# Why when selling/buying a property do the buyer and seller never meet? (home sales) **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 1, 2022, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085 "2022-04-01T02:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![paulmarkj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@paulmarkj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paulmarkj)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2022, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085/122 "2022-04-16T10:38:38Z")
But equally, if the buyer and seller can build some trust, that makes the sale more certain. When I bought my current house we met the sellers and they chose us rather than another (who offered more) because they felt they could trust us. We kept in contact with the seller and in fact the whole chain kept in contact, and when things got complicated, and the lawyers and agents got slack, we solved the problems between us. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2022, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085/123 "2022-04-16T11:06:11Z")
You _could_ meet your seller/buyer. But really, why bother? Buying a home can be a high-stakes transaction, both emotionally and financially. An agent can buffer that energy from both parties so that they don’t have to deal with the anxieties, irritation, haggling, etc. Some people can be real screwballs, and the less contact with them, the better. Plus there’s the benefit of having a single contact/single source of truth on the deal. When I last sold my house I think we had 60-80 prospects calling, and 10 different offers. I have zero interest in meeting any of those people. I just want the financial transaction to settle smoothly and promptly at the best price I can get, I’m not looking for new friends. That said, there have been a few occasions where I met the counterparty during a showing (because it was unavoidable). It went fine, but I’d have preferred to avoid it. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085/124 "2022-05-01T20:35:59Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > > [@Musicat](#): > > > > Very wise advice (to itemize what is and is not included in the sale). It avoids arguments later. USA-wise, in general (but itemization is still a good idea) anything that is attached to the structure, and which by removing it, would cause harm, is called a fixture (counter top, fireplace, door, carpet) and included. Anything detached or easily removable (chair, table) is not. > > You don’t mention lighting fixtures. I can remember a friend’s story where the buyer was expecting all the custom/expensive/unique light fixtures (i.e. those that were hard-wired – not just table lamps) to be conveyed. It was not mentioned in the paperwork, and they were pissed off and shocked on move-in day to find all those fixtures gone. I have a gorgeous old Moroccan brass/beaded chandelier in my bedroom that will definitely be coming with me if I ever move. In my state, the word “fixture” is part of the boiler-plate in the contract. If it is attached, it is a fixture. There is also a definition pre-printed. In spite of that, I always recommend itemizing everything if it is important to you to retain, or conversely, to remove and take it with you. Leave nothing to chance – why risk it? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085/125 "2022-05-01T20:40:41Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > You _could_ meet your seller/buyer. But really, why bother? Sellers can often advise buyers on details that are not obvious. Where is the shutoff valve for X; when does the garbage pickup happen, and what is the procedure for Y? Unless I anticipate a problem, I always advise sellers and buyers to communicate if they are willing. It’s a lot better than trying to pass along details thru an agent if you don’t need to. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085/126 "2022-05-01T21:12:14Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > In spite of that, I always recommend itemizing everything if it is important to you to retain, or conversely, to remove and take it with you. Leave nothing to chance – why risk it? Right! ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2022, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085/127 "2022-05-01T21:47:39Z")
My mother sold an apartment in China a few months ago (while she was in America the whole time.) The whole transaction was done entirely online, through some banking go-betweens. The Chinese finance people even at one point told my mom to pan her computer camera left and right during the video call to ensure that there were no people standing nearby to coerce her into a transaction against her will (this is apparently standard procedure.) ---
**Author:** ![Snipe70e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/51bf81/32.png) [@Snipe70e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snipe70e)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2022, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085/128 "2022-05-02T05:23:44Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > You don’t mention lighting fixtures. I can remember a friend’s story where the buyer was expecting all the custom/expensive/unique light fixtures (i.e. those that were hard-wired – not just table lamps) to be conveyed. It was not mentioned in the paperwork, and they were pissed off and shocked on move-in day to find all those fixtures gone. I have a gorgeous old Moroccan brass/beaded chandelier in my bedroom that will definitely be coming with me if I ever move. You can take the chandelier with you. But if it is there when you are showing the place then it will have to stay. Unless you have it labeled for the show and be sure to state in the contract that the chandelier is not staying. Other wise the buyer will have cause for legal action against you. The 1st house that we sold we wanted to take the chandelier with us. For for every showing we made sure there was a not on the chandelier stating that it was going with the seller. And it was also in the contract. Yet after the buyer moved in they made a lot of noise about the missing chandelier. In fact that same chandelier is right now over my head in my office 46 years later. When we moved last year we removed all chandeliers that we wanted to take with us and put up a different light fixture. WE got to keep the chandeliers with no problem. Other than disassembling the large chandelier so it could be boxed up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-when-selling-buying-a-property-do-the-buyer-and-seller-never-meet-home-sales/962085.md?page=6)