# Wildly unsuitable songs for striptease acts. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 15, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608 "2004-01-15T17:30:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/1 "2004-01-15T17:30:20Z")
Sometimes songs just seem destined for heavy rotation in strip clubs. Kelis’ new single “Milkshake,” for example (“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…”) has probably already provided the sonic backdrop for thousands of panty shuckings and topless shimmies. I imagine _most_ popular or semi-popular or even obscure pop/rock/hip-hop songs will work pretty well for contemporary ecdysiasts. They don’t have to sport in-your-face (or in-your-ear) sex – they’ve just got to provide a suitable backdrop for an attractive person to do her or his thing. Either they’ve got hot lyrics, a danceable beat or both. Yet there are songs that I imagine would make horrible backdrops for striptease performances. They’re not just not sexy – they’d be anti-sexy. (Note: I do not have extensive strip club experience. I could be wrong. Maybe anything’s sexy if there’s a naked chick (or guy) involved.) Some candidates: **"Yellow Submarine," by the Beatles.** Simply absurd. And basically a kid’s song. **"The Gift," by Velvet Underground.** There are unlikely candidates in the Velvets’ catalog, but really, I can envision a funky routine done to something like “Sister Ray.” But this spoken tale of a man who mails himself to his girlfriend is a little too mellow and a little too weird to be very effective. **"Luka," by Suzanne Vega.** It’s not exactly a shake-your-rump sorta song – and it’s about child abuse! There have to be other, better, more ludicrous examples than these. Bonus points if it was a really popular song. And I’d love to hear from anyone who’s danced or seen someone dance to something really unlikely – especially if they pulled it off. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/2 "2004-01-15T17:36:23Z")
I went to a musical-comedy audition years ago where one of the actresses did a strip-tease while singing “I’m a Lonely Little Petunia in an Onion Patch.” P.S. she got the part. ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/3 "2004-01-15T17:47:04Z")
For some reason the first two songs that jumped into my head were **Ben Folds Five’s “Brick”** , and **The Battle Hymn of the Republic.** Although, now that I’m thinking about it, I’d REALLY like to see a striptease to **Gordon Lightfoot’s “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”** sometime. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hroeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9adbd/32.png) [@hroeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hroeder)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/4 "2004-01-15T17:54:27Z")
**Silent Night\*\*\*\*M is for. . .** ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/5 "2004-01-15T17:57:52Z")
“Bridge Over Troubled Water” “Annie’s Song” ---
**Author:** ![sciguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@sciguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciguy)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/6 "2004-01-15T18:04:16Z")
The first thing I thought of was that “ **Dude looks like a lady** ” would be a little off-putting in a straight strip club. But I really just wanted to post to thank **Interrobang** for introducing me to the word “ecdysiast”, now I just have to find a way to ease that into my daily vocabulary. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/7 "2004-01-15T18:04:48Z")
Jimi Hendrix’ version of “The Star Spangled Banner.” Pantera - Fucking Hostile Pantera - I’m Broken Left Front Tire - Countrboy Can Survive Hank Williams Jr. - Countryboy Can Survive The Sound Of Music soundtrack. Robert Johnson - Stop Breakin’ Down Blues Suite: Judy Blue Eyes - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young Haydn’s Symphony No. 2 - The “Surprise” Symphony ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/8 "2004-01-15T18:07:20Z")
I just posted this in another thread, but it works just as well here: Janis Ian’s “At Seventeen.” ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/9 "2004-01-15T18:11:07Z")
Leavin’ on a Jet Plane - Peter, Paul, & Mary Everyone would get depressed and leave the club. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/10 "2004-01-15T18:17:24Z")
Jermaine Stewart - “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off (to have a good time)” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/11 "2004-01-15T18:17:27Z")
The first tune that popped into my head was _Having My Baby_ by Paul Anka. Followed closely by _Lola_ by The Kinks. \ ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/12 "2004-01-15T18:22:24Z")
I was thinking maybe the themesong to the old Benny Hill show, but some sick bastards would probably like that. Let’s see, hilariously inappropriate… _Eleanor Rigby; Hey, Hey, We’re The Monkees; Tell Laura I Love Her; Feels So Good by Chuck Mangione; Taste Of Honey_ by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass (might’ve been hotter 25 years ago)_; Que Sera Sera; High Hopes_ by Frank Sinatra\*; Seasons In The Sun; A Horse With No Name; What A Friend We Have In Jesus…\* Any of those would be quite horrifying. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/13 "2004-01-15T18:24:01Z")
‘On the good ship lollypop’ would raise all sorts of wrong thoughts ---
**Author:** ![Ex\_Machina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/14 "2004-01-15T18:25:19Z")
I think some of the songs suggested would do pretty well. Here she comes down the runway. Jimi Hendrix’s screaming anthem begins. She has red, white, and blue sequinned bra and panties, spangled top-hat and tails, silver stilettoes, a white cotton beard, and a sparkler in each hand… How about _Billy, Don’t Be A Hero_ by Paper Lace? That would be kinda creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/15 "2004-01-15T18:27:59Z")
Any original song by Wierd Al Yankovich. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/16 "2004-01-15T18:47:54Z")
In my one and only trip to a strip bar, they played the _Cantina Song_ from **Star Wars** as the girl danced in front of me. I couldn’t help it – I cracked up. She looked a bit hurt until I told her it was the song. Doot-da-doot-da-doot-da-doo! ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/17 "2004-01-15T18:54:25Z")
I’d think anything by Sousa would qualify. I mean, I doubt anybody could shake their tootsies to the **Washington Post** , at least not without looking very, very silly. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/18 "2004-01-15T18:58:54Z")
Sadly, I’ve heard quite a few of these songs in the strip club. 😃 My friend used to dance to “Grandpa,” by the Judds. That is the most inappropriate strip song I’ve ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/19 "2004-01-15T18:59:52Z")
Ave Maria But I have to second “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.” Not only is the song itself a complete downer, but it’s so long she’d have time to strip down to her naughty bits, get dressed and strip again. ---
**Author:** ![Adjustable\_Beavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Adjustable\_Beavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adjustable_Beavis)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608/20 "2004-01-15T19:13:10Z")
“Cross Eyed Mary” and “Aqualung” by Jethro Tull would just not work. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/wildly-unsuitable-songs-for-striptease-acts/224608.md?page=2)