# "Why YOU....... I Oughta..." **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 28, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257 "2009-11-28T18:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/41 "2009-11-30T16:54:01Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Here’s an excerpt from a hard-boiled detective story I wrote recently: I totally read that in Edward G. Robinson’s voice. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/42 "2009-11-30T17:08:17Z")
“Say pal, what’s shakin’?” “Why I aughta pound you!” “Why I aughta (shake back of hand at other person), maybe I will.” “You say Joey’s the cat’s pajamas, well that’s just applesauce.” “That hoofer’s got great gams.” “The heat’s on Al, buddy. The flatfoot’s gonna pinch him but good!” “I got no beef with you, but I’m not gonna be the fall guy, pal.” ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/43 "2009-11-30T21:57:13Z")
“Get your meat hooks offa me, ya big lug!” ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/44 "2009-11-30T22:28:22Z")
“Stop the presses!” “Where to, mac?” “Telegram!” “Get your bags, mister?” ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/45 "2009-11-30T22:29:55Z")
I’ll send for my things. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/46 "2009-11-30T22:54:58Z")
“You’re quite a dish. Any more at home like you?” “Ah, ya big lug. Git on wit’ yerself already.” “This place is lousy wit’ cops!” “You lay chickie, I’ll go have a look-see.” “Well look what the cat dragged in.” -calling women “sister”- Said by Fred Allen, of the name of the ad firm, Batten, Barton, Durstine and Osborn, “that sounds like a steamer trunk falling down a flight of stairs!” ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/47 "2009-11-30T23:40:32Z")
I won’t play the sap for you! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2009, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/48 "2009-11-30T23:57:22Z")
“Move along, nothin’ to see here.” “Get back! Give him air!” “We interrupt this broadcast for an important news bulletin. Scientists have reported…” “Hello? \ Hello? Oh, it’s no good. The phone is dead!” “We’re not licked yet!” ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/49 "2009-12-01T00:11:09Z")
“Sir, I don’t like this . . . It’s too quiet!” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/50 "2009-12-01T00:31:02Z")
“Sarge? Ain’t you scared?” “Scared, Kid? Heck yes, I’m scared. I’m scared that if we don’t do our jobs tomorrow, we’ll be letting down all those Americans who expect us to fight for liberty and freedom, and win. We’ll be letting down our brothers-in-arms in other branches of the armed services, who expect us to do our jobs so they can do theirs. We’ll be letting down our Allies, who expect us to do what we said we could. We’ll be letting down our President, who sent us because he has faith in democracy and he knows we can defend it. But mostly, we’ll be letting down our families–Mom, Dad, our little brothers and sisters–and our girls. Making all those folks proud of us tomorrow is our responsibility, Kid, and I’m scared we won’t live up to it.” “Don’t worry, Sarge. We’ll get the job done. We’ll make them proud. Won’t we, fellas?” (Chorus of “Yeahs,” and “And hows” and similar agreements.) “That’s good. Now you boys that can, try to get some sleep. We’ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow, and you guys are going to want to be ready.” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/51 "2009-12-01T03:28:22Z")
“Are you threatening me, sir? For if you _are_, by Gadfrey…” Can’t believe no one’s done this one yet: “Is there a doctor in the house?!” ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/52 "2009-12-01T03:37:53Z")
“Give 'em the works!” “Wanna play rough, do ya?” “What’s the big idea?” ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/53 "2009-12-01T05:49:49Z")
Follow that car! Don’t look now… Got a light? ---
**Author:** ![cantara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6f9a4e/32.png) [@cantara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cantara)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/54 "2009-12-01T18:56:17Z")
“Aw, applesauce, Mary!” I use “lousy with” whenever we go someplace crowded. When my kids get their hands into things they shouldn’t, I tell them to keep their meat hooks out. I’m anachronistic… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/55 "2009-12-01T19:06:52Z")
“Tally-ho!” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/56 "2009-12-01T19:33:26Z")
Wadda _you_ lookin’ at, mug? ---
**Author:** ![truthbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@truthbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/truthbot)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/57 "2009-12-01T19:42:13Z")
_backhands the Blonde Dame_ That outta learn ya! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/58 "2009-12-01T19:57:43Z")
Why I aughta pound you! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/59 "2009-12-01T20:15:21Z")
“I vant to be alone!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257/60 "2009-12-01T20:34:09Z")
:: wolf whistle :: “Wouldya getta load of those gams?” “Does she have a sister?” “Ask your mother.” “You’ll take it and you’ll like it!” “Why don’t you go take a long walk off a short pier?” “Aw, quit yer bellyachin’.” “Shut up or I’ll give ya somethin’ to cry about.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-i-oughta/519257.md?page=4)