# "Why YOU....... I Oughta..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 28, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257 "2009-11-28T18:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/1 "2009-11-28T18:05:46Z")
“Halt, in the name of the law!” “Gee whiz, Betty Jane, that’s **swell**!” “You’re a **chump** , you _always_ been a chump!” “He took a **powder**! After him!” “Calling all cars, calling all cars!” Your turn:) (old movie dialogue) Q ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/2 "2009-11-28T18:12:19Z")
Aww, gee whilickers, Wally! ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/3 "2009-11-28T18:15:53Z")
xxxxxx xxx xxx xxxx xxx xxxx xxxx, see? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/4 "2009-11-28T18:59:14Z")
“One look at that broad and you knew she was TROUBLE.” “Gosh, she sure is dreamy.” / “Oh boy, is he a dreamboat!” “A nice dame like you doesn’t want to get mixed up with a no-good guy like me.” “Take me to you leader.” “We interrupt this broadcast for an important announcement…” ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/5 "2009-11-28T19:02:37Z")
“Give him the what for!” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/6 "2009-11-28T19:12:01Z")
Aw, don’t get sore, we’re just kidding around!" ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/7 "2009-11-28T19:36:28Z")
“Oh, a wise guy huh?” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/8 "2009-11-28T19:37:47Z")
Go ahead and pull the other one. It’s got bells on it. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/9 "2009-11-28T22:35:07Z")
Here’s an excerpt from a hard-boiled detective story I wrote recently: > [@](#): > > Don Provoloni leaned forward, conspiratorially. "Well, seeing as how you are gonna be rubbed out within the hour, I might as well fill you in. Here’s how it went down: > > “This yegg that I knew from the old days got mixed up with this pretty blonde twist with gams up to her caboose. She gets him hopped up on nose candy, and he’s off the track. Next thing you know, they’ve lammed off with a pile of mazuma belonging to the big Kahuna. He’s in over his head, and knows he’s about to get rubbed out. He gets me on the Ameche and asks me to bail him out before the hatchet men can blow off his melon. I send over a couple of goons to save his stupid mug, but the yegg has taken a powder. The dish drops a dime on him, ankles out of town, and leaves him in the soup. That’s when my son Irving tries to pull a flim-flam and ends up in the hoosegow. But the twist helps him break out of stir cause she’s short on snow and knows that he’s fixed. But they get in a row, and she squirts him full of metal. Before he chills off, he manages to give her the Harlem sunset. We picked you as a ringer to take the rap and dumped her at your flop.” ---
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/10 "2009-11-28T22:37:04Z")
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/11 "2009-11-28T22:53:44Z")
“Oookay, boys. Break it up. Break it up.” ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/12 "2009-11-28T22:55:39Z")
To be fair, I still use chump regularly. That term is timeless. Even better if you do it Bart Simpson style. “Thanks a lot, chum…p!” ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/13 "2009-11-28T22:58:11Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Here’s an excerpt from a hard-boiled detective story I wrote recently: Most of that I get, but what the hell does Don Ameche have to do with anything? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/14 "2009-11-28T23:16:41Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > Most of that I get, but what the hell does Don Ameche have to do with anything? Don Ameche played A.G. Bell in a movie long ago, and for a long time his name became attached to the telephone as a form of popular slang. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2009, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/15 "2009-11-28T23:29:32Z")
Thanks **Tim R. Mortiss** , now we’re all on the trolley. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/16 "2009-11-29T00:26:39Z")
“Follow that car!” ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/17 "2009-11-29T00:33:58Z")
Flippy man, real flippy. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/18 "2009-11-29T00:34:31Z")
Oh…a wise guy, eh? ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/19 "2009-11-29T00:36:11Z")
“Blow it out your diddy bag.” ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/20 "2009-11-29T00:48:15Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Don Ameche played A.G. Bell in a movie long ago, and for a long time his name became attached to the telephone as a form of popular slang. Learn something new everyday. Thanks man! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257.md?page=2)