# Why won't McCain pick up the phone and tell Bush how to "get" bin Laden? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 10, 2008, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276 "2008-10-10T02:46:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/41 "2008-10-10T20:33:20Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > “They all hate us anyhow; let’s drop the big one now.” I’m sure they’re all short people too. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/42 "2008-10-10T20:42:24Z")
> [@ShermanAter](#): > > How can you doubt the “maverick”? > He knows how to get 'em. He will get 'em. > He’ll figure out how and will “get back to ya” And he’s your friend. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/43 "2008-10-10T20:44:46Z")
> [@5-4-Fighting](#): > > And he’s your friend. No, we’re just his friends. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/44 "2008-10-10T20:44:47Z")
The question you pose is a good one, but I’m actually a little more perplexed about another oft used talking point that his camp puts out there. You know the one: he knows how to win wars. Really? Which wars has John McCain won? I respect military service more than most in this country, but fercryinoutloud: he was _captured_ in a war that we ended up losing. So, not only was he part of a losing war, but he was a weak point in the armor on top of it. I feel like a major douche saying that, but it’s what goes through my head every time they go off that he “knows how to win wars”. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/45 "2008-10-10T20:46:42Z")
I’m in the “bin Ladin is un-gettable, alive, as he is long since dead, and un-gettable dead, as the body is long since cremated” camp. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/46 "2008-10-10T21:02:15Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > > [@Mr.Moto](#): > > > > I wouldn’t read too much into this - Obama makes similar statements in debates. > > All purpose Pubbie tu quoque response. Use when you got nothin’. Rinse and repeat. Hey, at least we’ve moved on from “Clinton got a blow job.” ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/47 "2008-10-10T21:22:10Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I’m in the “bin Ladin is un-gettable, alive, as he is long since dead, and un-gettable dead, as the body is long since cremated” camp. Muslims don’t cremate, or did you mean his body was vaporized in a bombing? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/48 "2008-10-10T21:26:30Z")
> [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](#): > > Muslims don’t cremate, or did you mean his body was vaporized in a bombing? Vaporize is a bit strong, and you’re right about his corpse almost certainly not being cremated by his cohorts. My point is that if he’s dead, Al Qaeda would be strongly motivated to keep that fact secret, so the body would be disposed of somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/49 "2008-10-10T21:29:38Z")
[QUOTE=Frank] “They all hate us anyhow; let’s drop the big one now.” [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Euphonious Polemic] I’m sure they’re all short people too. [/QUOTE] “Rollin’ down Imperial Highway…” I was in L.A. last week and I still have that song running through my head. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/50 "2008-10-10T22:40:48Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Vaporize is a bit strong, and you’re right about his corpse almost certainly not being cremated by his cohorts. My point is that if he’s dead, Al Qaeda would be strongly motivated to keep that fact secret, so the body would be disposed of somehow. So I’ve heard that Muslims are not suppose to hide a death. But then, what do I know? And since the thread got handed over to the Pit I’ll throw in another 2 cents. If the guy is so good at “reaching across party lines” why is he unable to reach for the phone and talk to the top dog in his own party? Oh yea, it’s that bad wing. Just can’t pick up the receiver. Why doesn’t the press nail him on this blatant BS? Is it because it’s too easy? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/51 "2008-10-10T22:43:18Z")
> [@Spartydog](#): > > So I’ve heard that Muslims are not suppose to hide a death. But then, what do I know? Not to get all “No True Scotsman,” but given the mental gymnastics required to reconcile acts of mass murder with the Koran, I can easily believe they’d find a way to justify it. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/52 "2008-10-10T23:00:13Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Not to get all “No True Scotsman,” but given the mental gymnastics required to reconcile acts of mass murder with the Koran, I can easily believe they’d find a way to justify it. Yea, you’re probably right. I’m always amazed at how literal religious dogma is until it needs to be interpreted for some purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/53 "2008-10-10T23:03:58Z")
