# Wife caught sexting lover while at Atlanta Braves game with clueless husband. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 25, 2015, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142 "2015-07-25T08:18:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/181 "2015-07-29T01:12:26Z")
Or they don’t actually exist. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/182 "2015-07-29T13:13:50Z")
As a relative newcomer here, this thread has illuminated a distressing number of moralists inhabiting this board. Butt the fuck out, people. You’re not doing “good.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/183 "2015-07-29T14:33:13Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Or they don’t actually exist. Or they just haven’t heard about this, because “viral” stuff on the Internet actually has a fairly low penetration (heh) rate. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/184 "2015-07-29T16:34:25Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Or they don’t actually exist. Bingo. ---
**Author:** ![fjs1fs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9e8a1a/32.png) [@fjs1fs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fjs1fs)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/185 "2015-07-29T18:14:59Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > That’s not the topic of this thread. Of course cheating is wrong. The more interesting conversation is the morality of what the snoopers did. Yes, the “morality” of snooping is the “main” focus of the thread. However, in reading the entire story presented by the first poster, two “behaviors” should be noted by the reader: a cheating wife/girlfriend texting to her lover right in front of her spouse/bf and two nosy snoopers reading said texts and publicizing them. Just to make my point, let’s change the “cheater’s” bad behavior to being an ISIS member planning to blow something up and kill thousands of people (and NO, I’m not saying that cheating on your spouse/gf/bf is anywhere near being comparable to that–so please everyone don’t sidetrack this by going there)–would the rest of this thread still be decrying the horrors of nosy snoopers gone wild? So my point is that while nosy snoopers reading others’ texts is a rude endeavor, to me their behavior paled in comparison to that of the cheater; I don’t think everyone agrees with me (this in response to an earlier poster who said something like “nobody on here is condoning cheating.”) Focusing one’s ire on the snoops rather than on the cheaters gives the appearance (at least to me) that the commenter believes that the former are the more serious transgressers. I also agree with other posters that the snoops should have just told the husband/bf as opposed to publicizing the texts, which could obviously add to his humiliation. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/186 "2015-07-29T18:43:28Z")
If the snoopers reported the terrorist plans to the proper authorities then they are good, caring citizens. If they posted it on social media then they are attention whores. ETA:Reading someone else’s private correspondence is rude. I can forgive rudeness in consideration of an overwhelming civic good. This situation does not meet that forgiveness level. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/187 "2015-07-29T18:47:55Z")
> [@fjs1fs](#): > > Yes, the “morality” of snooping is the “main” focus of the thread. However, in reading the entire story presented by the first poster, two “behaviors” should be noted by the reader: a cheating wife/girlfriend texting to her lover right in front of her spouse/bf and two nosy snoopers reading said texts and publicizing them. Just to make my point, let’s change the “cheater’s” bad behavior to being an ISIS member planning to blow something up and kill thousands of people (and NO, I’m not saying that cheating on your spouse/gf/bf is anywhere near being comparable to that–so please everyone don’t sidetrack this by going there)–would the rest of this thread still be decrying the horrors of nosy snoopers gone wild? I told the story earlier that I, as a sysadmin, got other peoples’ mis-addressed e-mails, which I read in the hope of finding out who they should have gone to. I learned shit I shouldn’t have learned, and I absolutely kept that to myself and didn’t make moral judgments of people. But if I had learned something serious, like embezzling, I probably would have taken that to management. What about people, like HR staff, who have legitimate access to all sorts of confidential information? Of course they are supposed to keep that confidential! Shoulder-surfing strangers, if they really must shoulder surf intentionally (jerkish enough though that is already), should keep that to themselves. Even tattling to the husband is seriously jerkish, let alone putting it on the net. In another thread, someone recently accused me of living in another world over something like this. Fair enough. I sure don’t want to live in a world full of jerks like those snooper/tattlers, and like **Red Wiggler** a few posts above, I find it distressing to share a world with so many people who actually defend such behavior. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/188 "2015-07-29T18:48:04Z")
