# Wife writing thank you note for me. Rude? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 29, 2011, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443 "2011-08-29T01:11:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anchuldigs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Anchuldigs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anchuldigs)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/1 "2011-08-29T01:11:42Z")
I need to write a thank you letter to someone, but my handwriting looks like chicken scratch. I don’t think this person has ever seen my handwriting. Is it rude for my wife to write the thank you letter for me? Obviously, I can sign it myself. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/2 "2011-08-29T01:12:59Z")
I would recommend typing it and signing it yourself, rather than having two distinctly different types of handwriting. ---
**Author:** ![Anchuldigs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Anchuldigs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anchuldigs)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/3 "2011-08-29T01:31:20Z")
Cannot type. I want to use our stationary and I don’t think my printer can print onto it. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/4 "2011-08-29T02:17:50Z")
Then I would just bite the bullet and try to write as legibly as possible. The purpose of a handwritten thank you note is to indicate that you put time, effort, and thought into sincerely thanking the person for what they did. Having someone else write it, IMO, appears half-hearted, like maybe she forced you to do the thank you note but could only convince you to sign it instead of doing the whole thing yourself. Just take your time and write slowly, or see if you can’t do a couple test pages on your stationary. ---
**Author:** ![Anchuldigs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Anchuldigs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anchuldigs)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/5 "2011-08-29T02:34:05Z")
Even if he never saw my handwriting? And even if he might not be able to read it? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/6 "2011-08-29T02:39:04Z")
Unless your wife will be signing it for you, it’ll be noticeably different from the signature anyway. I get where you are coming from, I just think it diminishes the personal nature of a handwritten thank you note to have a different person write it. Maybe if the note was from you and your wife, for a favor that the person did which benefitted the both of you, then she could write it and you could both sign it. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/7 "2011-08-29T02:48:07Z")
Don’t people’s signatures look different than their handwriting anyway? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/8 "2011-08-29T02:54:11Z")
Sure, written script will look different from a signature, but if two different people are writing each part it is going to look more drastic. My signature doesn’t look exactly like my handwriting, but it’s still very similar, and my handwriting would look out of place if my husband were to sign my name at the bottom instead of me signing it. If his handwriting is as bad as he says it is, it’s going to be noticeable that they weren’t written by the same person. People with neat handwriting tend to have neater signatures[sup]\*[/sup] [sup]\*[/sup]Before a million people post to say “I have perfect victorian handwriting and my signature looks like a toddler drew it with their toes!” I’m just basing it off of my experiences with people whose handwriting and signatures I have seen. ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/9 "2011-08-29T09:13:25Z")
Add a P.S. to your signature of: My wife was kind enough to write this letter for me because my handwriting is monkey shit (or perhaps a more appropriate phrase). ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/10 "2011-08-29T10:09:49Z")
I think either way would be fine, but I would tend toward writing it yourself. Legibility is really not that important in a thank-you note, beyond the first two words. It’s not that you said anything in particular: it’s that you took the time to say something. Also, it’s ok to print, if your print is more legible than your writing. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/11 "2011-08-29T10:53:21Z")
Use letters cut out of newspapers. I think it’s very appropriate for a “thank you not.” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/12 "2011-08-29T11:03:40Z")
Several people mentioned the signature and letter having different handwriting… maybe this is one of those cultural differences: I noticed that most of my American coworkers had spelled-out, legible signatures, while most Europeans go for “illegible chicken scratch” or “looks like a kid’s notion of a cloud”. I don’t think it’s rude, but if you’re able to write block letters readably, that would be more personal. I’ve got friends whose spouses or siblings will write for them anything that needs to be handwritten due to dyslexia or to handwriting so bad that even block letters leave you thinking “is that an N or an M? Maybe a W?” The invitations to Middlebro’s wedding were handwritten, with two different people writing the notes themselves (Mom and future-SiL) and two others (Littlebro and myself) writing the envelopes: Middlebro is dyslexic and does some strange things with certain letters. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/13 "2011-08-29T11:39:57Z")
> [@Dereknocue67](#): > > Add a P.S. to your signature of: > > My wife was kind enough to write this letter for me because my handwriting is monkey shit (or perhaps a more appropriate phrase). That’s what I was going to suggest. Or just start out the note with “my wife and I are sitting here enjoying the lovely boxed wine you sent us…etc.” ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/14 "2011-08-29T11:46:14Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Several people mentioned the signature and letter having different handwriting… maybe this is one of those cultural differences: I noticed that most of my American coworkers had spelled-out, legible signatures, while most Europeans go for “illegible chicken scratch” or “looks like a kid’s notion of a cloud”. I think you’re on to something here – my (German) husband’s signature looks like a sideways tornado. His handwriting isn’t super-legible, but at least you can make out that it’s composed of letters, whereas his signature? Severe storm system. OP, I would make every effort to write the note yourself. Block print if that helps, take your time writing it, keep it short and to the point, but it will mean more coming directly from you. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/15 "2011-08-29T13:16:37Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Sure, written script will look different from a signature, but if two different people are writing each part it is going to look more drastic. Plus, women’s handwriting [arguably](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=622149) looks different from men’s. Especially if your wife dots her i’s with little hearts. > [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Use letters cut out of newspapers. I think it’s very appropriate for a “ **thank you not**.” Was this deliberate, or a typo? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/16 "2011-08-29T13:24:03Z")
If it’s that bad and this won’t be the only time you need to get something like this out, why not check the pawn shops (or wherever) for an old typewriter? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/17 "2011-08-29T13:33:45Z")
Unless you have some kind of physical condition that makes it impossible for you to write legibly, there is no reason for you not to be able to write one little thank you note legibly. Just do it. That being said, I believe that historically it was very common for men to leave the writing of such notes to their wives or secretaries and it wasn’t considered unusual or rude. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/18 "2011-08-29T13:53:42Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Plus, women’s handwriting [arguably](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=622149) looks different from men’s. Especially if your wife dots her i’s with little hearts. > > Was this deliberate, or a typo? 🙂 See thread title. 🙂 To answer the OP, I don’t think it’s rude or a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/19 "2011-08-29T14:17:09Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Unless you have some kind of physical condition that makes it impossible for you to write legibly, there is no reason for you not to be able to write one little thank you note legibly. Just do it. > > That being said, I believe that historically it was very common for men to leave the writing of such notes to their wives or secretaries and it wasn’t considered unusual or rude. Both these are true. But we aren’t in 1890 any longer and your wife is no longer your social secretary. Make the effort to write a legible note, unless you have a physical condition which prevents your handwriting from being legible, in which case have your wife write it and sign it. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443/20 "2011-08-29T14:22:22Z")
I do this for my husband on occasion because his handwriting isn’t great. I make him come up with the wording for the note and then I will write it out for him and he signs it. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that and if this is the difference between a handwritten note on beautiful stationery and a typed letter on a piece of plain white paper it is well worth having her write it out for you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wife-writing-thank-you-note-for-me-rude/594443.md?page=2)