# Why someone's appearance is simply none of your blasted business...a rant by Jadis. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 27, 2002, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469 "2002-03-27T23:04:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/121 "2002-03-30T13:05:17Z")
Homophobia is so GAY! d&r ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/122 "2002-03-30T13:52:01Z")
I cannot believe I spent time on this, but what the hell. It’s times like this I wish I could have a sock to do my dirty work. > [@](#): > > Apparently from the seminal works on the subject, [The Encycolopedia Horribilis and Tasteless Phrase Book](http://www.faqs.org/faqs/tasteless/phrase-book/): > CHOAD: > Prick. Cock. Dick. ManTool. Vibrating snotmonster. One-eyed trouser > snake. You get the idea. A long-neglected and abused synonym for “penis,” > the word “choad” dates back a good long time. We think maybe it’s from > Middle English but we’re all too damned lazy to check the OED. According > to The Jargon File 4.0.0: > “[I’m not. It isn’t. --ESR] This term is alleged to have been > inherited through 1960s underground comics, and to have been > recently sighted in the Beavis and Butthead cartoons. Speakers > of the Hindi, Bengali and Gujarati languages have confirmed that > `choad' is in fact an Indian vernacular word equivalent to `fuck’; > it is therefore likely to have entered English slang via the > British Raj.” > Anyway, it was kept barely alive somehow, and has achieved a well- > deserved resurrection and re-erection in AT. The tireless literary antics > of David Garrett (garrett@math.rice.edu) and Adam Thornton > ([adam@io.com](mailto:adam@io.com)) have nearly succeeded in revamping the word, bringing > it to its full turgid glory. Beavis and Butthead have been known > to use the word “choad” and the more common compound noun “choadsmoker” > to mean, roughly, “a gobbler of nobs.” The next time you’re about to > casually toss off a reference to a “willy,” a “wankie,” a “dick,” a > “Throbbing PleasureProng ™,” a “Purple-Headed SnotNazi ™,” or a > “schlong,” think again, and substitute the word “choad” instead. Be come > a Friend of the Choad: make it possible for the choad to once again roam > the vocabularies of the world, its head held proudly erect. A choadstool > is then what we call the fungal growth found on an unwashed scrotum. The other definition being offered has much less support; though purely for aesthetic reasons, I prefer it. > [@](#): > > Uncited [slang](http://www.slyrecords.com/slang.week12.html) definition: > Maple Bar- (N), -The area between the genitals and the anus. > See also- taint, choad, fleshy fun bridge, gobbler. Here we see the apparently secondary ‘perineum’ definition. What I find amazing is that so many people will use a word they really don’t understand the meaning for. Usually these are the first people to snort at anyone who questions the word, saying, “Ha! You mean don’t **know**?” C’est la vie with slang. Some words are such inside information that even the insiders don’t know. I’m relatively certain there are words in popular use that _nobody_ has a definition for. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/123 "2002-03-31T01:18:57Z")
:shrug: Hell, it’s a good word, whatever it means. But I’ve never pretended to know its definition . . . that’s part of its appeal, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/124 "2002-03-31T17:43:01Z")
Thank you \*\* Waverly & other dopers \*\* I’m really pleased to have learned a new word.😉 Now, can anyone tell me how to pronounce it? [might come in handy] ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/125 "2002-03-31T18:06:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by käse \* > \*\*Thank you \*\* Waverly & other dopers \*\* > > I’m really pleased to have learned a new word.😉 > > Now, can anyone tell me how to pronounce it? [might come in handy] \*\* Like ‘toad’ wthout the T, and with ‘ch’ as in choo-choo, or chew. I really should remember never to message board without coffee 😉 Mike ---
**Author:** ![jkusters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jkusters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jkusters)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/126 "2002-03-31T18:09:16Z")
Hey, Esprix, You know I love you dearly, but… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > Thus endeth the lesson. Who the f\*ck died and made you “teacher”?? JOhn. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/127 "2002-03-31T18:27:42Z")
Oh for god’s sake, JOhn. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/128 "2002-04-01T01:58:29Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **jkusters** _ > > Who the f\*ck died and made you “teacher”?? As a student of Zen, surely you understand that we are all teachers… Esprix ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/129 "2002-04-01T02:19:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jkusters \* > \*\*Hey, Esprix, > > You know I love you dearly, but… > > Who the f\*ck died and made you “teacher”?? > > JOhn. \*\* Isn’t the best way to fight ignorance by teaching? Besides, it sure beats whining. ---
**Author:** ![Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nenya_Elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/130 "2002-04-01T13:00:56Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by iampunha_ > Hi, I’m Patrick, and I would have little trouble, if any, carrying Jadis up a flight of stairs. You can take a look at my pic on the sd people pages ([http://geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/iampunha.html](http://geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/iampunha.html)) and see just how horribly out-of-shape I am. [hijack] Oooh, cutie!!! Now, _where_ did I meet your identical twin? This is weird, but you look familiar…and yummy of course… 😃 But you’ve already got a girlfriend, am I right? All the cute ones do, or are gay, which adds up to the same thing. Drat. (Secret Doper Crush ensues) [/hijack] PS. I’ve been wondering for weeks: how does the name **iampunha** break down, or what does it mean? “I am pun, ha” is the closest I can get. ??? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/131 "2002-04-02T03:53:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nenya\_Elizabeth \* > \*\* (Secret Doper Crush…) > \*\* Not anymore… :eek: jayjay ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/132 "2002-04-02T22:35:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*[T]hey should all be put on an island Like, oh I dunno … maybe Key West? I’ll volunteer if its a really nice island in the Caribbean. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/133 "2002-04-02T23:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*Like, oh I dunno … maybe Key West? I’ll volunteer if its a really nice island in the Caribbean. \*\* Nah…Key West is already full up with happy homos. Maybe cut a channel across the neck of Cape Cod and put them all in P-town in the off-season? 😃 jayjay ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/134 "2002-04-03T20:51:01Z")
I think **Esprix** is, by referring to said island, just trying to weasel his way into a contentant spot on “Gay Survivor.” ---
**Author:** ![LiquidLobotomy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LiquidLobotomy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiquidLobotomy)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/135 "2002-04-03T21:15:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*It’s against God’s law, and they should all be put on an island or something somewhere. \*\* I thought they did? What about “Fire Island” in New York? hehehehe 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469/136 "2002-04-03T21:59:38Z")
Esprix, you took the words right out of my mouth, only I was gonna try it with black people. And asians. and the elderly. And people with cancer. They just don’t make me _comfortable_, you know? They make me sick. Of course, I’d never say that in public! Of course not! I am just telling you that when I look at black people and asian people and old people and cancer victims, I wanna PUKE. I wish they’d stay home so people like me would not have to be confronted with their vile blackness, their almond-shaped eyes, their wrinkles, their hairlessness. I hope you all admire me for having the guts to honestly confess what other bigots are too shy to say. I can’t believe the way you jump all over our cases when we are simply expressing our opinions! And you don’t even know me, so don’t judge me. And don’t give me that shit that this is different because fat fucks can change their condition while these examples can’t. Haven’t those elderly bags of putridness ever heard of wrinkle cream? I mean, if they’d just make a little more effort, it’d be easier on the rest of us!! Black people could at least wear their hair in more “white” styles so they’d blend in better. For that matter, I’ve heard there is surgery to remove the fold in asian eyelids. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-someones-appearance-is-simply-none-of-your-blasted-business-a-rant-by-jadis/100469.md?page=6)