# Why the fuck is this thing so slow?? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 11, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687 "2002-03-11T21:26:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/1 "2002-03-11T21:26:07Z")
Well, why is it? I’m glad the SDMB is back from the abiss, but why oh why is it so slow? Is this just temporary until things “settle down”, or is this it? ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/2 "2002-03-11T21:42:58Z")
Oooh, I dunno, 5,000 desperate returning Dopers, frantically attempting to find out how bad the damage is could have some small impact… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/3 "2002-03-11T21:48:07Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m glad the SDMB is back from the abiss, but why oh why is it so slow? Trade, have you ever tried to push a pumpkin up your ass? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/4 "2002-03-11T21:49:12Z")
It’s my fault, i dumped some Krazy glue in the server by accident, sorry:( ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/5 "2002-03-11T22:00:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Trade, have you ever tried to push a pumpkin up your ass? \*\* You’ve been spying on me, havn’t you? :eek: (It was only a small pumpkin, nothing to brag about…) ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/6 "2002-03-11T22:05:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tisiphone \* > \*\*Oooh, I dunno, 5,000 desperate returning Dopers, frantically attempting to find out how bad the damage is could have some small impact… \*\* That’s what I hope it is, tisiphone. I am desparately trying to convince myself that it will speed up. The temporary board was much faster, and so is Fathom (where a bunch of us hung out during outages, and some of us desided to stay after the SDMB return). I know there must be some slowness due to sheer volume at this time, I’m just hoping it ain’t gonna be like this for long!! ---
**Author:** ![shawa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@shawa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shawa)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/7 "2002-03-11T22:08:17Z")
I thought it was because I was only able to connect today at 26,400 bps :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/8 "2002-03-11T23:19:24Z")
And while we’re at it why the fuck does my gift horse have gums that are so receded? ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2002, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/9 "2002-03-11T23:40:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alphagene \* > \*\*And while we’re at it why the fuck does my gift horse have gums that are so receded? \*\* That’s what ya get for looking in its mouth 😉 Mike, who lost all 10 of his posts in his former life. Hi, I’m new… hurt me 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Unix\_Geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unix_geek/32/19368_2.png) [@Unix\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unix_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/10 "2002-03-12T00:56:19Z")
You know they upgraded the bulletin board server to a screaming PII-266 with 32MB of memory!!! Much faster than the 486SX that it used to be on. Must be the bloated code from Jelsoft!! ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/11 "2002-03-12T01:27:51Z")
Quitcher Bitchen. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/12 "2002-03-12T18:17:20Z")
No, I have to agree. The temp board was much faster. I think I’ll wander over to the tech board and see if there’s any answers up there…I’ll probably be there in about a week or two. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/13 "2002-03-12T19:03:09Z")
[…knocking on ivylass’s skull…] Answers? You don’t know the answer? I’ll give you a hint. If 5,000 cars tried to merge at once onto the Sonny Bono Memorial Freeway there in Orlando, what would happen? […what’s that echo?..] ---
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/14 "2002-03-12T19:10:05Z")
I don’t get all this 5,000 users makes it slow crap. Plenty of web-sites get lots of traffic and they don’t constantly suck when trying to load a page. OMG, 5,000 people just tried to use Google! It’s going to slow to a crawl for sure. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/15 "2002-03-12T19:11:32Z")
Not that I agree with the people who are whinning but I very much doubt there has every been anywhere near 5k logged onto or viewing this site site at anyone time. The site’s been slow constantly for me even in the morning when the majority of you Yanks are in dreamland. I know that the baords only back and there are issues with it and it’s a free site blah blah blah but it has been slow. I’m not complaining and until I pay for this service I won’t. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/16 "2002-03-12T19:23:59Z")
Debaser, see Unix Geek’s post above. He’s exaggerating, of course. I’m sure the SDMB server is at least a 333 MHz PII with at least 64 MB of RAM. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/17 "2002-03-12T20:15:59Z")
> [@](#): > > OMG, 5,000 people just tried to use Google! It’s going to slow to a crawl for sure. Moron. > [@](#): > > I’m not complaining and until I pay for this service I won’t. An eminently sensible attitude. ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/18 "2002-03-12T21:01:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alphagene \* > \*\*And while we’re at it why the fuck does my gift horse have gums that are so receded? \*\* Gimme a break, alpha. I understand computers/internet/bandwidth/too many fuckin’ people like me tryintousededamnthingallatonce issues. I am not complaining about the service provided here by the Reader in any way, or bitching about gift horse’s gums. What I am saying is, I enjoy this place, and I wish I could get at the threads quicker so I could read more of them. I don’t miminize the difficulty of running this thing with no budget. If you didn’t catch that sentiment before, I hope it’s abundatly clear now. NOW SPEED THE FUCKER UP!! ---
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/19 "2002-03-12T21:16:18Z")
Hey, I’m with **yojimbo**. I would be happy to pay for this service if it meant speeding it up a little. I was just pointing out that everyone seems defensive about this. I know we all love the boards, but c’mon admit it: **They are way too slow!** And everyone claiming that 5,000 users are this huge burden is just stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687/20 "2002-03-12T21:47:08Z")
> [@](#): > > And everyone claiming that 5,000 users are this huge burden is just stupid. No, you’re stupid. This ain’t rocket science. The bandwidth is too much for the server. That’s obvious. And there isn’t any other explanation. So, stop staring, and eat your checkers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-fuck-is-this-thing-so-slow/97687.md?page=2)