# Why the fuck do I read mommy boards? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 19, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847 "2011-09-19T18:05:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/41 "2011-09-20T17:29:59Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > I’m just back from taking Mimi to Baby Story Time at the library. Turns out that the mom who never uses a playpen, ever, has also never given her eight-month-old a bottle, ever. Just nursing. > > She brought her husband along and henpecked him about where to sit, how to sit, how to participate in the games and songs. > > I’m gonna be charitable and say she’s not a psycho bitch, she’s just fucking _exhausted_ from living up to her own stupid expectations. There are women with motherhood as their life’s calling. Then there are women who _make_ motherhood their life’s calling. Those are the scary ones. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/42 "2011-09-20T19:39:39Z")
When I look at parenting boards, I’m not surprised when I hear things like “test scores declining” or “US ranks 50th in the world in…” Kids stand no chance if these people are their parents. I say that generously, the parents are getting in the way of the potential of their children with all of their own unpreparedness, neuroses, cult-like beliefs on truly trivial issues and the lot. The more it proliferates, the more frightening it is. Points to the SDMB parents for not being amongst the hordes, seriously. > [@Duke](#): > > Apparently it’s some madness called the “paleo diet”, which claims that if we all just ate like cavemen, our illnesses would cure themselves. Yeah, I’m buying this. The paleo diet doesn’t advocate only liver and bone broth, though. It’s simply no dairy, no grain, with a focus on clean proteins, fresh fruit and vegetables. For people with the one-two whammy of gluten sensitivity and lactose issues (that co-exist with high frequency because the problems lay in the same anatomical features of the gut) it’s quite sensible. For everyone else… it’s a weight loss fad, mostly. ---
**Author:** ![runcible\_spoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc29f/32.png) [@runcible\_spoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runcible_spoon)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/43 "2011-09-20T20:57:09Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > I often wonder what the male version of henpecking would be. Cock-spurring? > > Hard to picture a human equivalent. > > Enjoy, > Steven Chris Brown? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/44 "2011-09-20T21:44:08Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > _Jesus_, what a bunch of whiny, illiterate, emo _children!_ This place has spoiled me. Here at the dope, we’re a bunch of whiny, illiterate, emo _grown ups!_ ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/45 "2011-09-20T22:04:53Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > Here at the dope, we’re a bunch of whiny, illiterate, emo _grown ups!_ Whom are you calling illiterate? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/46 "2011-09-20T22:55:28Z")
Ooo! Mommy boards! What do you want to fight about? Breastfeeding? (Remember, the only two possible stances are ‘Breastfeeding is actually not one iota better for anything than bottlefeeding, because I know a breastfed kid who has eczema’ and ‘Anyone who has ever owned formula is a terrible parent’!) Vaccination? (Remember, just because it’s been shown to be nonsense doesn’t mean it isn’t true!) Stay-at-home versus working mothers? (Remember, either way you’re a selfish bint whose kid is being scarred for life!) You choose! (But I have to ask…what’s weird about not having given your eight-month-old a bottle? I tried Widget on bottles a couple of times, she didn’t think they were for eating, and I didn’t care enough to keep trying. She had solids and everything, just no bottles. What’s the biggie?) ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/47 "2011-09-20T23:42:54Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > The worst mommy board of all is Motheringdotcommune. They promote all kinds of craziness including unassisted home birthing for twins and anti-vax nonsense. You’ll lose brain cells just reading there. My God. (shudder) I had to go read it. ---
**Author:** ![OneMissedPost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@OneMissedPost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneMissedPost)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/48 "2011-09-20T23:45:31Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > Here at the dope, we’re a bunch of whiny, illiterate, emo _grown ups!_ How can we post on a message-board if we are illiterate? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/49 "2011-09-21T00:10:45Z")
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**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/50 "2011-09-21T01:56:23Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > hgwehfhh f fHJK DFhj fHKhju3i7 hejlkjl J EF HJKfhcbmnc b dbshgj gj L L HLH SDHJ8WY3892 9282 38 AXHJ JAKLC N M,n no u ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/51 "2011-09-21T03:44:53Z")
> [@Ann\_Onimous](#): > > My God. (shudder) I had to go read it. Don’t ever do that again. Thankfully _Mothering_ magazine is no longer in print. Unfortunately the evil message board lives on. Every single time the subject of vaccines come up some idiot inevitably pulls a huge pile of awful bullshit from that place. I swear they’re worse than the pro-ana boards. At least if you try to starve yourself to death you’re not contagious. Mothering is filled with people who argue in favor of whooping cough, measles and uping your odds of both you and your infant dying in childbirth. > [@](#): > > [The Skeptical OB: Mothering.com: more than 20 preventable homebirth deaths in 2 years](http://skepticalob.blogspot.com/2011/05/motheringcom-more-than-20-preventable.html) > > For a two year period, I kept track of the homebirth deaths to determine just how frequent they are. In the years 2007-2008, there were more than 20 preventable homebirth deaths on Mothering. com, as well as additional cases of anoxic brain damage. Keep in mind that these are the cases that were reported; there may have been more. Crazy fucking assholes. I’m not a believer in censorship but that website ought to be shut down as a public health menace. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/52 "2011-09-21T04:51:11Z")
