# Why the fuck are you messaging me? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 12, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908 "2003-03-12T19:26:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/21 "2003-03-12T22:15:25Z")
I used to get quite a few random messages from women looking for conversation… I think it was the description in my profile that said I was happily married that really got them interested. There have been a few people who were genuinely looking for information pertaining to rehabilitaion and those requests I don’t mind as I’m always happy to answer questions if they can help someone out. One lady actually gave me enough information about herself that I was able to track down where she lived and describe how to get to her house… although I said it in the nicest way she never called back. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/22 "2003-03-12T22:21:01Z")
**Feynn** , you running a rehab program for fountain pen freaks? Sorry, just couldn’t resist that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/23 "2003-03-13T01:15:29Z")
Thea, I have Yahoo Messenger also, and for some bizarre reason, I kept getting hit on by “swingers”. Yuck, THAT’S right, couples who wanted me to join them. (And I do NOT "look like’ the swinging type, I’m a very PollyAnna, innocent looking type). And a lot of them “intro’d” themselves by saying something like “we’re a married couple, wanna join us”? (Only in not such polite terminology) I mean JEEEZ, not even a “Hello” first!! I put my YIM on private and haven’t been bothered by strangers since. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/24 "2003-03-13T01:29:09Z")
I don’t use Yahoo messenger, and I have very few people on my AIM Buddy list, which is fine. However, on ICQ, I’m always set up as available for messaging. I’ve met some of the most interesting people - one man in Scotland has been an online friend for something like 6 years. I know what you mean about people not reading your info - I state specifically that I’m only interested in clean chat, yet I get men who want to cyber. It’s really pathetic. I’ll either play dumb or I’ll not answer at all. They get bored pretty fast. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/25 "2003-03-13T02:04:34Z")
Whenever I get a random IM, I usually ignore it, especially if the person doesn’t identify himself or herself. I’m sorry, but when someone who uses the screen name “I Had To Fart” IM’s me, with no profile, and doesn’t tell me just who in Sam Hill they are, I’m not very inclined to be chatty. Heck, I don’t talk all that much with people that I _already_ know. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/26 "2003-03-13T03:54:12Z")
Well, it’s official, none of my profiles are in the directory, yet I just got another random IM. What is with these people? I’m actually starting to enjoy being mean to the people who IM me despite the fact that I am not listed in the directory and have stated in no uncertain terms that I don’t want to be messaged by strangers. I wonder what goes through peoples minds when they do this. Is it some kind of masochistic streak? “Hey, I think I’ll find a profile of someone who doesn’t want to be messaged and jerk off while they verbally abuse me!” I can’t believe I just thought that. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/27 "2003-03-13T05:42:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*You’re eleven? How _you_ doin’? > > :eek: \*\* yeah,yeah when do you turn 12?:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ewww ---
**Author:** ![Sapphire\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sapphire\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/28 "2003-03-13T06:10:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thea Logica \* > “Hey, I think I’ll find a profile of someone who doesn’t want to be messaged and jerk off while they verbally abuse me!” > > I can’t believe I just thought that. I can’t believe you just thought that either. 😉 I use YIM only to talk to my niece on the voice chat…I stay invisible. No muss, no fuss, no annoyances. I used to get them on AIM all the time…mostly inviting me to watch “hot young horny babes.” Please. Shoot me now. Your best bet is just to automatically put the offenders on the “ignore” list and be done with them. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Doubt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Peter\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Doubt)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/29 "2003-03-13T06:22:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*You’re eleven? How _you_ doin’? > > :eek: \*\* I guess that just works on the typical perv messaging me. Didn’t quite know what I was stepping into _here_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/30 "2003-03-13T06:26:21Z")
It’s almost got to the point where I can’t tell what’s complete spam and what’s a person. “Hi - you say you like Terry Pratchett - my favorite author Robert Rankin - have you tried him.” is probably a person, "Hi - have you seen my new webcam? I’m naked’ probably isn’t But “Hi - I like stuff? Do you? Let’s chat” is WTF? ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/31 "2003-03-13T06:38:24Z")
The ex used to leave whichever IM program she was using on, and I’d occasionally find myself fending off people who wanted to chat with no real clue as to whether they were friends of hers or not. I generally just closed it without replying if that was the case. Rude, maybe, but not personal and easy enough to explain. One day a message popped up: “Big tits?” I decided that this was not one of her online friends, as anybody she’d spend any great amount of time chatting with would either already know the answer or have capitalized both words if they were using it as a nickname. I decided that honesty was the best policy and replied “No, but my wife has.” I waited, but there was no reply. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/32 "2003-03-13T11:09:47Z")
The strangest message I ever got was “so u like coyotes?”. I was about to disconnect, so I did and never asked what he meant. One of the great regrets of my life. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/33 "2003-03-13T11:27:40Z")
Heh. When I was using various IM services, I’d enjoy chatting with completely random people. It was a way to see what’s happening in the head of a complete stranger without any of the risks usually consequent. I agree that if your profile says you don’t want people to randomly message you, people should respect that, but otherwise, well, the software designers allowed people to contact people from outside their buddy lists for a reason. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/34 "2003-03-13T11:49:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sender \* > \*\*I guess that just works on the typical perv messaging me. Didn’t quite know what I was stepping into _here_. 😃 \*\* We do aim to please. Some of us just aim below puberty, that’s all. Huh. I think we’re back to **Tony Montana** ’s “ewww.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/35 "2003-03-17T08:24:02Z")
OK, so I edited my profiles, all of 'em, and unchecked “Add to directory”, which, I guess means I’m not in the directory anymore, right? I’m still getting messaged. Not as much as I used to, but dammit, I still get these random creepy messages. From people who somehow found my profile, which is not in the directory, and which has a very distinct message saying I do not want to be messaged by strangers. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/36 "2003-03-17T16:50:21Z")
Personally, I quit using instant messaging a long time ago because this Jennifer Lopez person kept trying to get me to look at her naked pictures… ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/37 "2003-03-17T20:43:25Z")
Ah, good - [I’m not the only one this happens to](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=98687). 😃 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/38 "2003-03-17T20:54:40Z")
You think the reqests are bad when you’re on an IM type that someone has to know your name beforehand to contact you, you should see the weirdos that’ll talk to you on IRC. They join a channel you’re on, and all of a sudden you’re getting messages from some 14 year-old guy in Indonesia who wants to give you a virtual rimjob while you call him a little bitch slut. For the first month I was on IRC I had a ‘female’ nick. And then I changed it and have been gender-unknown for 9 years to try to avoid it. And I still get people messaging for all kind of werid crap. One who did it I managed to figure out was some sort of under-cover person posing as a kid. Started talkin to me about Pokemon and all of a sudden wanted to know if I’d fist him. Yeah, so many 11 year-old kid is really gonna be on IRC asking to be fisted, officer. It’s the Internet. Weirdos abound. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908/39 "2003-03-17T21:57:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priceguy \* > \*\*The strangest message I ever got was “so u like coyotes?”. > > I was about to disconnect, so I did and never asked what he meant. One of the great regrets of my life. \*\* Undoubtedly a marginally literate person who wanted to know if you followed University of South Dakota sports teams. You avoided a lot of dullness there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-are-you-messaging-me/160908.md?page=1)