# Why you should keep kitty away from Jehovah's Witnesses **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 30, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350 "2005-01-30T00:59:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/1 "2005-01-30T00:59:11Z")
Apparently, [the writer of this article is dead serious.](http://dbhome.dk/carlo/cat.htm) Who knew there were people who still believe this wooze today? It would be totally hysterical were it not for the disturbing course of action that the author suggests “true Christians” take. (BTW, I choose to believe this is not an official policy of the Jehovah’s Witnesses but rather an even more whacked-out sub-sect.) ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/2 "2005-01-30T01:32:07Z")
> [@http://dbhome.dk/carlo/cat.htm](#): > > Yes, when Satan is finally abyssed, the ‘beastly’ nature of felines will be forever abolished, and they will be fit companions for humans on Paradise Earth! But until that rapidly-approaching time, God will reward all of our efforts to maintain integrity by loyally submitting to the leading of his spirit expressed through the loving guidance of the ‘faithful and discreet slave’. -Matt. 24:45-47 I see some logic here. Crude, perverse logic, but logic it is. _Cats don’t follow orders._ They’re no one’s slaves. They don’t reward human notions of authority and power. If you put an authoritarian God at the center of your world view, of course _Felis cattus domesticus_ is going to disappoint you. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/3 "2005-01-30T01:35:22Z")
I saw this written up over at [Pharyngula](http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/comments/cats_must_die/) (which is, by the way, a really cool blog.) I couldn’t believe it there either. Jeezopete. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/4 "2005-01-30T01:38:21Z")
Clearly, God is a dog person. :rolleyes: Of course I mean that God likes dogs, and not that he is some sort of half dog/half person dogstrosity. That would be blasphemous. Ya know, I’m not a big fan of cats either, but calling them servants of Satan seems a tad much. ---
**Author:** ![ReuvenB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@ReuvenB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReuvenB)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/5 "2005-01-30T01:41:22Z")
" Indeed, modern studies of classification of cats, while not necessarily being reliable as they may be based on the discredited ‘theory’ of evolution, strongly associate felines with serpents (despite some external differences in physiology and morphology, which confuse those who do not study these matters deeply)." There are so many things wrong with this sentence. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/6 "2005-01-30T01:54:35Z")
Hoax. [http://www.towerwatch.com/articles\_and\_stories/Stories/are\_cats\_for\_christians.htm](http://www.towerwatch.com/articles_and_stories/Stories/are_cats_for_christians.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Mirasol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Mirasol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirasol)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/7 "2005-01-30T01:59:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Would it be proper to hand over such a creature of Satan to a person of the world? We see no immediate problem with this, as such a person is already immersed in the wicked ways of this system of things, and so a beastly companion would be a fitting one indeed. They could accompany eachother on the road to destruction, …I found this to be a rather poetic idea. Hey, we may both be damned, but at least a kitty companion and I could have each other along the way. I typed up a bunch of other stuff, too, but on preview y’alls beat me. Damn you all with the cats! ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/8 "2005-01-30T02:12:38Z")
I find that religious doctrine is often too dogmatic… …runs away \>\>\> ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/9 "2005-01-30T02:14:18Z")
There’s lots of words there but they don’t actually say anything that makes any sense. A couple samples. \*Cats were worshipped by ancient Egyptians that means they might make us worship false idols. \* Maybe those aren’t hairballs maybe they are false idols the cats are trying to get me to worship? \*Cats may have been present at the party where John the Baptist was beheaded so they are a bad influence. \* I’m sure the cats were egging Herod on. _Early Christians were fed to lions, lions are related to cats therefore cats are evil._ Those early Christians were fed to the lions by humans. _Cats can carry Salmonella which can make people sick therefore they are evil._ So are chickens evil? Are turtles? Is mayonaisse that’s been left out in the sun for a couple hours evil? _Cats lick themselves, pee on the floor, and are playful! They must be evil!_ Uh … dogs do all that too. _People spend precious time cleaning litter boxes and buying cat food that could be better spent worshipping the Lord!_ Can’t they just pray while they scoop? Things they accuse cats of apply to most animals, plus they are anthropomorphizing them. I can’t read this anymore, it makes my head hurt like math. BTW, here’s a [CDC report](http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/EID/vol10no12/04-0904.htm) about cats and salmonella. In 278 healthy cats only one cat had salmonella. Yep, that’s a plague waiting to happen. From the article: > [@](#): > > This study concluded that, although cats can transmit Salmonella strains, healthy house cats are generally safe. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/10 "2005-01-30T02:25:57Z")
> [@fighting ignorant](#): > > I find that religious doctrine is often too dogmatic… > > …runs away \>\>\> Well, not the eschatological stuff … that tends to be catastrophic! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/11 "2005-01-30T02:48:31Z")
Wasn’t that the reasoning of the church during the Middle Ages? When they burned cats along with heretics, and then got screwed during the plague years when there were no cats to kill all the disease-carrying rodents? ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/12 "2005-01-30T02:55:42Z")
I guess this explains why **Cat** holics are not true Christians! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/13 "2005-01-30T03:07:38Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Is mayonaisse that’s been left out in the sun for a couple hours evil? Actually, he’d have a point there. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/14 "2005-01-30T07:12:05Z")
Oh well. I guess I’m just darned to an eternity in heck. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/15 "2005-01-30T09:43:00Z")
:smack: Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve been had. It did seem when I first read the article that it was a little too ridiculous to be serious but [given the wide spectrum of “eccentric” opinions on the web,](http://www.crank.net/) I wasn’t quite sure. If there’s one thing you’ll learn about the internet, it’s that there’s no limit on the absurdity of things people will believe or opinions people will espouse. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/16 "2005-01-30T17:06:58Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Is mayonaisse that’s been left out in the sun for a couple hours evil? Isn’t that true of _all_ mayonnaise? \ ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/17 "2005-01-30T19:21:57Z")
That was one of the most stupid “essays” I have ever seen. Nothing states that cats didn’t hang out with Herod. Well, likewise nothing says I didn’t just rob the neighborhood bank either. Feeding cats steals time from worship. So does feeding your children. Better let them starve. Cats eat mice, blood and all. OK, let’s teach them to Just Say No. Icky eating habits are bad, bubonic plague is cool? Cats are independent and don’t blindly follow orders. And that’s a bad thing? Cats are playful. Nothing infuriates a fanatic more than the possibility that someone out there might be having a good time. Cats lick themselves. Mkay, be honest now, how many of us wish we could do that too? [the Waterboy]Don’t be messin’ with no cats, it’s the devil![/the Waterboy] That whole “thesis” is either a big whoosh, or someone is very deranged. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/18 "2005-01-30T22:15:53Z")
Harborwolf writes: \> Clearly, God is a dog person. You know what an agnostic dyslectic insomniac is? It’s someone who stays up all night wondering, “Is there a dog?” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/19 "2005-01-31T00:46:36Z")
> [@brianjedi](#): > > Hoax. > > [http://www.towerwatch.com/articles\_and\_stories/Stories/are\_cats\_for\_christians.htm](http://www.towerwatch.com/articles_and_stories/Stories/are_cats_for_christians.htm) Did nobody notice this? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350/20 "2005-01-31T01:05:04Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Things they accuse cats of apply to most animals, plus they are anthropomorphizing them. I can’t read this anymore, it makes my head hurt like math. If cats are evil, ferrets are devils made flesh. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-you-should-keep-kitty-away-from-jehovahs-witnesses/287350.md?page=2)