> [@fjs1fs](#): > > Yes, the “morality” of snooping is the “main” focus of the thread. However, in reading the entire story presented by the first poster, two “behaviors” should be noted by the reader: a cheating wife/girlfriend texting to her lover right in front of her spouse/bf and two nosy snoopers reading said texts and publicizing them. Just to make my point, let’s change the “cheater’s” bad behavior to being an ISIS member planning to blow something up and kill thousands of people (and NO, I’m not saying that cheating on your spouse/gf/bf is anywhere near being comparable to that–so please everyone don’t sidetrack this by going there)–would the rest of this thread still be decrying the horrors of nosy snoopers gone wild? > > So my point is that while nosy snoopers reading others’ texts is a rude endeavor, to me their behavior paled in comparison to that of the cheater; I don’t think everyone agrees with me (this in response to an earlier poster who said something like “nobody on here is condoning cheating.”) Focusing one’s ire on the snoops rather than on the cheaters gives the appearance (at least to me) that the commenter believes that the former are the more serious transgressers. > > I also agree with other posters that the snoops should have just told the husband/bf as opposed to publicizing the texts, which could obviously add to his humiliation. Since you already acknowledge that cheating spouse is not even in the same ballpark as a terrorist attack, the point you’re making makes no sense. With regard to the snoopers, they were nosy busybodies and don’t deserve praise for what they did. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/189 "2015-07-29T18:51:30Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Since you already acknowledge that cheating spouse is not even in the same ballpark as a terrorist attack, . . . I see what you did there! Now, if this had happened at, say, the Opera House . . . It would still have been just as jerkish! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/190 "2015-07-29T19:17:06Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > I told the story earlier that I, as a sysadmin, got other peoples’ mis-addressed e-mails, which I read in the hope of finding out who they should have gone to. I learned shit I shouldn’t have learned, and I absolutely kept that to myself and didn’t make moral judgments of people. But if I had learned something serious, like embezzling, I probably would have taken that to management. I used to administer a Data Loss Prevention system at a good sized company. One part of my job was to receive alerts generated by the system and then go read the emails that generated the alerts to see if they were really data losses or false positives. I spent hours reading people’s emails. (Tip: try not to use your corporate email for personal stuff. We’re watching that shit!) Anyway, snooping on people’s email is kind of exciting and for about the first, oh, hour. Then it just gets damned depressing. I _haaaated_ reading people’s personal crap. If you were trying to steal our data, I wanted to catch you. If you were sending a letter to your spouse trying to convince them not to divorce you, no. Just no. I have enough problems of my own without reading about my co-workers’. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/191 "2015-07-29T19:31:35Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I’m actually kind of surprised that we haven’t heard any thing from the couple in this story. I seriously wonder if they’re lawyering up to sue the girls for invasion of privacy or intentional infliction of emotional distress or something like that. > [@Miller](#): > > Or they don’t actually exist. Taken together, with the lack of any further information, I wonder if this is all a scam. Everything that gets started like this eventually outs anyone involved, and seeing how we haven’t heard anymore from the spied upon couple, what if all of them were in collusion? For the lulz or to drive the numbers up on their various social media sites or to land them a gig as the Daring Duo of Doom Decrying Duplicity via a book deal? It’s just afterwards you find out their hoaxes lots. Jimmy Fallon, Paris Hilton, somebody accuses a political opponent of trashing their car or whatever. I simply will not be surprised if these two get outed for orchestrating the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/192 "2015-07-29T20:03:32Z")
I thought it was a little too pat, myself, and some of the photos make it seem they must have been very close behind the woman. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/193 "2015-07-29T20:41:58Z")
> [@fjs1fs](#): > > Yes, the “morality” of snooping is the “main” focus of the thread. However, in reading the entire story presented by the first poster, two “behaviors” should be noted by the reader: a cheating wife/girlfriend texting to her lover right in front of her spouse/bf and two nosy snoopers reading said texts and publicizing them. Just to make my point, let’s change the “cheater’s” bad behavior to being an ISIS member planning to blow something up and kill thousands of people (and NO, I’m not saying that cheating on your spouse/gf/bf is anywhere near being comparable to that–so please everyone don’t sidetrack this by going there)–would the rest of this thread still be decrying the horrors of nosy snoopers gone wild? No, because - and here’s the really crucial part - cheating on your spouse is not anywhere near to being comparable to being a terrorist. > [@](#): > > Focusing one’s ire on the snoops rather than on the cheaters gives the appearance (at least to me) that the commenter believes that the former are the more serious transgressers. This seems to be much more your problem than ours. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2015, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/194 "2015-07-29T20:57:02Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I thought it was a little too pat, myself, and some of the photos make it seem they must have been very close behind the woman. Interesting thought. And I thought that I was cynical! ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/195 "2015-07-30T17:50:59Z")
