# Why the hate for "Last Action Hero"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 5, 2010, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336 "2010-08-05T21:43:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/61 "2010-08-07T16:23:45Z")
I hope I never get too old to appreciate the cinematic masterpiece that is Commando get out of the theater, grampa ---
**Author:** ![Avumede](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/avumede/32/7235_2.png) [@Avumede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avumede)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/62 "2010-08-07T17:21:32Z")
Commando might not be a very good action movie, but it features Arnold at his funniest. It’s really a must-watch. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/63 "2010-08-07T18:41:08Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > there is no room for plot in the action-packed explosion films of the 80s The genre of plotless action films continues on with _The Transporter_ series. And the _Rush Hour_ series. And _The Transformer_ series. And _The Fast & the Furious_ series. And the _Pitch Black_ series. And the _District 13_ series. And _The Punisher_ series. And the _Iron Man_ series. And _The Predator_ series. And the _Rambo_ series continues on and on. You can argue that spme of them have plots, but they boil down to three choices: 1. Bad guys chase good guy, and he kills them. 1 a) Good guy recues people from bad guys, who start chasing good guy, and he kills them. 2. Good guy hunts bad guys down, and he kills them. And shit. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/64 "2010-08-07T20:12:38Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > > [@Nava](#): > > > > An example of the ways in which the distributors/producers lost dollars by saving pennies: > > In Spain it is customary to “assign” voice actors, so that for example the same guy dubbed Groucho Marx in all his movies; the dubbed voice may or may not be similar to the original but it is consistant. Schwarzenegger had hit the jackpot of voiceover actors: Constantino Romero, whose voice is pretty much a guarantee that the character will be considered atractive, someone to imitate, a leader… (there has been at least one PhD thesis on the effect of CR’s voice on box office results) > > Yeah, that LAH failed at the (_gasp_) Spanish market had disastrous, disastrous consequences, of course. Jees, that’s snarky - she’s just offering a different perspective. Worldwide box-office does count, and Spanish dubbing would cover most of South and Central America as well as Spain (which isn’t exactly tiny). ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/65 "2010-08-07T20:59:14Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > It also features a severe lack of imagnination. > > The bad guy has a magic ticket he can use to bring forth any movie villain in history, and he gets… some bald guy with an axe. Why not Godzilla? Yeah, but that bald guy happens to be death himself. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/66 "2010-08-07T21:09:09Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > By you, maybe. > > There were some excellent action movies in the 80’s - _Terminator, Aliens, Die Hard,_ the \*Indiana Jones \*films. \*They’ll \*be remembered forever, but cheese like _Commando_? Nobody who wasn’t 10 when it came out still cares about it. Commando was the epitome of Reagan era, “blow shit up real good,” cinematic awesomeness. Arnie delivering killer one liners: Check. Villain with his own private island lair and small Latin American army: Check. Said villain played by a scenery chewing character actor (in this case Dan Hedaya, aka Nick Tortelli): Check. The hero performing seemingly impossible stunts like jumping from an airliner right as its taking off (sans parachute of course): Check. The hero making creative use of weapons (like using circular saw blades as throwing stars): Check. Sure, it’s way over the top, but it’s one of those films where if you’re willing to turn your brain off for an hour and a half and just go along for the ride, you’re going to have a blast. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/67 "2010-08-07T21:09:13Z")
> [@joebuck20](#): > > > [@Alessan](#): > > > > It also features a severe lack of imagnination. > > > > The bad guy has a magic ticket he can use to bring forth any movie villain in history, and he gets… some bald guy with an axe. Why not Godzilla? > > Yeah, but that bald guy happens to be death himself. No, he meant the other bald guy. The dumb one. Death was cool. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/68 "2010-08-07T21:21:49Z")
Death was Ian Fuckin’ McKellen. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/69 "2010-08-07T21:22:19Z")
> [@Avumede](#): > > Commando might not be a very good action movie, but it features Arnold at his funniest. It’s really a must-watch. Eh, let it go, already. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/70 "2010-08-07T21:24:03Z")
I went in understanding it was a parody and still disliked it. Just because something is satire doesn’t mean it gets a pass for having a bad script. The film was poorly paced, had a shitty, irritating protagonist, wasn’t well acted, and the jokes weren’t as funny as they should have been. It would have been a much better movie if it had been closer to the original idea. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/71 "2010-08-07T21:31:51Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > > [@joebuck20](#): > > > > Yeah, but that bald guy happens to be death himself. > > No, he meant the other bald guy. The dumb one. Death was cool. You’re right. I forgot about him. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/72 "2010-08-08T00:00:58Z")
Another thought: they aimed at two different audiences, and both hated half the film. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/73 "2010-08-08T00:19:48Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > It also features a severe lack of imagnination. > > The bad guy has a magic ticket he can use to bring forth any movie villain in history, and he gets… some bald guy with an axe. Why not Godzilla? Because the bald guy with an axe KILLED SLATER’S SON. Benedict was going for what would torture Slater the most. Godzilla, while cool, could never have affected Jack Slater like getting The Ripper. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/74 "2010-08-08T02:21:07Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > Godzilla, while cool, could never have affected Jack Slater like getting The Ripper. Well, Godzilla coulda stepped on him. I say advantage: Godzilla. ---
**Author:** ![happycamper\_5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cab0a1/32.png) [@happycamper\_5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happycamper_5)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/75 "2010-08-09T03:19:44Z")
What about the woefully underrated Charles Dance as Benedict (the villian with the cool contact lens)? Made the movie for me- could not believe it was the same actor in Alien3. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/76 "2010-08-09T04:07:40Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > I hope I never get too old to appreciate the cinematic masterpiece that is Commando > get out of the theater, grampa Knock off the personal insults. No warning issued. **twickster** , Cafe Society moderator ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/77 "2010-08-09T04:23:27Z")
He insulted me first for being 20 ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/78 "2010-08-09T11:30:02Z")
If someone insults you (and I don’t see a correct guess about your age being an insult, but I’m well past my 20s), report the post, don’t respond in kind. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/79 "2010-08-09T12:17:54Z")
Hmm. I think what I’m seeing here is that some people were distracted by the fantasy elements of the movie, e.g. the ticket, Death, etc. What the movie was really about was how action films have no basis in reality, and a very realistic “what if” about how movie cliches would react in the real world. And then, if you look at how they broke down many of the cliches, that’s what makes it great. I think only Scream did a better job of pointing out the absurdity in a genre (I haven’t seen the Princess Bride yet for fantasy films.) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336/80 "2010-08-09T12:59:40Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > > [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > > > Yeah, that LAH failed at the (_gasp_) Spanish market had disastrous, disastrous consequences, of course. > > Jees, that’s snarky - she’s just offering a different perspective. Worldwide box-office does count, and Spanish dubbing would cover most of South and Central America as well as Spain (which isn’t exactly tiny). And offering it with the specific labeling of “as an example” of how to lose dollars by saving pennies. If the dubbing in Germany, Latin America (I don’t know whether LAH got separate dubbings for Spain and LA and can’t check imdb right now) or France to name three other dubbing locations was also done badly, that’s a lot of money lost to word-of-mouth bad advertising. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-the-hate-for-last-action-hero/549336.md?page=5)