# Why would someone worship Satan? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 1, 2009, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561 "2009-04-01T10:07:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/41 "2009-04-01T21:59:04Z")
Most of the people I’ve put this question to seem to believe the “mono” comes from the number of Gods they worship. Since they worship ONE God, the religion is MONO-theistic, regardless of any number of other ‘lesser’ supernatural beings. But we seem to be getting side tracked. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/42 "2009-04-01T21:59:30Z")
> [@Leomaster](#): > > **Why would someone worship Satan?** Two reasons: 1. They have not yet found [“Bob.”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subgenius) 2. They have, and are planning to fuck Satan over, and can and will. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/43 "2009-04-02T00:26:05Z")
> [@yojimbo](#): > > So Hindus, pagans etc. are Satanists in your book? Buddhists are on the Noble Eight Fold Path _to hell_. And the Tao is like an uncarved block… _of evil_. edit:Italics lest my parody be taken as serious. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/44 "2009-04-02T01:43:30Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > First, very, very few people really DO worship Satan. > > The few who do fall into a couple of broad categories: > > 1. Dumb, bored teenagers who think the occult and black magic sound cool. > > 2. Atheists who don’t really believe in Satan any more than they believe in God, but who get a weird thrill by pretending to be transgressive and by embracing the forbidden. > > 3. New Agey types who’ve convinced themselves that Satan isn’t REALLY the evil guy described in Scripture, but is some kind of earthy spirit, or the counterpart to some likable pagan god. Well, #2 is flawed. Satan is supposedly a supernatural being, **which atheists don’t believe in**. Any who claims to be both an atheist AND a Satanist is either unclear on the concept of real atheism or yanking someone’s chain. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/45 "2009-04-02T01:55:39Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > The others who call themselves satanists are really just in-your-face atheists who “worship satan” as the embodiment of the idea of rebellion against religion. Well, that, and they like to play dress-up on occasion. > [@Cliffy](#): > > This isn’t entirely correct. I’m sure there are plenty of atheists who claim to worship a Satan they don’t actually believe in for purposes of intimidating the squares, but there are people who actually worship Satan. Err… guys, us atheists don’t believe any of this, God, Satan, Wotan, etc. BUT, I always have entertained the idea that if the Bible truly was the word of a god, most likely a god like Satan wrote it, eh? Holy land, schmoly land. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/46 "2009-04-02T02:00:53Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Well, #2 is flawed. Satan is supposedly a supernatural being, **which atheists don’t believe in**. Any who claims to be both an atheist AND a Satanist is either unclear on the concept of real atheism or yanking someone’s chain. Actually, an atheist just doesn’t believe in _ **gods** _. You can believe in supernatural entities and still be an atheist. I don’t, but that’s because I’m a physicalist as well as an atheist. The real problem with being both a Satanist and an atheist is that God’s part of the same mythology as Satan. Satan implies God. ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/47 "2009-04-02T02:06:44Z")
> [@Leomaster](#): > > My question is that if Hell is a place of eternal pain and suffering then why would someone worship Satan the leader of Hell? Better to be honest about worshipping a sadistic, malevolent god than pretending he’s not. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/48 "2009-04-02T02:07:57Z")
Uh, Lynn and Locrian, what the hell guys. Me and cliffy and astorian are all saying that some people say “I’m a Satanist!” but really they are (i) an atheist (as in they don’t believe in a god and (ii) an in-your-face! kind of person. So they don’t really believe in Satan. They also don’t really believe in any gods. So it’s all perfectly consistent. Everything is fine. We’re all fine here guys. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/49 "2009-04-02T02:12:05Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Uh, Lynn and Locrian, what the hell guys. Me and cliffy and astorian are all saying that some people say “I’m a Satanist!” but really they are (i) an atheist (as in they don’t believe in a god and (ii) an in-your-face! kind of person. So they don’t really believe in Satan. They also don’t really believe in any gods. So it’s all perfectly consistent. Everything is fine. We’re all fine here guys. Well, I’m sure there are some that you describe. Besides, every group has its rebels… ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/50 "2009-04-02T02:20:28Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > It’s not a Christian concept. Most religions include some sort of counterpoint figure as part of their central theology, plus Muslims believe in _Shaitan_, who is basically the same as the Christian concept of Satan minus the fallen angel bit. Those are still relatively recent concepts, probably drawing mostly from Zoroastrianism, from what I can tell–at least the God vs. anti-God thing is not so evident in the Old Testament. Satan in most of the OT is quite a different fellow when he appears, and is more