going after them, even if it’s not true. If white guys are perceived as being less dominating, they’ll be more attractive, even if it’s not true. And culturally, white males have had a longer history to prepare them for pretending to be sensitive and caring long enough to get some. See ladies, there’s a stab at guys to counterbalance my being a pig in the untouched girls thread. It’s like crime. Certain white people don’t get nervous in minority neighborhoods because they went out, compiled statistics, polled the community, and decided it was an unsafe neighborhood. There’s a stereotype that minorities are dangerous, and that stereotype causes people to behave as though it’s true. What we’re talking about here is not the merits of the stereotypes, its the resulting behavior. Plus, and don’t start throwing things here, asian girls are kinda cute. Don’t ask me to explain the vagaries of human attraction, I don’t know why. I don’t know why redheads top brunettes, I don’t know what the deal with height is, but them’s the breaks. ---
**Author:** ![Nightime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nightime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightime)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/62 "2003-09-02T04:40:02Z")
It strikes me that the best way to win someone’s heart is not by telling them “you owe me.” If asian females feel like asian males are telling them “it is your duty to date asian males”, it is no surprise they might be reluctant to date asian males. It’s all attitude. An asian male who accepts that he is not “owed” anything, and just puts himself out there, will almost certainly have a lot more dating success. ---
**Author:** ![Back\_Lot\_Brawl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Back\_Lot\_Brawl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Back_Lot_Brawl)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/63 "2003-09-02T05:52:01Z")
I think the reasons are more biological than anything. For whatever reason, Asian features on a girl are more attractive (in general) to white guys than Asian features on a guy are to white girls. And I think this is the same reason you see more black male/white female couples than white male/black female couples. I can say that (as a white guy) I’m not attracted to Asian girls because of any belief that they’re “submissive” (I actually **don’t** want a submissive girlfriend/wife!) I’m not attracted because they’re somehow “exotic” in bed. And I don’t think they’ll bear me some genius children because “Asians are smart.” I’m just attracted to them, and always have been. Similarly, for whatever reason, I’m very rarely attracted to black girls. It has nothing to do with stereotypes about black people – it’s just that, for whatever reason, they don’t do anything for me. I know it’s a small sample size, but from discussions with white male friends over the years, they have similar feelings. For some reason, Asian girls do it for them, and black girls don’t. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/64 "2003-09-02T11:07:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > \*\*I’d like to know where you people who claim that other races consider the white race to be superior are getting this information. Can one of you provide ONE reputable cite to back up tht claim? If not, I continue to say bullshit. \*\* I think the problem here is that we’re using the word “white”, when really what is mean is “western”. Undeniably in this part of the world, there is a difference between “western” salaries and “asian” (=subcontinental) salaries. Where an indian man might be paid US$1000-1500/month, a european man would probably get US$5000+. There are no racial equality laws, anything like that. Generally speaking, “western” white collar labour is exported east, while “asian” blue collar labour is exported west. Obviously there are exceptions. But most people travelling from New York to Hong Kong for work are going to be going into high-status, corporate jobs. By contrast take the Philippines - where the majority of filipino expats (at least here in the Middle East) work in far lower-paid service jobs - from MacDonalds to housemaiding. Why are westerners paid more than asians (and I belive africans) here? The main reason is because they come from countries that are economically advanced and they speak English natively. You can’t provide exact cites for this form of institutionalised/nationalised racism. I can tell you (shocking) things I’ve heard, but that would just be anecdotal. But were you to look in the Classified Appointments at [http://www.GulfNews.com](http://www.GulfNews.com) - you would get an idea of the intensive discrimination going on. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/65 "2003-09-02T13:39:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crafter\_Man \* > \*\* > > - More intelligent > - Less bitchy > - Less spoiled > - More family oriented > - Better looking (especially thinner) > - Have better morals and values > - Less likely to have mental problems \*\* You have definately gotta be joking right? Just because your wife is Asian doesn’t mean you have the ‘upper hand’ on everyone else, and from my experience, Asian women have more problems than White women in the manners and mental department. Less bitchy! Jesus, most Asian women I’ve met have been nothing but bitchy. The fact of the matter is, there is no stereotype that fits anyone anymore, the stereotypical images of Asians and whatnot originated from the 19th century, let it rest there would you please? And as for marrying up the social ladder, it is sad but true. It happened in the Middle ages in Western society, eg the Hapsburgs and how the whole of Western Europe’s royal families in the early 1900’s became related to each other, so it is necessarily not a new thing. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/66 "2003-09-02T15:34:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > **I think the problem here is that we’re using the word “white”, when really what is mean is “western”.** Now _that_ I’ll buy. So, it’s a cultural thing, not a racial thing. ---
