# Wildest Bill is Haunting Me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 28, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787 "2001-11-28T21:21:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![C\_Thompson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/57b2e6/32.png) [@C\_Thompson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_Thompson)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/1 "2001-11-28T21:21:35Z")
Whats going on with Wildest Bill, is he gone forever? He calls everyday wanting to get back on the dope. Wanting me to be his sock puppet. This nut is driving me crazy. I know this isn’t your problem but I told him I’d make one last plea for his right to post. If not, let it be and I’ll never mention his name again and he’ll get off my Back. So Bill when you read this and I know you will. Leave me the fuck alone! PS We all know he’s all talk and no balls anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/2 "2001-11-28T21:31:58Z")
Bargepole anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/3 "2001-11-28T21:36:46Z")
I was gonna say “Huh?”, but then I read **Fran** ’s post. Now I say “Double huh?” ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/4 "2001-11-28T21:42:31Z")
As in “I wouldn’t touch it with a …” ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/5 "2001-11-28T21:42:55Z")
Huh?[sup]3[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/6 "2001-11-28T21:44:10Z")
Wildest Bill? Me an’ the other old-timers are rockin’ on the front porch wonderin’ when Melin and Satan are a-goin’ to show up again . . . ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/7 "2001-11-28T21:51:58Z")
Probably just the ghost of a Texas ladies’ man. Go back to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/8 "2001-11-28T22:09:48Z")
I wouldn’t touch that with a ten-foot pole, either. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/9 "2001-11-28T22:16:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Wildest Bill? Me an’ the other old-timers are rockin’ on the front porch wonderin’ when Melin and Satan are a-goin’ to show up again . . . Can I wait on the porch, too? I’ll bring the shotguns and the malt liquor. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2001, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/10 "2001-11-28T22:21:10Z")
Long as you got a shotgun for each of us. Them’s three asses _I’d_ like to see peppered with buckshot. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/11 "2001-11-29T00:30:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*As in “I wouldn’t touch it with a …” \*\* I thought you meant–“ **Stick** a bargepole up his”… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/12 "2001-11-29T01:17:31Z")
i, for one, miss the guy. he seriously cracked me up. mexican fat burners, hee hee. i especially liked it when he got real upset and his carefully attached semi-illiterate moron mask slipped. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/13 "2001-11-29T02:12:58Z")
Buckshot my ass. A true country boy knows real fun is sitting on the porch, in a rocker, stingin’ 'em with a BB gun. I’ll bring the beer. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/14 "2001-11-29T02:32:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by essvee \* > \*\* i especially liked it when he got real upset and his carefully attached semi-illiterate moron mask slipped. \*\* I missed that one! Please link that thread if possible! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/15 "2001-11-29T02:36:06Z")
Oh, hell. He let that slip a lot. I think he was in real life the President of Harvard College. **Jon**! Watch it! You’ll put your damn EYE out with that thing! ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/16 "2001-11-29T02:44:32Z")
I promise to wear my best overalls, and I’ll bring the chaw, a bottle of moonshine, and my first cousin. I want on that porch 'right soon. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/17 "2001-11-29T02:50:33Z")
Now this is weird. My son (who is a regular lurker) and I were just telling my daughter about Wildest Bill, like maybe an hour ago. We even pulled up that GQ thread. The one with the classic Wildest Bill subject line. It was. . . umm. . . let me check– Alright I’m back. It was: Would Are Eco Sytem Be OK If We Extincted Mosquitos. So he’s haunting me too. Only I don’t need a gun like Mr. Thompson there. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/18 "2001-11-29T02:50:56Z")
**C Thompson** , if that is indeed your name, I I were you, I would step aside and not get between the afore-mentioned varmit and the people on that porch. It might not be healthy. (coding fixed. – Uke) [Edited by Ukulele Ike on 11-28-2001 at 08:58 PM] ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/19 "2001-11-29T02:57:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > Alright I’m back. It was: Would Are Eco Sytem Be OK If We Extincted Mosquitos. Actually, Bill didn’t capitalize the K in OK, either. It was just “Ok”. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787/20 "2001-11-29T02:58:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Whats going on with Wildest Bill, is he gone forever? He calls everyday wanting to get back on the dope. Wanting me to be his sock puppet. Wow, what a privilege. And so considerate of your membership status. ::runs down to basement and starts frantically loading shotgun shells with rock salt:: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildest-bill-is-haunting-me/95787.md?page=2)