properly referred to as “the satan,” which is more of a job description (an “accuser” or a tester.) It’s pretty clear that when he appears in the OT, as in Job or Zecheriah, he’s acting on the behalf of God. It’s not until Chronicles that he sort of starts taking on an independent identity. Anyhow, for the OP, Satan is a romantic hero. He’s long been a symbol of independence, self-reliance, anti-authority, etc. I mean, what’s Satan’s big fall? Sure, you can say the sin of pride, but it’s just as easy to interpret it as a fierce independent spirit. The typical story behind Satan, or, more accurately here, Lucifer, is that he was cast away from Heaven because he refused to bow down with the rest of the angels to worship Adam. Lucifer (often cited as God’s favorite angel) basically said I was here before Adam, Adam is my inferior, why should I worship him? He should be worshiping me. Is it a sin of pride, or is it fierce independence? It’s a matter of your perspective. I personally would argue that, given the above, it’s hard not to somewhat sympathize with Lucifer. He’s a character dropped into a rigidly hierarchical society (from cherubim to dominions to archangels) who refuses to accede to authority based on personal conviction. (Once again, that’s _one_ interpretation.) God gets pissed at his insubordination, and all Hell breaks loose (pun intended.) So, given that story and that perspective, I don’t think it’s inconceivable that one would hold up the character of Lucifer/Satan in high regard. Now, I am not familiar enough with Satanism to know whether this is what they believe, but my perspective on Lucifer, given the literature, is one of a Romantic hero more than the embodiment of all that is evil. ---
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/51 "2009-04-02T03:27:21Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Well, I’m sure there are some that you describe. Besides, every group has its rebels… But what they’re saying is that the _majority_ of people who call themselves “Satanists” and follow the LaVey style of the art, don’t actually believe in supernatural beings, even in Satan. To them, Satan is a literary character that represents independence, hedonism, and cheesing off the Christians. Now TWIAVBP, so I’m sure that there are exceptions who do actually believe in Satan and worship him. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/52 "2009-04-02T08:04:23Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > It’s not a Christian concept. Most religions include some sort of counterpoint figure as part of their central theology, plus Muslims believe in _Shaitan_, who is basically the same as the Christian concept of Satan minus the fallen angel bit. I see, and I used Christian as an example because that’s my religious experience. But my point is, whatever flavor of religion you choose, if you believe in a Satan concept, then you must also believe in the other guy, as well. And if one believes in both of them, how can one choose the obvious second bananna? ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Quell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Quell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Quell)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/53 "2009-04-02T08:31:58Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Satan-worshipping chick - hot > Jesus-worshipping chick - not > Seems simple enough to me. If I had to choose, I may as well go where the action is. Satan-worshiping chick: STDs Jesus-worshiping chick: No STDs I know, I know… this isn’t always true… sometimes Jesus freaks get freaky before marriage and contract an STD and I’m sure some Satanists have saved sex for marriage… but I couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/54 "2009-04-02T09:17:35Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Quell](#): > > Satan-worshiping chick: STDs > > Jesus-worshiping chick: No STDs > > I know, I know… this isn’t always true… sometimes Jesus freaks get freaky before marriage and contract an STD and I’m sure some Satanists have saved sex for marriage… but I couldn’t resist. [Christianity and STDs are linked](http://moses.creighton.edu/JRS/2005/2005-11.html). You’re less likely to have an STD if you’re a heathen. (Same thing with having a baby out of wedlock.) ---
**Author:** ![jakesteele](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed8c4c/32.png) [@jakesteele](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jakesteele)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/55 "2009-04-02T11:31:58Z")
[http://web.satanism101.com/statements.html](http://web.satanism101.com/statements.html) The Nine Satanic Statements I Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence! II Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams! III Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit! IV Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates! V Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek! VI Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires! VII Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development, has become the most vicious animal of all! VIII Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification! IX Satan is the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years! From the Satanic Bible The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth I Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked. II Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure that they want to hear them. III When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there. IV