# Why were Ellie Mae's biscuits funny? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 1, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249 "2010-01-01T01:52:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2010, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249/21 "2010-01-02T04:47:08Z")
Measurements are for wimps. ETA: Donna Douglas’s measurements were for…no, that’s not what this thread is about. ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2010, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249/22 "2010-01-02T06:38:14Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > Ellie Mae Clampett and Lisa Douglas should have had a cook-off. > > Followed by a cat fight, at the end of which they both fall into the cement pond. Full of Jello. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2010, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249/23 "2010-01-02T12:31:50Z")
… if you could work Mary Ann into the mix (although she can cook), I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249/24 "2010-01-02T15:06:39Z")
> [@](#): > > The other comical thing was the Clampetts never came to the realization that, though a girl may need the ability to cook to land a man in the hills, Elly Mae had millions (she got 25% of Jed’s money which at the end was 100 million so Elly Mae had 25 million of her own) and was beautiful. So she didn’t need to cook and clean and sew, 'cause she could pay people to do that. To the Clampetts, a girl needed to clean and cook and sew to land a man regardless how pretty she was. As a matter of fact, Elly May didn’t need to land a man at all, when you come right down to it. Assuming that she could keep most of her principle intact and just spend the interest, there’s no reason why she couldn’t just have her very own menagery of animals. If she wanted a boyfriend or two, I’m sure that she could find one, simply on the basis of her looks and personality. Since she was loaded, I’m sure that she could rent a boyfriend or escort if she wanted one, either on a temporary or long term basis, as well. Also, remember that the Clampetts had some pretty specific ideas of what was good eating. That is, they tended to eat what was regarded as traditional hillbilly food, such as possum and other “varmints” that they might have come across in their native hills. Granny was perpetually in search of suitable meat, IIRC. On a slight hijack, I’m very surprised that Jethro was always chasing girls. As rich and good looking as he was, I would have thought that girls would have swarmed him, even if he was not socially sophisticated. In fact, I’d think that his naivety would be an attraction, and that he’d have girls fighting over who got to be the first to marry him…and divorce him, if he wised up. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2010, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249/25 "2010-01-02T16:21:46Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Nitpick: cement pond. I am almost certain that I am not a Clampett, and thus am not obligated to write in their cant. > [@Reno\_Nevada](#): > > Well, Akane Tendo might be a fair match, then, both for the cook-off and the subsequent catfight. Ranma would be unable to avoid the cement pond, of course. I don’t speak your cant either. Or, more accurately, I don’t recognize those proper nouns and I’m a little afraid to Google them. ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249/26 "2010-01-02T17:50:50Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t speak your cant either. Or, more accurately, I don’t recognize those proper nouns and I’m a little afraid to Google them. Main characters from anime martial-arts romantic comedy _Ranma 1/2_. A little mature at times, but mostly good clean fun with the occasional animated boobie. Googling should be safe. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249/27 "2010-01-02T18:07:39Z")
> [@Daerlyn](#): > > Main characters from anime martial-arts romantic comedy _Ranma 1/2_. A little mature at times, but mostly good clean fun with the occasional animated boobie. Googling should be safe. You may want to brush your hair. It seems to have been disheveled by a sudden gust of wind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-were-ellie-maes-biscuits-funny/523249.md?page=1)