# Why would you name your kid... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2008, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559 "2008-12-10T15:33:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/61 "2008-12-11T14:14:12Z")
**Ed Balls** seems particularly cruel, unless you were to guide him towards a football career(“soccer” to you US heathens!). p.s. **Harry Balls** would have just been plain evil. ---
**Author:** ![gang\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f07891/32.png) [@gang\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gang_green)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/62 "2008-12-11T18:25:56Z")
> [@freekalette](#): > > My dad went to school with a kid named Richard Fuchs. The “ch” is hard, so the poor lad was called Dick Fucks. I can’t think of anything worse than that. Eh, he can change the nickname, and become a Rich Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/63 "2008-12-11T19:03:15Z")
Our law clerks used to keep a list of crazy names. One of my favorites was Alpacino. Another one was Bonjovi. Care to guess what year Bonjovi was born in? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2008, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/64 "2008-12-11T23:37:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Our law clerks used to keep a list of crazy names. One of my favorites was Alpacino. I have to admit I was halfway through _Tropic Thunder_ before I got the joke about the character named Alpa Chino. ---
**Author:** ![BigNik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/73ab20/32.png) [@BigNik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigNik)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/65 "2008-12-12T01:28:38Z")
I was once sold a fridge by a fairly helpful guy whose nametag read ‘Ben’. It wasn’t until I looked at the invoice until I realised that his name was Ben Wa. Great googly moogly - if the parents had that surname they’d _have_ to know, right? And he wouldn’t go by “Benjamin”? That said, there was a fairly powerful state politician here who for years went by “Dick Face”. The fun thing was that no media organisation would ever refer to him without lengthening the name to “Richard”. ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/66 "2008-12-12T04:31:20Z")
> [@Dublin11](#): > > It’s to do with the oft-heard refrain that in some (all?) American accents, merry, marry and Mary sound the same, where as people from other places have different pronunciations for all three. > It’s why English speakers who aren’t American always mangle Maryland, until an American explains it to them. Yeah, they pronounce it “MuhrrLund”. And they say “Balmer”. Hun. I have since given up on demanding people don’t call me ‘hun’ or ‘dear’ or ‘baby’. It’s a regional thing. I now just ignore them. You can fight ignorance, but you can’t change a culture. Such as they are. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/67 "2008-12-12T04:47:04Z")
> [@tim314](#): > > My grandfather’s name was Harry, and it’s never even occurred to me that someone could pronounce it differently than “hairy”. > > Now I have to rewatch the Harry Potter movies to see if the kids pronounce “Harry” and “hairy” differently. If they do, I never noticed it. It’s not just an American thing- remember how, decades back, Monty Python had a sketch about a dim-witted police detective named Harry Organs? ---
**Author:** ![Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crocodiles_And_Boulevards)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/68 "2008-12-12T12:14:25Z")
> [@BigNik](#): > > I was once sold a fridge by a fairly helpful guy whose nametag read ‘Ben’. It wasn’t until I looked at the invoice until I realised that his name was Ben Wa. > > Great googly moogly - if the parents had that surname they’d _have_ to know, right? And he wouldn’t go by “Benjamin”? > > That said, there was a fairly powerful state politician here who for years went by “Dick Face”. The fun thing was that no media organisation would ever refer to him without lengthening the name to “Richard”. Wait… what is “Ben Wa”? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/69 "2008-12-12T13:45:55Z")
> [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](#): > > Wait… what is “Ben Wa”? Ben wa balls are balls inserted into the vagina or anus for sexual stimulation. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/70 "2008-12-12T14:03:06Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > I went to college with a Rusty Dick. > > At the same university, I also knew a Paula Law. Everyone called her Pa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la (as in Deck the halls…) > > But at least Paula could get married and drop the Law. Poor Rusty… There was a ballplayer named Rusty Kuntz. A more unappetizing image is hard to imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/71 "2008-12-12T14:31:13Z")
> [@BigNik](#): > > That said, there was a fairly powerful state politician here who for years went by “Dick Face”. The fun thing was that no media organisation would ever refer to him without lengthening the name to “Richard”. You must be in Australia. I’m sure I remember an Aussie reporter telling me about him. ---
**Author:** ![Wash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9dc877/32.png) [@Wash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wash)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559/72 "2008-12-12T14:51:12Z")
The best way I can describe the difference between Harry/hairy or marry/Mary/merry is that the vowel sounds in Harry, marry and merry are shorter than in hairy and Mary. The ha- and ma- sounds in Harry and marry would have the same length and sound as they do in hat or mat, only followed with a -ree rather than a -t. Merry would be the same (only matching up with met, obviously). Hairy and Mary, meanwhile, have the longer vowel sounds that most American accents use. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-would-you-name-your-kid/476559.md?page=3)