I think they were probably using the zoom feature of their cell phone camera. I took a couple of zoomed-in pictures of my nephew performing in a play a few days ago, and I noticed today that the pictures look like I was taking the photo inches away from the lady in front’s shoulder, though I know I was sitting a good couple of feet behind her. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/196 "2015-07-31T16:03:34Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Basically this. Have you ever been to a baseball game? did you see the pictures? someone texting in the row in front of you is going to be directly in your field of view, you don’t have to go out of your way to read their texts, they are showing them to you. Plus, as **LSL Guy** pointed out, if you’re at a Braves game, you’re pretty desperate for something entertaining to look at. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bruce\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/197 "2015-07-31T17:21:41Z")
> **[Football fan sees spectator sexting in front of her boyfriend](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2867973/Football-fan-passes-note-man-sitting-claiming-pregnant-girlfriend-cheat-spotted-sending-romantic-texts-man-game.html)** > > A man named 'Lye' has written about his experiences confronting a stranger at a Detroit Lions football game, after he claims he saw the man's girlfriend sexting another man throughout the game. I swear I’d seen a story exactly like this before. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/198 "2015-09-11T19:37:55Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > I’m just utterly gobsmacked that there are supposedly civilized people, even here on the Straight Dope Message Board, who think the two nosy twits were behaving well, first in reading a text over some stranger’s shoulder, and secondly in posting it publicly. I’m just flabbergasted that anyone defends them. Keep me away from all those self-righteous defenders please! (Yeah, I got a guy something like that living in the apartment next door to me.) I’m gobsmacked that there are so many of you who think being nosy is this absolutely horrible thing that is worse than fucking adultery. Adultery is an immoral act, a violation of one’s vows to another. A betrayal. Being nosy is a nuisance. You shouldn’t do it because it can annoy people, and you really shouldn’t set out to annoy people, but it’s not itself wrong. \*\* Now, they shouldn’t have publicly shamed her like that. They should have dealt with it privately, telling the husband and letting him decide what to do from there. But they have a moral responsibility to do something. \*\* You don’t get to find out about something immoral and then say “none of my business.” That’s how people get away with immoral things. And, yes, I know there’s some debate about what is moral, but most of us agree adultery is wrong. When you find out about soemthing immoral, you do what you can to fix it, **even if you found out about it while doing something rude**. If you don’t, you’re an accomplice or an an enabler. \*\* Being more upset about the nosy person is like being more upset about the girl who got blind drunk than the guy who raped her. It’s a completely ass-backwards set of moral priorities. \*\* You even have people saying “No one is condoning adultery in this thread” but not a single one of you who are upset about “nosiness” have said anything bad about it. You’ve made excuses for why he shouldn’t have been told. You are trying to excuse it by removing any chance at consequences. You’ve even argued that adultery is not a crime. Neither is being nosy. But you’re fine with making that the absolute worst thing in the world, while acting like it’s wrong to think adultery is something you should do something about. You guys are treating bad manners as worse than fucking adultery. On a board where you guys go on and on about how manners are stupid and everyone should be upfront. On a board that has a forum specifically so you can lash out at people rather than being polite. Oh, and hi to the people in that forum after this gets mentioned in **aceplace** ’s pit thread. Thanks for proving my point about being polite. I’m being impolite, you’re being impolite. You’d laugh at me if I called you despicable. Being nosy is impolite. Sharing with the world is worse. Adultery, is in another category. It’s marriage destroying bad. None of y’all freaked out about checking out _Ashley Madison_. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2015, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/199 "2015-09-11T19:45:06Z")
Bolded opinion is that little extra bit more convincing, to be sure, but it was the comparison to blaming a rape victim that really made your point. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2015, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142/200 "2015-09-11T20:15:52Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I’m gobsmacked Yeah, I’m getting that vibe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-caught-sexting-lover-while-at-atlanta-braves-game-with-clueless-husband/726142.md?page=11)