**Author:** ![Space\_Vampire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Space\_Vampire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vampire)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/67 "2003-09-02T15:42:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ava \* > \*\* > White women are viewed as sex objects. I’ve seen plenty of Japanese/Korean/Chinese music videos and white women are the “girl” in more of them then Asian women. But, as parents still have a lot of say, Asian women are still viewed as better wives. > \*\* Huh? Okay, this is kind of off the main point, but it’s so puzzling I have to say something. I don’t really go for popular music and don’t really watch music videos, but I’ve flipped past a fair number lot of Hong Kong/Taiwanese/Korean MVs, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a white person in one, let alone as “the girl,” and DEFINITELY not more than Asian women. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/68 "2003-09-02T16:23:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blonde \* > \*\*You won’t get a cite, \*\*bbart4 - \*\* I agree that (however ugly it may be) women may choose to be with a different race for some perceived financial improvement in their lives. I don’t buy into the concept that anyone of a non-white race thinks whites are racially superior. \*\* I do. They may not believe it consciously, but there is often this perception of such. For example, Filipinos in America often speak about “[colonial mentality](http://www.bwf.org/bk/bk1998/98balik4_edit.html)” – that is, this perception that things from the USA are intrinsically better, and that [people with Caucasian blood are to be admired](http://www.pinay.com/cgi-bin/forum_spc_entrepreneurialfilipina.cgi?read=20). ---
**Author:** ![DAbr393032\_aol.com](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3e96dc/32.png) [@DAbr393032\_aol.com](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAbr393032_aol.com)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/69 "2003-09-02T16:26:29Z")
Two reasons; they are all thin (you need to visit Thailand or Hong Kong or any Asian country to see what I mean – which also means they look femanine ): and they still know what it means to be a women. LOL ---
**Author:** ![bbart4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/51bf81/32.png) [@bbart4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbart4)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/70 "2003-09-02T16:42:10Z")
But JThunder, your articles imply snobbery toward foreign goods and/or insecurities; not really of racial inferiority. ---
**Author:** ![bbart4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/51bf81/32.png) [@bbart4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbart4)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/71 "2003-09-02T17:01:17Z")
I know ‘colonial mentality’ still exists in some parts of the world. I know it existed in Indonesia, for instance. Years ago (maybe a decade ago), there were some stories that you could only get good service from Indonesian Airlines if you’re white. But colonial mentality isn’t the same as the feeling of racial inferiority. But this phenomenon is diminishing. It is a fact that in some parts of the world, whites (or westerners) are seen as rich, more advanced, etc. thereby westerners are perceived to have better chance of winning the mating game in the developing world. I am still not convinced that ethnic women seek out whites to go up the “racial ladder.” ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/72 "2003-09-02T17:32:02Z")
Well, according to my wife (who is Chinese), the answer is simply a matter of height preferences: > [@](#): > > Asian women prefer men taller than they are, whereas Asian men prefer women who are shorter than they are. > > Statistically, Asians of both genders are shorter than Caucasians. > > Therefore, it is easier for an Asian woman to find a taller Caucasian man they like than it for an Asian man to find a shorter Caucasian woman. Of course, I keep telling my wife that she cannot make generalized assumptions for over one billion people based solely on her personal experiences, but that doesn’t get me very far… Barry ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/73 "2003-09-02T17:52:35Z")
And I’m apparently not the first person in this thread to bring up the height issue. Sorry about that… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/74 "2003-09-02T18:51:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bbart4 \* > \*\*But JThunder, your articles imply snobbery toward foreign goods and/or insecurities; not really of racial inferiority. \*\* You didn’t read the second link, then. The first article spoke in terms of a general infatuation with things Western – specifically, Western goods. The second article spoke specifically and extensively about harboring admiration toward people with Caucasian blood in them. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/75 "2003-09-02T19:08:19Z")
