# why teleportation would suck **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 27, 2000, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357 "2000-12-27T08:14:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/21 "2000-12-28T01:03:51Z")
If i had a little tiny TP, one that i could keep hidden, say, in the palm of my hand. And someone was to invite me over to their house. It would be really, really easy for me to steal all their silverware. Upham ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/22 "2000-12-28T01:30:12Z")
We were all going to have flying cars by now, too, as I recall. Though the power to teleport would render them redundant, I suppose. Perhaps, since we’re creating matter, the top-of-the-line teleporter could give one the power to multilocate. You could set limits – like make the double time-sensitive, so it would self-destruct after it got all your work done, that sort of thing. Though I’m afraid that raises some ethical questions. [sub]I think Upham is adorable.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/23 "2000-12-28T01:37:28Z")
If i had a teleporter right now i’d teleport my way on over to where ever Catrandom is and thank who ever they are for finding me adorable. Unless they were being sarcastic, in which case i’d just have to teleport my nekkid ass Upham the Adorable ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/24 "2000-12-28T01:43:05Z")
\No sarcasm, I just happen to think you’re very cute.\ ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/25 "2000-12-28T01:48:18Z")
damnit, where’s my teleporter when i need it… Upham ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/26 "2000-12-28T02:48:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AtomicDog \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > > \*\ ***Ray Bradbury** wrote a story about a society that had Doors. Capital D. These were teleporters, and one day one of them broke down. A young boy had to _walk_ to school. After being outside for the first time in his life, he decided he _liked_ Outside. Even after the Door was fixed, he still preferred to use the door (lowercase d). Everyone decided that he must, therefore, be insane. > > > > I don’t remember how it ended. > > > > \*\* > > Actually, I think that was an Asimov story. It fit right in with his claustrophilic tendancies. \*\* That’s right. The story is called “It’s Such a Beautiful Day,” and I originally read it in the book _The Best Science Fiction of Issac Asimov_ (Signet paperback 451-AE5196. The story has been published elsewhere, though I don’t know where offhand.) In the story, the doctor who was called in to examine the boy, who was thought crazy for not wanting to use the Doors. At the end of the story, the doctor decides to venture outside himself. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/27 "2000-12-28T05:18:29Z")
Larry Niven gave considerable thought to the subject in his essay, “Exercise in Speculation: the Theory and Practice of Teleportation” published in a collection called \* All the Myriad Ways\*. For his fictional stories about how teleportation would affect society, _A Hole in Space_ contains several short stories: “The Alibi Machine”, “The Last Days of the Permanent Floating Riot Club”, “A _Kind_ of Murder”, and “All the Bridges Rusting”. ---
**Author:** ![MattTheCroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/439d5e/32.png) [@MattTheCroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MattTheCroc)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/28 "2000-12-28T08:57:39Z")
_The Jaunt_, by Stephen King had a really nice take… but I worked out the ending because I realised I’d read about it here on the SDMB previously 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MattTheCroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/439d5e/32.png) [@MattTheCroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MattTheCroc)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/29 "2000-12-28T08:59:17Z")
Actually, I _should_ say, I **remembered** the ending… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/30 "2000-12-28T16:11:28Z")
Damn! ALL of my classic SF is in boxes in the basement. Now I’m gonna have to go down there to dig up and re-read all of these stories. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/31 "2000-12-28T20:05:49Z")
> [@](#): > > I TP to the other side of the planet and get smeared against the wall because I’m travelling at 10000mph in the wrong direction. Huh, I had never thought of conservation of momentum in terms of teleportation. Has anybody devised systems (in fiction, or course) takin this into account? jb ---
**Author:** ![Alatariel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Alatariel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alatariel)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/32 "2000-12-28T21:35:02Z")
Another book that explores an entire society based on teleportation is The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester. It’s an innate ability in all humans in the novel, and he extrapolates the changes in security, the status of women, and a bunch of other things. It’s a good book. ---
**Author:** ![KP235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@KP235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP235)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/33 "2000-12-28T22:21:24Z")
You know what else would be bad ? You get in your teleporter, and say a fly got in there with you, and while you’re going through your DNA and the fly’s DNA get combined, and you don’t notice at first. Actually, you feel really good at first, then all sorts of gross things slowly start happening to you, like losing your teeth and nails and ears and such as you turn in to a fly. That, and your girlfriend gives birth to a maggot. That would be bad. ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/34 "2000-12-28T22:39:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jb\_farley \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > I TP to the other side of the planet and get smeared against the wall because I’m travelling at 10000mph in the wrong direction. > > Huh, I had never thought of conservation of momentum in terms of teleportation. Has anybody devised systems (in fiction, or course) takin this into account? > > jb \*\* Niven’s stories do. IIRC, the excess energy is shunted into surge tanks at the recieving end. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/35 "2000-12-28T22:47:17Z")
Mojo Jojo, what an intriguing and original concept!! You ought to develop a screenplay treatment of that and try selling it to Hollywood! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/36 "2000-12-28T23:06:41Z")
Ha! I just finished Michael Crichton’s Timeline, which is about teleporting across TIME! Woo-hoo! Got a lot of quantum physics mumbo-jumbo in it-- some really weird “science” --but it’s actually a pretty good story, for him. It actually seems like a novel that he might have written for it’s own sake instead of what multi-million dollar block-buster movie can be made from it. I wasn’t going to read it because I think he’s a hack, but a friend convinced me and I actually enjoyed it. ---
**Author:** ![KP235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@KP235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP235)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/37 "2000-12-28T23:20:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*Mojo Jojo, what an intriguing and original concept!! You ought to develop a screenplay treatment of that and try selling it to Hollywood! :rolleyes: \*\* You know, I’ve thought about that. I even have a couple of different versions. In the first version just the arm and the head of the fly and man get switched, and in the end they find the fly with the mans head and smash it with a rock just before it gets eaten by a spyder. What 'd ya think ??? (Actually, I was just supprised that I was the first one to get a ‘The Fly’ reference in this thread!) ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/38 "2000-12-28T23:27:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Mojo Jojo, what an intriguing and original concept!! Jaw-droppingly! jb ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/39 "2000-12-29T02:46:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Huh, I had never thought of conservation of momentum in terms of teleportation. Has anybody devised systems (in fiction, or course) takin this into account? Larry Niven addressed this: Teleport north or south, and when you materialize, the difference in velocity vectors slams you into the wall. Teleport eastward, and you get thrown toward the ceiling. Teleport westward, and you get pressed toward the floor. Upward or downward, and you have to compensate for the difference in gravitational potential energy. Niven figured that it would show up as heat. Move up, and your temperature drops. Move down, your temperature rises. He figured that teleporters would be limited to short distances until they figured out how to add or subtract energy and momentum during the jump. ---
**Author:** ![Tzel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Tzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzel)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2000, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357/40 "2000-12-29T04:49:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MattTheCroc \* > \*\*_The Jaunt_, by Stephen King had a really nice take… but I worked out the ending because I realised I’d read about it here on the SDMB previously 😉 \*\* That was a cool story. Probably the only Stephen King production that actually kind of scared me. Just the thought of it, geez. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-teleportation-would-suck/47357.md?page=1)