# Why Women Rule the Roost **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 26, 2009, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-women-rule-the-roost/497690 "2009-05-26T15:42:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-women-rule-the-roost/497690/61 "2009-06-01T20:19:38Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I guess I (a woman) don’t entirely understand how having your way on (many) specific issues is not being in control. It means “I want to live in a ranch and not a colonial”, and “I want to send our kids to School A and not to School B”, and so on, versus “I am the one who decides what house we buy” and “I am the one who decides where we send our kids to school”. My hypothesis is that a woman is more happy letting a man think he made the decision while in reality he was manipulated or otherwise limited into making the “correct” decision than the reverse, because women don’t need to _feel_ like they made the decision to the same extent, and what’s more important to them is the outcome. While sufferers of Male Ego need to feel the power of having “made the decision”, or at least avoid having it imposed on them, and thus have some inclination to trade the actual outcome for the formal (and imaginary) decision-making role. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-women-rule-the-roost/497690/62 "2009-06-02T03:28:43Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > It means “I want to live in a ranch and not a colonial”, and “I want to send our kids to School A and not to School B”, and so on, versus “I am the one who decides what house we buy” and “I am the one who decides where we send our kids to school”. > > My hypothesis is that a woman is more happy letting a man think he made the decision while in reality he was manipulated or otherwise limited into making the “correct” decision than the reverse, because women don’t need to _feel_ like they made the decision to the same extent, and what’s more important to them is the outcome. While sufferers of Male Ego need to feel the power of having “made the decision”, or at least avoid having it imposed on them, and thus have some inclination to trade the actual outcome for the formal (and imaginary) decision-making role. Ah. I think you’re missing the part where we roll our eyes and mime a high five to our girlfriends when we’re done with the “discussion” we just “lost”. 😉 We (I) certainly still feel as in control as the men feel in such a situation. Although perhaps, for large gender averages, we feel in control by controlling social interactions, whereas men feel in control from controlling things (cars, remotes, houses, etc.) Broad brush only, nuances and individualities need not apply. ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-women-rule-the-roost/497690/63 "2009-06-02T03:44:43Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I guess I (a woman) don’t entirely understand how having your way on (many) specific issues is not being in control. > > I admit, I do sometimes engage in the stereotypical patronizing practice of “letting” my husband control the remote control or “letting” him choose where to eat or “letting” him win an argument. Therefore, I have at least as much control of the situation as he does - if I really wanted the remote or the restaurant choice or to have the final say, we would work that out together. But more often I just want to get on with our day, and I don’t mind being letting the argument go unargued. Easier to just let him feel like he’s in control - when internally I feel like that’s my control. It’s my choice. And my choice is to let him make a choice. _shrugs_ Works for both of us, even if it looks like he’s got the control in those areas of the relationship. > > Now, if he were to order for me at dinner without asking me what I want, I’d be livid. Even if it was what I would have ordered for myself. And he would feel the same way if I did that to him. _That’s_ getting your way without being in control, and no, I’m not at all okay with that. Gentlemen, read this post very carefully. The key word is “letting”. The women win and always will. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-women-rule-the-roost/497690.md?page=3)