# Why, Unclebeer? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306 "2003-11-14T20:33:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/21 "2003-11-14T22:29:57Z")
I think it is fine for the mods to close threads that are getting excessively long, and pointless. But they did it in an unpleasent way so **Mods** you are Tetchy, tetchy, tetchy. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/22 "2003-11-14T22:32:05Z")
If your question is this: > [@](#): > > The database is getting larger all the time. With each post and thread added. Isn’t it? What is there specific to long threads concerning this? Not an argument, I really want to know. Then you need not go to ATMB; I’ll answer it here - yes, the database continually grows, unless posts and threads are deleted faster than they are added. A long thread seems to incur a slight performance hit, as the posts are kept in their proper order, and have to be sorted each time the thread is hit. Also, such things as “go to last post” do sorting as well, which means the board must shuffle through all post times of the posts that make up the threads. Now, in practice, this differential speed seems to be very small for most all cases, and is a neglible performance hit. But when you get up to an obscene level of posts in a single thread, such as some of the ones closed - and combine this with a slow board having database errors on an hourly basis already - the potential for increased havoc only grows. I can hear the difference when someone hits a thread with 2-4 pages of posts, and then hits threads like my Journal thread with 50 pages of posts - the shorter one makes the hard drive go “chirp!”, the longer one makes the hard drive go “chhhiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppp!” Or, lately, “CLUNK! CLUNK! (grind…grind…beep sadly once or thrice…then chirp reluctantly)” ☹ ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/23 "2003-11-14T22:36:18Z")
And the board is loading quite well at the busiest time of the week. Coincidence or not, is the server load lighter now ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/24 "2003-11-14T22:39:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > **I probably would’ve posted that many times in other threads in that same time period. (Almost 3 months)** Well, yeah, but see the thing is, you **did** rack up over 1400 posts in other threads in those same three months. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/25 "2003-11-14T22:40:14Z")
Thank you **Una**. That makes sense in a specific sort of way. I wonder how long _this_ thread will get? :smack: Complaint Answer Question Answer Everything else is just water under the bridge. I’m done here if you guys are. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/26 "2003-11-14T22:41:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*So they’re closed now. The main reason for this pitting was the snarky way he closed them down. Apparantly I won’t get an apology for his snide comments thrown my way… \*\* In a few of the threads he closed, he copy/pasted or linked to the comment made in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=223187) thread, in which you were not involved. You don’t see me whining about not getting an aplogy, do you? I don’t think you need to either. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/27 "2003-11-14T22:49:53Z")
Yeah, that’s the link he posted in mine. Since he linked my thread’s closing to it, I figured he meant it for me as well. And I’m not whining. I’m complaining. Or was complaining. I’m done now, man. Game toast. We’re over. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/28 "2003-11-14T22:55:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > **And some who don’t post even half what I do in twice the time who’s posts are full of wit, wisdom, and interesting things.** Aw, shucks, it was nothing. 🆒 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/29 "2003-11-14T23:42:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \* > \*\*No, because that doesn’t fix the “you’re hogging the front page real estate for what could be handled in an E-mail discussion group” issue. \*\* What, you mean we’d get, like, an endless repetition of BADGERFUCKINGBADGERFUCKINGMUSHROOM??? Eek! The horror! Thank God we’re safe from that…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/30 "2003-11-14T23:43:57Z")
OK. I’ll play. His name says it all. **NO CLUE BOY**. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/31 "2003-11-14T23:48:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*What, you mean we’d get, like, an endless repetition of BADGERFUCKINGBADGERFUCKINGMUSHROOM??? \*\* Is this some new version of Duck Duck Goose that I don’t know about? Badger fucking… Badger fucking… MUSHROOM! :: runs around the circle :: ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/32 "2003-11-14T23:55:14Z")
**Giraffe** for the love of all that is holy, don’t ask about the Badgers and the Mushrooms! SNAKE argghhhhhhh ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/33 "2003-11-14T23:57:47Z")
**Giraffe** , you haven’t heard of Badger Badger Mushroom? Or are you making a joke? ---
**Author:** ![Jabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5e925/32.png) [@Jabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jabba)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2003, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/34 "2003-11-14T23:59:54Z")
I certainly haven’t heard of Badger Badger Mushroom. Do I want to know what it means? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/35 "2003-11-15T00:03:28Z")
**Guinastasia** , I haven’t heard of Badger Badger Mushroom. And I was also making a joke. Which will be considerably less funny if it turns out that BBM is in fact a variant of Duck Duck Goose… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/36 "2003-11-15T00:04:18Z")
Prolly not. My point was, we make up our own minds what we’re interested in. I, for example, have no interest in finding out why I’m being asked if Jeff Goldblum has seen me poo. I have great interest, on the other hand, in finding out why **Salem’s** son peed down her vaccuum cleaner tube. Enough to do a search, or, if (heaven forfend) it goes to page two, I know how to get to page two to look for it. I decided this all on my own, without the mods’ help. And I can tie my own shoes, too, look!! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/37 "2003-11-15T00:08:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*And I can tie my own shoes, too, look!! \*\* Whoa, slow down, slow down! Could you describe this in more detail, along with other exciting activities of your daily life, but spread out over a couple of hundred posts? Because that would be a lot more interesting for all of us. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/38 "2003-11-15T00:09:39Z")
please don’t post the BBM link please don’t post the BBM link please don’t post the BBM link danke ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/39 "2003-11-15T00:14:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*Whoa, slow down, slow down! Could you describe this in more detail, along with other exciting activities of your daily life, but spread out over a couple of hundred posts? Because that would be a lot more interesting for all of us. \*\* 😛 Only if you really want me to…last night, for example… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by dantheman_ > \*\*please don’t post the BBM link > please don’t post the BBM link > please don’t post the BBM link > danke \*\* But, but, but, **DAN**!! If you leave it on for 3 1/2 hours, something really really cool happens!! I can’t tell you what, but it’s cool! ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306/40 "2003-11-15T00:17:37Z")
Found it! [Badger Badger Mushroom](http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com). I haven’t laughed that hard since the original hamsterdance website. I can’t believe I missed all the threads on this. ( **Maureen** : ;)) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-unclebeer/213306.md?page=3)