# Why would this person not want to give me her phone number? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 17, 2008, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-this-person-not-want-to-give-me-her-phone-number/437948 "2008-02-17T02:37:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-this-person-not-want-to-give-me-her-phone-number/437948/61 "2008-02-23T11:12:35Z")
[QUOTE=Bites When Provoked] Oh, gotcha. Yeah, I can’t see how that works, either. For a start, our land line is tied to our monitored security system and smoke detector, and I can’t imagine doing without that. [/QUOTE] I would think a college app would require a phone contact number. At school, we _have_ to have a working number for each student…what if they fall and have to be rushed to emergency, etc.? And wouldn’t it be a flag for things like credit? I mean, if you have no phone number, they assume you can’t manage to pay for it every month (disconnected for non-payment, irresponsible, living hand-to-mouth, whatever) and are a bad credit risk. ---
**Author:** ![Jinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-this-person-not-want-to-give-me-her-phone-number/437948/62 "2008-02-23T11:37:07Z")
As this point, you gotta flat-out ask her what’s up between the two of you. You gotta know where you stand, and if she wants things to continue, then what’s so gouche about giving me (i.e., you - the OP) your (her) phone number? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-this-person-not-want-to-give-me-her-phone-number/437948/63 "2008-02-23T12:18:22Z")
[QUOTE=Speaker for the Dead] Tell me about it. But then again, this thread’s got more replies than 95% of those I’ve posted. At least I get to feel popular. [/QUOTE] Just don’t start asking us for our phone numbers. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-this-person-not-want-to-give-me-her-phone-number/437948/64 "2008-02-23T13:39:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Speaker for the Dead** : > Tell me about it. But then again, this thread’s got more replies than 95% of those I’ve posted. At least I get to feel popular. Yeah, great thread. Although as someone who is fast approaching 50 and has been married since I was about, oh, 12 or so, I am really really really really really glad I don’t have to date anymore. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-this-person-not-want-to-give-me-her-phone-number/437948/65 "2008-02-23T16:32:23Z")
[QUOTE=Sleeps With Butterflies] I don’t know you (so I’m obviously not talking about you), but I’ve found that some guys will take any time spent together as a “casual date” when I’m not interested in anything other than being friends. It’s best to know right up front where you stand. If you’re not for sure, I’d ask “So do you have a boyfriend?” If she says no then I’d say “Would you like to go to \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ sometime?” [/QUOTE] During that first-coffee “questionnaire” period (maybe people only do this with me, but it always involves a back-and-forth questioning), I asked if she was single, and shortly afterward we planned the play / drinks / dance night. I think I was overoptimistic, but there are worse things in life :p. I expect the next time we hang out I’ll bring up the subject, just to clear the air. At worst, I’ve made a friend. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-this-person-not-want-to-give-me-her-phone-number/437948/66 "2008-02-23T23:55:53Z")
[QUOTE=Speaker for the Dead] During that first-coffee “questionnaire” period (maybe people only do this with me, but it always involves a back-and-forth questioning), I asked if she was single, and shortly afterward we planned the play / drinks / dance night. I think I was overoptimistic, but there are worse things in life :p. I expect the next time we hang out I’ll bring up the subject, just to clear the air. At worst, I’ve made a friend. [/QUOTE] I hate to quote Barry Manilow, but sometimes it’s best to be a “cautious pessimist” about these things. Best of luck, though! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-this-person-not-want-to-give-me-her-phone-number/437948.md?page=3)