If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy. V Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal. VI Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the person and he cries out to be relieved. VII Acknowledge the power of magic if you have used it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained. VIII Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself. IX Do not harm little children. X Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for your food. XI When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him. Anton Szandor LaVey, 1967 c.e. The Nine Satanic Sins For years, people have asked Church of Satan representatives, “Well, okay - your philosophy is based on indulgence of human instincts but do you have sins like any other religion?” Our answer has always been “No”. But the time has come to amend that response. We have grown steadily over the past 21 years and find that it is appropriate to have some clear guidelines on, not only what we strive for,but also what we work to avoid - what we disapprove of. The difference is where other religions develop sins that people can’t avoid, we consider a number of things “sinful” that people could avoid if they worked a little. Stupidity The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid. Pretentiousness Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn’t applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone’s made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not. Solipsism Can be very dangerous for Satanists. Projecting your reactions, responses and sensibilities onto someone who is probably far less attuned than you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy and respect that you naturally give them. They won’t. Instead, Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of “Do unto others as they do unto you.” It’s work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian standpoint) we are far from that point. Self-deceit It’s in the Nine Satanic Statements but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is when it’s fun, and with awareness. But then, it’s not self-deceit! Herd Conformity That’s obvious from a Satanic stance. It’s all right to conform to a person’s wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of the many. Lack of Perspective Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, every day. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. Do not be swayed by herd constraints – know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies Be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something “new” and “different,” when in reality it’s something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the “creator” and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society. Counterproductive Pride That first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you’ve painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, “I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow,” then do it. Lack of Aesthetics This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. Aesthetics is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off classical standards of beauty and form most of the time so they are discouraged in a consumer society, but “an eye” for for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness. It’s not what’s supposed to be pleasing – it’s what is. Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one’s own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied. Anton Szandor LaVey, 1987 c.e. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/56 "2009-04-02T11:42:12Z")
> [@bobo t](#): > > I see, and I used Christian as an example because that’s my religious experience. But my point is, whatever flavor of religion you choose, if you believe in a Satan concept, then you must also believe in the other guy, as well. And if one believes in both of them, how can one choose the obvious second bananna? Because not everyone believes that Might makes Right? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/57 "2009-04-02T13:18:59Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > [Christianity and STDs are linked](http://moses.creighton.edu/JRS/2005/2005-11.html). You’re less likely to have an STD if you’re a heathen. (Same thing with having a baby out of wedlock.) \Curse those damned condoms\ ---
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/58 "2009-04-02T13:25:39Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > [Christianity and STDs are linked](http://moses.creighton.edu/JRS/2005/2005-11.html). You’re less likely to have an STD if you’re a heathen. (Same thing with having a baby out of wedlock.) Well, obviously, those girls with STDs aren’t _true_ Jesus-worshipping chicks. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/59 "2009-04-02T13:31:01Z")
> [@CurtC](#): > > Well, obviously, those girls with STDs aren’t _true_ Jesus-worshipping chicks. Do they put salt on their whorage? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561/60 "2009-04-02T16:51:01Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > All of those who believe in and worship the biblical satan (or the koranic shaytan) could probably fit on an average city bus. The others who call themselves satanists are really just in-your-face atheists who “worship satan” as the embodiment of the idea of rebellion against religion. Well, that, and they like to play dress-up on occasion. Mostly kids trying to rile up their parents, basically. “Look at me-I’m soooo bad ass.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-someone-worship-satan/491561.md?page=4)