# Why you cannot take someone else's ball(s) and go home **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 8, 2019, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226 "2019-04-08T16:25:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/21 "2019-04-08T19:26:13Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Maybe the proof is in the pudding? Nope, more like the baby’s in the batter. :o ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/22 "2019-04-08T19:45:09Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Also: Testicle Ethics - band name! I was gonna nominate for thread title of the year. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/23 "2019-04-08T20:00:56Z")
You make a dead man cum? Not with the help of medical science you won’t. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/24 "2019-04-08T20:12:52Z")
> [@eschrodinger](#): > > Sperm donation doesn’t work like that. Why couldn’t testicle donation work the same way as sperm donation, as long as it is all spelled out in advance? That was kind of what I was thinking as well. Sperm donations don’t grant any sort of visitation rights to the donor’s family, so why would a testicle donation? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/25 "2019-04-08T20:17:53Z")
> [@Mr.Greenjeans](#): > > I might flip it around: > > The Ethical Testicles Much better rhythm. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/26 "2019-04-08T21:20:18Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The problem is that you cannot sign away the hereditary rights for sisters, brothers, parents grandparents, uncles, aunts etc. The child of the donor’s sperm would be related to the donor’s family. Why would this need to be treated any different legally than donating sperm “anonymously” through a clinic? The resulting child doesn’t have any inheritance rights from the donor or his family. Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/27 "2019-04-08T21:21:15Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > You make a dead man cum? Not with the help of medical science you won’t. Don’t get me started… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/28 "2019-04-08T21:25:22Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Why would this need to be treated any different legally than donating sperm “anonymously” through a clinic? The resulting child doesn’t have any inheritance rights from the donor or his family. > > Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk Can you sign a contract with a clinic giving them exclusive rights to your sperm? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/29 "2019-04-08T22:00:38Z")
For me, it would depend heavily on the royalty agreement. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/30 "2019-04-08T22:43:23Z")
Reminds me of an Ann Landers column, from a couple hundred years ago. A married couple was expecting a baby. The mother-to-be explained that she had had a nose job several years prior. She wanted to know if her baby would inherit her new nose or her old one? ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/31 "2019-04-08T23:06:48Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Testicle Ethics - band name! > [@Mr.Greenjeans](#): > > I might flip it around: > > The Ethical Testicles Testicular Ethics Although that might work better as the title of a Dan Brown novel. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2019, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/32 "2019-04-08T23:48:31Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Testicular Ethics > > Although that might work better as the title of a Dan Brown novel. Or Ethicular Testes! (now we’re just getting silly…) ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2019, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/33 "2019-04-09T00:27:54Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Can you sign a contract with a clinic giving them exclusive rights to your sperm? I’ve tried that, but they STILL refuse to help me get it out. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2019, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/34 "2019-04-09T09:10:36Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > While penile transplants can and do happen, I found out that testicle transplants can but _won’t_ But you can get falsies! > **[Testicular Prosthesis: What Is It, Procedure & Recovery](https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/15993-testicular-prosthesis)** > > A testicular prosthesis is an implant that’s placed in the scrotum. This option is available for men born without a testicle or who have had a testicle removed. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2019, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/35 "2019-04-09T11:01:38Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > Reminds me of an Ann Landers column, from a couple hundred years ago. A married couple was expecting a baby. The mother-to-be explained that she had had a nose job several years prior. > > She wanted to know if her baby would inherit her new nose or her old one? Hopefully, the father’s… ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2019, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/36 "2019-04-09T15:28:25Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Can you sign a contract with a clinic giving them exclusive rights to your sperm? I have no idea. But what does it matter? If I go produce my donation in a little cup, and the clinic uses it to produce 1000 children, that’s only really different in scale versus donating my nads and having some other guy produce a few kids using them after I’m dead. Neither option grants my parents, brother, aunts, uncles or cousins any rights, expectations or anything at all to do with either the thousand sperm donation children, or the handful produced by some guy using the actual transplanted organs. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2019, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/37 "2019-04-09T16:42:06Z")
Nah, guys. The double dactyl wins. > [@Mr.Greenjeans](#): > > I might flip it around: > > The Ethical Testicles ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2019, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/38 "2019-04-09T16:57:10Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > I’ve tried that, but they STILL refuse to help me get it out. You need a better lawyer negotiating your contract; try Robert Kraft’s. > [@Melbourne](#): > > But you can get falsies! …for your [pet](https://www.neuticles.com/) > [@Neuticles](#): > > helping neuter hesitant pet owners overcome the trauma of altering and allowing their beloved pet to retain its natural look and **self esteem**. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2019, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226/39 "2019-04-09T19:27:30Z")
Why couldn’t they be required to have a vasectomy? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-cannot-take-someone-elses-ball-s-and-go-home/832226.md?page=1)