# Why would you name your child this??? I don't get it...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 17, 2002, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070 "2002-04-17T03:16:35Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/1 "2002-04-17T03:16:35Z")

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A while ago, I got a book from Chapters entitled _The Baby Name Countdown_ by Janet Schwegel. I am not going to have a baby, but I had borrowed an earlier edition of the book from the library about a year and a half ago, and all my friends loved all the crazy names in there. So I decided to buy the book, figuring that the names and such would be good for a laugh. It has some baby name meanings, some historical data about name usage in the 20th century, and tens of thousands of names.

However, there are some really crazy names in there! This is but a small sampling of what you will find in this book:

**For Boys:**

Jennifer, Sarah, Melissa, Emily, Catherine, Erin, Hannah, Nicole, Stephanie, Lara, Lisa, Marilyn, Zoe, Megan, Tiffany, Mary, Dawn, Margaret, Mavis, Erica, Denise, Katelin-Bradley, etc.

**For Girls:**

Ryan, Bradley-Nicole, Ryan-Michelle, Aaron, Andrew, Brian, Ian, Graeme, Kevin, Scott, Douglas, Robert, Eric, Ross, Neil, Kent, Mark, Darren, Christopher, David, Arthur, etc.

**For Both Boys and Girls:**

Curry, Downy, Chicago, North, Western-Li, Weyekin-Ilp-Ilp, Safe, Safari, February, Coy, Coven, Newborn, Stillborn, Infant, Precious Angel, Cash Money, Jelly, Joel 2:2, Northstar, Zork, etc.  
I am excluding what are obcious ethnic names, because while they might sound weird to me, they may be very special to people of other cultures. Nor am I including the dozens of misspellings (or “creative spellings”, if you will)… those are just nuts, and I don’t wnat to encourage the parents-to-be among you to get zany with your child’s name! It is your child’s name, and he/she will have to live with it for the rest of their life! (unless they get it changed) Then again, I’m not encouraging you to go and name your child one of the gender-inappropriate names (or the weird ones) that I’ve noted above.

This is just to laugh over, and to thank your lucky stars that at least **you** didn’t go that route when naming your child! (for those of you that might have gone this route, I apologize) I mean no disrespect toward the children that have these names, or their parents… this is just for humor purposes!

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**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/2 "2002-04-17T03:24:16Z")

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I was just thinking about this whilst perusing the roster from my 4-year-old son’s soccer team. Here’s the list: Micaela, Alexis, Carson, Elijah, Grace, Hunter, Angel\*, Augie, Bynasia and Bradley.

Aside from Brad and Grace, these names would all be considered outside the norm of my generation. Throw Alexis in with more recent trendy names, and you’ve still got a pretty diverse mix there. It’s interesting to watch names evolve over time, but I don’t really get the point of cross-naming children. Maybe the publisher made an error?

So people are naming there sons Jennifer now? My sister Jenny will be distraught.

\*Angel has a Spanish last name, so I’m guessing that this is _Ahn-hel_, not _Ane-jul._

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**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/3 "2002-04-17T03:24:20Z")

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Please don’t make fun of my name.

Sincerely,

Cash Money McBride

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**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/4 "2002-04-17T03:25:43Z")

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I caught a few minutes of George Carlin’s rant on why boys are named Kyle, Tyler, etc. The way he did it was funny. He insisted that manlier names are Joe, Vinnie, Eddy, etc. – the traditional names. I thought it strange that Abby Hoffman named his son America. Did you transpose the boys/girls categories?

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**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/5 "2002-04-17T03:30:13Z")

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My buddy Weyekin-Ilp-Ilp Jones is gonna come bust you in the head!

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**Author:** ![Dagny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9f8e36/32.png) [@Dagny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dagny)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/6 "2002-04-17T03:38:51Z")

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poor kid named Stillborn: “Mom, what does my name mean?”  
the mother: “Honey, it means dead at birth.”

Sadly, I can see some in my family naming their child Precious Angel. And how do you pronounce Weyekin-Ilp-Ilp?

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**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/7 "2002-04-17T03:40:38Z")

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I’ve got a friend who named her three sons Kelsye, Quintin and Tyler. I’d ask her if she had a girl would she name her Tippecanoe Too, but she’d just get mad at me.

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**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/8 "2002-04-17T04:04:29Z")

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I actually know a guy named Curry. He’s a jerk, maybe it’s burried angst from being named after a spice. I like names that aren’t average, but naming your child Zork, is just mean.

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/9 "2002-04-17T04:07:48Z")

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I was trying to figure out what was so wrong with names like Sarah and Catherine when I realized that they were on the **boy’s** list! :eek:

Not only do I wonder what parents are thinking when they name their kids. I wonder what these people who make these lists are thinking.

We are going through the baby-naming process, and I really wished I could find a few names sources that eliminated the total weirdness. I was willing to consider unusual or uncommon names, but I hated having to skip over pages and pages of Anakins and Brylcreems just to get to the “real” names.

I found the [Institute for Naming Children Humanely](http://inch.stormpages.com/) page helpful.

And the final contender for the Beansprout’s name: James. Yes, he’s a boy.