Look, it’s really quite simple. If McCain knows how to get bin Laden, and he tells Bush now, what is the most likely result? Of course Bush will try to take bin Laden out. Hasn’t the President repeatedly emphasized the ongoing need to locate the 9/11 mastermind over the last 7 years? (No time for cites; let’s move on.) Now consider: in all the world, who is the most likely person to be mistaken for Osama bin Laden? None but his fraternal Muslim brother, Barack Obama. O-S-ama? O-B-ama? You see, by holding back his advice for the nonce, McCain is simply protecting the life of his esteemed Senate colleague from the well-intentioned haste of our Commander-in-Chief. Even though they are officially political rivals, McCain’s old-school gentility and keen sense of honor allow him to generously reach out and shield his respected fellow Senator. Which, I believe, means that McCain is guilty of offering aid and comfort to terrorists, and therefore should be airlifted by his jowls to the nearest extrajudicial rendition facility and waterboarded until he rehydrates. Who knew that Viet Cong programming could remain undetected for so many years? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/54 "2008-10-10T23:05:31Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Not to get all “No True Scotsman,” but given the mental gymnastics required to reconcile acts of mass murder with the Koran, I can easily believe they’d find a way to justify it. Ere Diogenes or Der Trihs makes a complaint, similar though less extreme mental contortions are required by the current administration regarding the Iraq war & the sermon on the mount. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/55 "2008-10-11T00:58:46Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](#): > > I don’t know about that. What not-so-thinly veiled references to “another Holocaust” giveth, the nomination of Sarah Palin taketh away. There is little American Jews are more suspicious of is folks who wear their evangelical Christian views on their sleeves and aggresively mix religion with politics. > > It’s not a coincidence that McCain lost Florida after Palin was put on the ticket. He lost? Wait, did I fall asleep and miss the rest of October and the election? Dangit! ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/56 "2008-10-11T02:38:41Z")
Sarah Palin already explained this in her debate. > [@](#): > > “We are a team of mavericks. Whenever we want to solve a problem, we will ask ourselves, ‘what would a maverick do?’ And then we will do that.” Or was that Tina Fey? I can’t even tell any more. ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/57 "2008-10-11T17:13:51Z")
> [@Spartydog](#): > > So I’ve heard that Muslims are not suppose to hide a death. But then, what do I know? > > And since the thread got handed over to the Pit I’ll throw in another 2 cents. If the guy is so good at “reaching across party lines” why is he unable to reach for the phone and talk to the top dog in his own party? Oh yea, it’s that bad wing. Just can’t pick up the receiver. > > Why doesn’t the press nail him on this blatant BS? Is it because it’s too easy? Well, they can’t show the death till they round up the required number of virgins. Also, he said he’s good at reaching ACROSS party lines. It’s his own party with which he can’t communicate. If only a Democrat had been President, he’d have been able to tell them how to get Osama. And finally, the Press can’t prove he blatently lied. Besides, he called them his friends. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/58 "2008-10-11T19:44:37Z")
> [@Frostillicus](#): > > Sarah Palin already explained this in her debate. > > > [@](#): > > > > “We are a team of mavericks. Whenever we want to solve a problem, we will ask ourselves, ‘what would a maverick do?’ And then we will do that.” Okay, she totally stole that from David Mamet:\*D.A. Freccia: You’re a pretty smart fella. Joe Moore: Ah, not that smart. D.A. Freccia: [If] you’re not that smart, how’d you figure it out? Joe Moore: I tried to imagine a fella smarter than myself. Then I tried to think, “what would he do?” \*[right]–_Heist_[/irhgt] > [@Frostillicus](#): > > Or was that Tina Fey? I can’t even tell any more. It’s sad, and this case a little scary, when reality outdoes the parody. Tina Fey could portray Sarah Palin walking around and slapping random people with a fish, and on Monday morning Palin would be out slapping people with a bag of eels. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2008, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276/59 "2008-10-11T20:21:41Z")
> [@Mr.Moto](#): > > So when I say Obama makes similar statements - well, he does. It’s all just more political theater on both sides. “You have sat too long here for any good you have been doing. Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-wont-mccain-pick-up-the-phone-and-tell-bush-how-to-get-bin-laden/467276.md?page=2)