> [@](#): > > **Crafter\_Man** said: > Suffice to say, I think Asian women, when compared to their Caucasian counterparts in the U.S., are on average… > > - More intelligent > - Less bitchy > - Less spoiled > - More family oriented > - Better looking (especially thinner) > - Have better morals and values > - Less likely to have mental problems Well hot damn, I am glad my being white has obviously made me less intelligent, a total bitch, spoiled, anti-family, uglier and fatter, immoral and mentally ill. Could you throw in a few more racial prejudices, please? You haven’t quite hit my quota of ‘White people are \.’ for the day. The fact may be that your wife is intelligent, not a bitch, not spoiled, family oriented, pretty and thin, has great morals, and a sound mind, but that is not something that is part and parcel with being Asian. It reads like a large list of race based ignorances. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/76 "2003-09-02T20:38:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Space Vampire \* > \*\*Huh? Okay, this is kind of off the main point, but it’s so puzzling I have to say something. I don’t really go for popular music and don’t really watch music videos, but I’ve flipped past a fair number lot of Hong Kong/Taiwanese/Korean MVs, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a white person in one, let alone as “the girl,” and DEFINITELY not more than Asian women. \*\* Lessee… Japanese bands and singers that use mostly white women in their videos… X-Japan, L’arc~en~ciel, Malice Mizer, Gackt, Dir en grey, Buck-tick (they used a black woman in one actually.). That’s what I can think of off of the top of my head. A lot of “Visual Kei” bands have a thing for French women. As for Chinese, one of my friends had a crush on a popular Chinese Pop star. He made me watch all of his music videos. In all of them, white girls were the object of the video except for one where there was a White man harassing an Asian girl. He also had this one video that had this white female cheerleader where he dissed on white men. Koreans, I have seen more female Korean artists than male Korean artists. And one of those female Koreans artists, Harisu, had a white man as the object of love in one of her videos. I think that whites are viewed as all exotic and interesting or something. I can’t imagine any other reason for why I would see so many of them in Asian music videos. ---
**Author:** ![bbart4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/51bf81/32.png) [@bbart4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbart4)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/77 "2003-09-02T21:21:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JThunder \* > \*\*You didn’t read the second link, then. The first article spoke in terms of a general infatuation with things Western – specifically, Western goods. The second article spoke specifically and extensively about harboring admiration toward people with Caucasian blood in them. \*\* You didn’t read my response to the ‘colonial mentality’ phenomenon then. I know very well what ‘colonial mentality’ phenomenon is. Again as I said I just don’t see that as the same as feeling racially inferior. Insecure, probably. Any race can admire and adore another race (culture would make better sense though) without feeling **racially** inferior. What about those suburban white kids who hang around with blacks with their rap music, baggy jeans, chains, etc? They do admire their black friends, I suppose. But I do not take the leap and say that they feel they are racially inferior! ---
**Author:** ![bbart4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/51bf81/32.png) [@bbart4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbart4)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/78 "2003-09-02T21:31:09Z")
JThunder, I apologize that I have to repeat this but I think some didn’t seem to want to read my earlier posts… The cites that I want are the ones that support the following assertions: Kreg said, > [@](#): > > I think ppl should also remember that marrage for social reasons rather then love is much more common in asia then in the west or among westernised asians. Giggle Gaggle said, quote: > [@](#): > > Ethnic women date, mate and marry white men because such behavior is considered to be “moving up the **racial** scale” and encouraged. This is similar to marrying into money, or status, or fame. (Bolding mine) ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/79 "2003-09-02T21:33:48Z")
I most certainly did read your response. I just happened to disagree with it, and cited the article in question as evidence of Asian cultures which **do** misguidedly treat Caucasians as being superior. You also said that “your articles imply snobbery toward foreign goods and/or insecurities; not really of racial inferiority” which is inaccurate. The second article most certainly does talk about how Caucasians are treated as being superior in Filipino culture. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842/80 "2003-09-02T23:51:21Z")
Dunno. White girl here. I’ll ask my Japanese fiance… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-so-many-more-white-male-asian-female-couples/192842.md?page=5)