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**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/10 "2002-04-17T04:09:44Z")

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Oh, come on … Zork is sensational.  
You could, for the rest of your life, pretend to be an alien or a super-being.  
It also makes a great profanity, as in “Zork! My underwear fell down again”.  
Just sensational.

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**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/11 "2002-04-17T04:17:47Z")

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It could always be worse.

Yours,  
Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

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**Author:** ![fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fish_in_the_sky)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/12 "2002-04-17T04:50:53Z")

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I dunno, I might name a kid **North**.

Or a dog, at least.

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**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/13 "2002-04-17T05:04:48Z")

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What’s Zork’s middle name? Grue? And how about his brother, Dimwit Flathead?

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**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/14 "2002-04-17T05:21:53Z")

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I am the proud possessor of a book entitled _The Guide to creating Unique and Unusual Baby Names_

Islandette, Qinkade, Xinkia, Zag, Unit, Mannikin, Osby, Oxygena, Jolt, Igloo, Breed and Pallagren are just some of the gems. But my favourites would have to be Larceny and Husk. Although Chizzel is pretty special too…

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**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/15 "2002-04-17T06:24:17Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \*  
> \*_I was just thinking about this whilst perusing the roster from my 4-year-old son’s soccer team. Here’s the list: Micaela, Alexis, Carson, Elijah, Grace, Hunter, Angel_, Augie, Bynasia and Bradley.
> 
> Aside from Brad and Grace, these names would all be considered outside the norm of my generation. Throw Alexis in with more recent trendy names, and you’ve still got a pretty diverse mix there. It’s interesting to watch names evolve over time, but I don’t really get the point of cross-naming children. Maybe the publisher made an error?
> 
> So people are naming there sons Jennifer now? My sister Jenny will be distraught.
> 
> \*Angel has a Spanish last name, so I’m guessing that this is _Ahn-hel_, not _Ane-jul._ \*\*

I don’t think the publisher made an error, because those names were all in the earlier edition of the book that I looked at. You’d think they’d fix it or something before the next edition came to press, so that’s why I’m saying that.

Yes, people are naming their sons Jennifer now… and apparently it has its own popularity rating; admittedly, the smallest allowable (one in every hundred thousand babies)… but still something! :eek: (the same goes for Catherine, Stephanie, and Hannah)

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Violet \*  
> \*\*I thought it strange that Abby Hoffman named his son America. Did you transpose the boys/girls categories? \*\*

I think that “weird” names were fashionable among the hippies of the 60s; see my Frank Zappa reference below. (names such as God, Zowie, Sunshine, etc.)

No, I did not transpose the categories!

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Shera \*  
> \*\*I actually know a guy named Curry. He’s a jerk, maybe it’s burried angst from being named after a spice. I like names that aren’t average, but naming your child Zork, is just mean. \*\*

Well, I know a guy named Citrus; everyone was always teasing him about his name when he was younger. No wonder he was so bratty and such when he was a kid! Everyone used to call him “Lemon”, “Lime”, “Orange”, etc. (his sister’s name is Cordia; I don’t know if that’s any better, but at least she didn’t get teased to the same extent as her brother when she was a kid… she was a great crybaby, though)

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Primaflora \*  
> \*\*I am the proud possessor of a book entitled _The Guide to creating Unique and Unusual Baby Names_
> 
> Islandette, Qinkade, Xinkia, Zag, Unit, Mannikin, Osby, Oxygena, Jolt, Igloo, Breed and Pallagren are just some of the gems. But my favourites would have to be Larceny and Husk. Although Chizzel is pretty special too… \*\*

Well, you’ve got the book to end all books right there, haven’t you, **Primaflora**? 🙂 Actually, that reminds me of what Frank Zappa named his kids: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Rodan, and Diva. Typically, he insisted that his kids would always have more trouble because of their last name.

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**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/16 "2002-04-17T06:40:21Z")

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I have two nieces and two nephews.

The girls are Ciera and Bailey.

The boys are Beck and Jackson.

My brother is _such_ a yuppie…

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**Author:** ![BalmainBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@BalmainBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BalmainBoy)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/17 "2002-04-17T07:22:21Z")

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My middle name is Leigh, which seems to have transmutated over my lifetime from a boy’s name to a girl’s.

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**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/18 "2002-04-17T07:42:04Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Green Bean \*  
> \*\*I found the [Institute for Naming Children Humanely](http://inch.stormpages.com/) page helpful. \*\*

It’s a funny site! But how come they slam the name “Zoe”? It’s a pretty old, established greek(?) name meaning life. At least in the UK.

“Jordan” meaning chamber pot is quite hilarious, when you think of hyper-inflated (literally and figuratively) tabloid icon topless model Jordan (aka “Katie Price”) soon to give birth live on the internet.

In the abstract category - “Chastity” is a ghastly, ghastly name but “Grace” and “Joy” are very traditional names and lovely as first or second names. But as for calling your son “Butch”…

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**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/19 "2002-04-17T07:49:08Z")

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When I read the subject, I thought someone named a child “this.”

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**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\
**Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-child-this-i-dont-get-it/104070/20 "2002-04-17T07:51:45Z")

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**Homer** : See, I got this friend named…Joey Jo-Jo… Junior…Shabadoo –  
**Moe** : That’s the worst name I ever heard.  
[A man leaves, weeping]  
**Barney** : Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!

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