# Wife comatose? Fuck her when you visit again and again. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 12, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276 "2008-09-12T15:07:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/61 "2008-09-12T18:43:59Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > In this case, I think it IS the business of other people, when you are abusing or assaulting or raping your spouse. > > If he’d left her or seen a hooker, okay, sure, maybe it’s not classy, but in that case, you’re right, not our business. When you break the law, it kind of is. Seeing a hooker is breaking the law. Also, I don’t think I’d do it myself, but I can see the real need to be close to her. She isn’t dead, but isn’t really here. How can someone who’s truly in love get over something like that? I don’t really see it as rape if she would have said yes. If the wife would have no problem with this where is the harm? That said, there is no way of knowing what the wife would have wanted of course. But this doesn’t strike me as rape. It strikes me as a pathetic situation where a man is alone and in need of closeness and is afraid to let go and break his vows. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/62 "2008-09-12T18:46:47Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Why is nobody shocked that this happened in Wisconsin? Because if the woman’s name was Wisconsin, the state song would still be On Wisconsin? Isn’t Wisconsin Dahmer’s home state. Wasn’t Gacy born there too? I’m from California, and for body counts we still have Juan Corona and a few others with numbers so high it makes me sick. Oh, and Manson, Ng and Lake, Rameriz, etc. Did I leave out O.J., Blake and Spector? Silly me. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/63 "2008-09-12T18:49:01Z")
…and this is why I’ve made it clear to The Boy that he is to ensure all life support measures are withdrawn if I should ever end up in an extended coma or vegetative state. Easier to get a date when you’re a widower. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/64 "2008-09-12T19:00:17Z")
EWW. IMHO if your spouse ceases to be able to function as a spouse (i.e. parenting, communicating with you, supporting you, acting as an independent agent with free will) the marriage is over. You get to walk away, or you can stay as a carer, but the relationship dynamic has changed. Sex with your spouse is off the table. Personally, I’d be less squicked with a prostitute, a large internet porn bill or a girlfriend on the side. My living will is written. No CPR longer than 10 minutes. No more than 5 shocks during CPR. No artificial hydration, nutrition or ventilation longer than 28 days. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/65 "2008-09-12T19:24:50Z")
Just out of curiosity, how is this any different, legally, than having sex with someone you’re sleeping with. I’ve woken up a time or two to a hummer, and I don’t feel that constitutes rape, as there was an implied sexual understanding. Sure this man and his wife had that before she fell into the coma… Fine, you’re right. It’s squicky. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/66 "2008-09-12T19:51:26Z")
Yeah, aside from the consent issue, this guy had to move her foley tube and probably her butt tube (whatever the fuck that thing’s called) to do the do. I call that ‘hard up’. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/67 "2008-09-12T19:52:39Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Well, this one is weird, and a tough call. I mean, kissing someone without their consent is also assault, right? But would anyone be creeped out by a husband \*kissing \*his comatose wife? Wouldn’t most of use think that’s sweet? Depends. If he gives her a peck on the cheek or the lips that’s one thing. If I come in the room and he’s open mouth frenching her the guys got a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/68 "2008-09-12T20:02:43Z")
Is anyone else being reminded kinda sorta of [this?](http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780345366764) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/69 "2008-09-12T20:04:41Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Can marital rape occur if the woman never says “no”? Does marriage imply consent until it is withdrawn by one of the parties? Yes. No. I don’t think I’ll ever understand anyone who’d want to fuck someone who doesn’t want to fuck them back (or is sleeping). ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/70 "2008-09-12T20:23:50Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Yes. No. I don’t think I’ll ever understand anyone who’d want to fuck someone who doesn’t want to fuck them back (or is sleeping). Is this your personal opinion? 'Cause I was looking for a legal opinion. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/71 "2008-09-12T20:39:41Z")
I seem to recall an episode of ER where the husband in a persistent vegetative state due to an accident. Before unhooking the respirator, the wife, with the full support and connivance of the hospital staff, used a vibrator to stimulate the husband to an erection, and had sex with the intention of getting pregnant. According to the wife, she and her husband had planned to have children, were about to start trying to get pregnant, etc. I’m having difficulty thinking why this is any less skeevy than the other case. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/72 "2008-09-12T20:50:17Z")
Maybe it is wrong, but… wouldn’t it be worse if a random stranger walked in and banged her? Do you think her husband should face the same penalties as would a stranger? What about the “waking up to a hummer” analogy upthread? Couldn’t I press charges against my wife (yeah, right!!! LOL, okay, tears) an ex-girlfriend for rape? ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/73 "2008-09-12T22:09:31Z")
It’s so unfair, though. If my husband were comatose, I bet there’d be little chance of him getting it up for me. Oh, that is just sick! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/74 "2008-09-12T22:11:41Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > Maybe it is wrong, but… > > wouldn’t it be worse if a random stranger walked in and banged her? Do you think her husband should face the same penalties as would a stranger? Well, yeah, why is it worse for a stranger? Is there more of an obligation to sexually accommodating towards your spouse? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/75 "2008-09-12T22:13:28Z")
Look, if a fellow can’t legally use his comatose spouse as a spitoon for his semen, then all I can say is that Western Civilization is doomed. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/76 "2008-09-12T22:20:52Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Is this your personal opinion? 'Cause I was looking for a legal opinion. Marital rape became illegal in all 50 states a whopping 15 years ago. Ostensibly, this means that just because two people are married does not mean situations that would otherwise constitute rape can be disregarded (though I don’t doubt that they often are, especially since marital rape takes place in about half of abusive relationships). I don’t see why it would be different from acquaintance rape, date rape, or getting raped by a boyfriend. I did find this interesting info (from [here](http://www.refugehouse.com/resources_marital_rape.html)) > [@](#): > > In 33 states, for example, a husband is still exempt from prosecution for the sexual assault of his wife if she is mentally or physically impaired, unconscious, or even asleep. It is estimated that 10—14% of women are subjected to this crime every year. Maybe the guy will get off. Again. Ha. I’ve heard guys, lovely guys, say women are just support systems for their cunts, but this is ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/77 "2008-09-12T22:37:58Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I wonder how the Schindler’s would have reacted if they caught Michael Schivao in the act with Terri? They would probably have protested being pluralized with an apostrophe. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/78 "2008-09-12T22:39:00Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Look, if a fellow can’t legally use his comatose spouse as a spitoon for his semen, then all I can say is that Western Civilization is doomed. Western Civilization IS doomed, but for entirely different reasons. Modesty forbids my naming the author of its downfall. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/79 "2008-09-12T22:49:09Z")
Interestingly, the reverse situation was the heart of a [well-respected novel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_According_to_Garp). ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2008, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276/80 "2008-09-12T22:56:41Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Maybe the guy will get off. Bwuh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-comatose-fuck-her-when-you-visit-again-and-again/463276.md?page=5)