> [@OneMissedPost](#): > > How can we post on a message-board if we are illiterate? Just go into your User Control Panel and change your Language setting to “Pictographs”. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/53 "2011-09-21T05:16:18Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Don’t ever do that again. Thankfully _Mothering_ magazine is no longer in print. Unfortunately the evil message board lives on. Every single time the subject of vaccines come up some idiot inevitably pulls a huge pile of awful bullshit from that place. I swear they’re worse than the pro-ana boards. At least if you try to starve yourself to death you’re not contagious. > > Mothering is filled with people who argue in favor of whooping cough, measles and uping your odds of both you and your infant dying in childbirth. > > Crazy fucking assholes. I’m not a believer in censorship but that website ought to be shut down as a public health menace. It’s a terrible thing, but I do wish that these people would have the decency to die quickly, without infecting others with The Stupid. Because apparently stupidity IS contagious, and it’s spread by these MBs, among other vectors. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/54 "2011-09-21T05:44:24Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > Crazy fucking assholes. I’m not a believer in censorship but that website ought to be shut down as a public health menace. Jesus. That link is chilling. I spent some time on MDC for a while – don’t stone me! I was new to this whole parenting/pregnancy thing and someone told me they had a good breastfeeding forum so I checked it out and mostly spent time in my Due Date club or whatever. It took me a while to realize the full extent of the crazy infesting those boards. Gestational diabetes is a myth, hospitals are evil, obstetricians are the devil, formula is also the devil, strollers are the Norse devil, just to change things up a little, cribs are where the devil keeps his little devil playthings, and swings are called “neglect-o-matics.” (Though to be fair, I found this name so hilarious that MrWhatsit and I started exclusively using it, as in, “Hey, can you get the baby out of the neglect-o-matic? I think he’s hungry.”) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/55 "2011-09-21T06:59:44Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > So there aren’t any good boards about parenting at all? From what I read here, I think IMHO may actually be better than what’s out there… at least in IMHO you can read what people write. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/56 "2011-09-21T09:48:43Z")
Lately my wife has been seeing this rubbish. [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20464264/ns/health-childrens\_health/t/diaper-free-babies-fad-swells-despite-critics](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20464264/ns/health-childrens_health/t/diaper-free-babies-fad-swells-despite-critics) ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/57 "2011-09-21T12:22:31Z")
> [@Elret](#): > > Seriously, there seems to be no parenting decision too petty that you cannot be doing it so wrong that your child will be forever damaged. In fact, posting this will cost your child his professional career. You are a terrible parent. > [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Our local zoo recently prepared [birthday treats](http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/GreatCats/LionUpdates/firstbirthday.cfm) for its lion cubs when they turned one year old. They consisted of “ice, two whole cow femurs cut in half, five pounds of shaved beef, and a half-gallon of cow blood.” (link includes pics). When the cubs were shaking the boxes there was a kid crying somewhere. My sick, sick mind thought “cool, there are babies in the boxes”. 🙂 > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Jesus. That link is chilling. > > I spent some time on MDC for a while – don’t stone me! > > [snip] > > … and swings are called “neglect-o-matics.” When I was pregnant/new mom I got a bunch of these magazines from a friend of a friend (who swears by homeopathy), trust me, I lost enough brain cells reading those. I am not going to visit that link and kill the remaining ones. And we had a swing, dammit. I should have known that name, it’s cool. 🙂 I have been here in these boards for 10 years (posting) and more lurking. If dopers cannot answer my question I probably do not like to know the answer. Most boards are full of semi-literate people. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/58 "2011-09-21T12:45:08Z")
> [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > (But I have to ask…what’s weird about not having given your eight-month-old a bottle? I tried Widget on bottles a couple of times, she didn’t think they were for eating, and I didn’t care enough to keep trying. She had solids and everything, just no bottles. What’s the biggie?) Because what you’re talking about is completely different from what she’s talking about. You HAVE given your baby a bottle, she just didn’t take it. This woman was proudly preening herself over the fact that she’s never ever once not in eight months been so selfish and abusive as to try to feed her precious baby from ANYTHING except her holy boobs. Capice? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/59 "2011-09-21T13:33:54Z")
Oh, that’s the other thing I loved about MDC and other similar boards. Anything you do as a parent that doesn’t exactly conform to their fucked-up philosophy is “abusive.” Giving a bottle = abusive. Putting your baby in one of those bucket carrier things = abusive. Even owning a neglect-o-matic should garner you a call from CPS…except not really, because most of the people on these forums hate and fear CPS. A common topic of discussion is “What to do if you get a visit from CPS.” I wish I were kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847/60 "2011-09-21T14:21:36Z")
> [@tnetennba](#): > > Lately my wife has been seeing this rubbish. [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20464264/ns/health-childrens\_health/t/diaper-free-babies-fad-swells-despite-critics](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20464264/ns/health-childrens_health/t/diaper-free-babies-fad-swells-despite-critics) Ha! When my wife was pregnant we were discussing various parenting options and this one came up. And I laughed. And laughed. And laughed. And laughed. And said no. And then laughed some more. Sometimes I bring the suggestion up to her just to rile her a bit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-do-i-read-mommy-boards/596847.md?page=4)